Called The Suicide Hotline Yesterday...

[hedgey]

I was bumping along the bottom yesterday afternoon. I'd asked my therapist and my psychiatrist about calling the hotline, because I was afraid that if I called, the men in white suits would be pounding on my door. They both assured me that it wouldn't happen.

So when I was feeling near the frizzy end of the rope, I gave in and called it. I'm glad to say that I'm still here and have not been carted off. The woman I spoke to was pretty supportive and made me feel better. She asked a lot of questions, but not my name. She offered to put in a consult for me, but when I hesitated, she just gave me the name of someone to call to help me find better treatment (she agreed that what I've been getting from the VA is inadequate... that by itself made me feel better).

So I just wanted to tell anyone here who has considered calling but was afraid to that they ought to give it a try. I know they got my phone number from the caller ID, but I really don't thing they want to send anyone to the funny farm unless it's a case of imminent harm.

I felt like I was able to call and just cry, and get some things off my chest, and relieve some tension. Knowing that I can do it again if I need to helps a lot.

Best wishes, everyone.

[jbasser]

We have had some folks here directly effected by this subject matter.

There is a time and place for everything. We need not be insensitive as others who have sufffered enough to bear the burden of a loved one who has passed.

J

[Josephine]

Hedgey,

I am happy to see you are feeling much better today.

Depression is a terrible thing and sometimes we just need someone to talk to that

understands us.

I am blessed with so many friends on Hadit that are here for me any time of the day.

I have posted all hours of the day and night and there is always some one here.

Take care,

Betty

[Pete53]

I believe that this thread can save lives so I will not close it. Anyone who makes a joke here can expect a time out. If you feel the need to joke around try Social Chat.

We are losing dozens of Veterans a day to suicide and people with depression and or pain are more likely to think about it. It is much better to discuss the issues and support each other as much as we can

I promise anyone that is thinking about it that if they wait their situation will change and I please with you to ask for help.

The VA is trying to do something about it and the posts with links and hot lines are very helpful.

If you cannot be positive or supportive on this thread please go elsewhere

[hedgey]

I posted about my latest freak-out-obsession-anxiety, but I wanted to come back here a bit. I read all the posts here, and got some strength from them. I know that tomorrow will be different, maybe worse, but maybe better. I've made a vow to myself to always call the hotline if I can't believe in better being a possibility. It will be the thing I HAVE to do before I'm allowed to take any other steps. And I'll come here a lot more often. I might even allow myself to start believing I'm not alone. I'll work on it.

Thank you, to everyone here.

[matt]

Regarding this thread,

I too have been at odds with calling the hotline. I have been severely depressed the last few months. i have not been active on this board and even stopped seeing my shrink at the VA. why, it is easier for me to deal with my situation, by not dealing with it. everytime i saw my shrink all she wanted to talk about was my job capabilities and i am not just at that point in my life. I hate to disapoint, so i just stopped going a few months ago. i am trying to gain enough strength to go in a dn tell her to her face, but at this point haven't built up enough courage.

I have often contemplated just ending it all. the one reason i haven't is I have small children and that would be the most selfish thing in the world to them. So i don't, but that doesn't stop the ideation's i have and the morbid thoughts. I also, stopped taking the meds they prescribed for me and started self medicatiing deaily, which by the way seem to help me sleep better. Just don't know what to do at this point.

matt

[Pete53]

Matt:

Please work with your Doctor or ask for another. Take your Meds its important. Your kids deserve better and so do you. I will pray for you.

Hedgey:

You are not alone and talking about this is important. Over the years sometimes I have gotten major relief just by bring it out on a thread and reading what my Fambly on Hadit has to say. You are not alone I know I care about you and will pray for you also.

I too have had to deal with depression over the loss of my brother and many others that were dear to me last year and a few days ago I started singing and had a few moments of real joy that today I savor. I look at things sometimes with a critical eye but I do know I have more days of joy and probably some more dark days but I will savor the good ones and deal with the bad ones.

If anyone feels like ending it its really a bad decision and is a Permanent Solution for a Temporary Problem and there are also many who tried and really ended up much worse off.

I pray that I never hear of another suicide