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Called The Suicide Hotline Yesterday...

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hedgey

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I was bumping along the bottom yesterday afternoon. I'd asked my therapist and my psychiatrist about calling the hotline, because I was afraid that if I called, the men in white suits would be pounding on my door. They both assured me that it wouldn't happen.

So when I was feeling near the frizzy end of the rope, I gave in and called it. I'm glad to say that I'm still here and have not been carted off. The woman I spoke to was pretty supportive and made me feel better. She asked a lot of questions, but not my name. She offered to put in a consult for me, but when I hesitated, she just gave me the name of someone to call to help me find better treatment (she agreed that what I've been getting from the VA is inadequate... that by itself made me feel better).

So I just wanted to tell anyone here who has considered calling but was afraid to that they ought to give it a try. I know they got my phone number from the caller ID, but I really don't thing they want to send anyone to the funny farm unless it's a case of imminent harm.

I felt like I was able to call and just cry, and get some things off my chest, and relieve some tension. Knowing that I can do it again if I need to helps a lot.

Best wishes, everyone.

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Hey guy's and Gal's, Please seek help at any moment you think you are in an depress mood, crying spells, and feeling hopeless, The work is not easy. Is like opening a book on the wrong page we don't want to read. so we put it off, Just remember the book has pages before, and after, plus it would come to and end. I am coming from a person that just today I had an appointment with my Doc. I dreaded the visit from the day before. So today I got organize and with out being intentional i just read two lines of my assignment for the day. I cry like a baby for about a minute, then tears keep coming until my appointment at one o'clock. More emotions in session, But once it was finish for the day and I got some feedback. I am making progress, I don't avoid as much. Plus even thou I had a big headache, and feeling drain. I did not crawl in bed the rest of the day. I am taking several days off before I continue down my therapy road. I don't dread the next appointment. Fellows, the book will end, at least give it a try and at you own pace, I decided to go all out. But you should be in control of your progress. Suicide is final. Love you guy's and Gal's, Pete wish you well brother.

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hedgey, first off, i'm mighty glad you're "still here", too. any of us who've been close to the edge and thankfully scared or repulsed some sense back into ourselves knows what you're feeling. my next day came after a beautiful cool september morn arrived to convince me otherwise(yes, the song was on my mind as soon as i saw it; props to neil diamond "We've traveled halfway 'round the world To find ourselves again"). not everyone gets to have a day or more after. welcome to the "club" and thoughts and prayers for more membership (which is free, by the way, but requires active participation in a "crazy" little thing called life). :(

I was bumping along the bottom yesterday afternoon. I'm glad to say that I'm still here ...

Best wishes, everyone.

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I was bumping along the bottom yesterday afternoon. I'd asked my therapist and my psychiatrist about calling the hotline, because I was afraid that if I called, the men in white suits would be pounding on my door. They both assured me that it wouldn't happen.

So when I was feeling near the frizzy end of the rope, I gave in and called it. I'm glad to say that I'm still here and have not been carted off. The woman I spoke to was pretty supportive and made me feel better. She asked a lot of questions, but not my name. She offered to put in a consult for me, but when I hesitated, she just gave me the name of someone to call to help me find better treatment (she agreed that what I've been getting from the VA is inadequate... that by itself made me feel better).

So I just wanted to tell anyone here who has considered calling but was afraid to that they ought to give it a try. I know they got my phone number from the caller ID, but I really don't thing they want to send anyone to the funny farm unless it's a case of imminent harm.

I felt like I was able to call and just cry, and get some things off my chest, and relieve some tension. Knowing that I can do it again if I need to helps a lot.

Best wishes, everyone.

My story is a bit different hedgey, It happened in 2003 when I was fininshing up my meb/peb and reality had sank in that I was going home whether I liked it or not. It wasnt planned or really even thought out or a recurring thought prior, nor did I have previous thoughts of it much. Never wrote a letter, or called to say goodbyes or anything like that. The only thing that was done was I sat down and underlined the versus in the Bible that I wanted read at my funeral and hoped that would give people some insight as to why I did it. This is the same little bible they gave me at MEPs when I entered service and it was carried in my BDU shirt pocket through every deployment and was very worn from frequent reading. Then sat it down in front of me and ate every pill I had on the coffee table and laid down for a "nap" And low and behold about a day and a half later I came to with white sweat stains soaking me and the couch, urine as well, with the worst headache you could possibly imagine. Well after all the hooplah was over with everyone kept asking WHY? All my life Ive been a protector and defender, of friends, family, and sometimes total strangers who couldnt do it themselves, home and abroad. It was the only driving force in my life and here I was not even able to defend myself if need be and sometimes I still cant. But after a few years I realized theres other ways to help, and people have told me Ive made a difference in their life or even saved it by just being around and them seeing what I deal with and still keep going. Dont get me wrong no matter what the docs say some demons cannot be dealt with by pills and groups you just have to find a way and then the fight is still never over. Its hard... Damn hard but hang in there man theres something better for us all somewhere we just have to be strong enough to keep looking. You are not alone

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I called the suicide number once and was put on hold. Go figure.

jerr

jerr,

Suicide ain't "funny", okay?

enough.

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