Okay, I Am An Idiot...........

[LarryJ]

LOOK, PEOPLE! :)

Some of you make it absolutely marvelous to help you! :D

1. WOW, some of you even write in complete, understandable sentences.

2. And, most of you even use punctuation.

3. And know to CAPITALIZE the FIRST letter of your NEW sentence.

4. And, you try really really hard to put things in order of their occurence, you know, like "this happened on 10/10/82 and then I did this on 12/03/83".

5. And, then, when you cannot make us to understand what you are trying to get across to us, and we ask you for more detail, you really deliver the goods, so to speak!

And, when necessary, you always attempt to provide us with ALL the necessary information to enable us to assist you.

Thank you for your time.

LarryJ :D

Edited January 7, 2010 by LarryJ

[cowgirl]

Yes

Looking at this from several angles:

From one angle, I can see Larry’s point. (kind of sort of…) It can be very hard to help someone if you can’t understand what they are saying. But I do think the reason they aren’t communication in a way that is easily understood should be taken into consideration.

For those of you who are younger, you might want to keep in mind that “text speak” is relatively new. Though the younger generation seems to be able to actually think in text language, those of us who are a little older have to try to decipher it into something that we can understand (i.e. English).

So it does help us if you try to communicate in a way that is understandable to those trying to help. That doesn’t mean you have to have your post proofread by an English teacher prior to posting. But try, as much as possible, to make your questions clear enough that the person trying to help can save their brain power for answering the tough questions.

From another angle, sometimes people don’t communicate very clearly because they lack the skills to do so. I certainly think such people not only deserve to be helped – but also probably need help more than those who have better writing and communication skills. And I certainly don’t think they deserve to be put down for not having better skills than they do.

From another angle, sometimes the whole experience of dealing with the VA makes us so mixed up and confused that we cannot think straight ourselves , let alone communicate our thoughts clearly to another person.

I have reached that point many times myself – where I try to explain something, and no matter how logical and rational I try to be, the thoughts just all pour out in whatever order they do – and any attempts to straighten them out just tangles them more.

I have seen many examples of vets asking for help – and their mind was in such an overwhelmed state that it was hard to understand what they were saying. But I also saw how over time, those same vets got clearer and clearer and clearer – as fellow members helped them sort through the tangles and put some order to their claim (and their thoughts).

I certainly know that the times my mind was a tangled mess, fellow hadit members helped me straighten out the tangles and so it started making sense to me – and thus, I could explain things in a way that made sense to others.

So I have seen hadit as a “safe place” that we could bring our tangled messes, without the need to tidy them all up and make them look pretty first.

I am not quite sure that hadit is quite that same safe place anymore. It seems to have more of a bite to it than it used to have.

Anyway – those are some of the angles I see . I am sure there are more.

[hawkfire27]

I think this whole "post/thread" is an excellent example of how we really need to be sure we are able to help someone out with their claim BEFORE we offer the help.

1.

A lot of the time these vets are screwed up and in desperate need of help....i.e. I know a vet that just putting two sentences together is a real challenge, because his anxiety just gets the better of him (PTSD related) so 30 odd years on he still hasn't put in a claim to the VA because he just CAN'T do it, even with help filling out forms and requesting records, he gets everything together then forget where it is, or just throws it all away because the process starts freaking him out, he has no close family.... no nobody, so who helps him if he needs to talk in the middle of the night, I do, because I knew what I was getting into before I offered my help, and when it gets too much I let him know, without making him feel like crap because of it!!!!!

2.

On the other hand, it is common courtesy to respect those that are trying to help...i.e. don't expect everyone to be awake just because you are. and if you are able, follow instructions and most importantly be thankful.

3.

I hate it when I start seeing Vets fighting amongst eachother, like all the competition of who served where and for how long, and what branch of the military. The simple thing is that every vet sacrificed something, be it sanity, health, friends, or just the innocence of the civilian... everyone lost something, so would you all quit the infighting please, we are here trying to be a united front for the benefit of eachother aren't we!

Ignorance can be cured, stupidity can't! :)

Edited January 8, 2010 by hawkfire27

[Philip Rogers]

I, personally, rarely respond to anyone who can't at least try to make their questions readable. I have no desire to try to decipher what someone is trying to say. If they choose to use "text like" messaging then they aren't interested in my help. I, personally, interpret their actions as being "too lazy" to spend the time needed to explain their question(s) and if that's the case I need not waste my time, nor theirs. I have that right, in that my time is donated and I can pick and choose which posts I respond to. jmo

pr

Edited January 8, 2010 by Philip Rogers

[Sailorman]

Well, now. There is something that I can agree with (actually, I think it's hilariously funny.....but, at least you spelled it right).

BTW, most of the vets that I know, well, they can take up for themselves..........but, I'm sure they appreciated your help.

Cute!

[LarryJ]

I, personally, rarely respond to anyone who can't at least try to make their questions readable. I have no desire to try to decipher what someone is trying to say. If they choose to use "text like" messaging then they aren't interested in my help. I, personally, interpret their actions as being "too lazy" to spend the time needed to explain their question(s) and if that's the case I need not waste my time, nor theirs. I have that right, in that my time is donated and I can pick and choose which posts I respond to. jmo

pr

AH-HAH..........my feelings, best put into words.

Thanks, PR.

[Berta]

It is very difficult for many disabled veterans to communicate on this forum due to their disabilities or limits in typing expertise,etc.There is no requirement to be a rocket scientist to post here and it is a challenge for many to state what is what with their claims in a way we can really figure their situation out.

But this is why-in many cases- if they take the time to refer us to their BVA decision by a link to it or a scan of it-or attach their decision from a RO here (cover personal stuff) we get a much better idea of what they are talking about.

Did you ever spend time on the phone or at your home with a vet explaining their claim and their evidence-and then when you see the actual evidence and decision-it is much different that how they presented it? Been there done that -dont do that anymore.

I find I start to give up when I keep reading something I don't understand without the actual VA wording for a vet,s denial.Or if I find I am repeating myself to the same vet-who either forgot where they originally posted and asks the same questions again and again or they simply don't like my reply and they post the same question again to wait for a reply they like more then mine at some point. I just go on to someone else's posts.

Larry is doing his best and goes beyond the call for many veterans. I feel the same frustration he feels-

when I cannot decifer what a veteran is trying to get across to us.It is what the VA itself has written in a decision that contains the keys to why they denied and what evidence is lacking.

Or vets get into the issue of CUE-a very complex issue- yet everything they need to know for CUE is here at hadit and the BVA CUE decisions reveal the very pulse of the VA in the way they grant or deny CUE claims and why.

Lets all try to kiss and make up and start Hadit's 2010 on a positive tone-and if we ask for the decision - try to scan it, cover the personal stuff, and attach here-and we could get a better handle on why they denied or what evidence is still needed.Or just the link to the BVA decision. They post them about 2-4 months after they decide the claim.