Called The Suicide Hotline Yesterday...

[hedgey]

I was bumping along the bottom yesterday afternoon. I'd asked my therapist and my psychiatrist about calling the hotline, because I was afraid that if I called, the men in white suits would be pounding on my door. They both assured me that it wouldn't happen.

So when I was feeling near the frizzy end of the rope, I gave in and called it. I'm glad to say that I'm still here and have not been carted off. The woman I spoke to was pretty supportive and made me feel better. She asked a lot of questions, but not my name. She offered to put in a consult for me, but when I hesitated, she just gave me the name of someone to call to help me find better treatment (she agreed that what I've been getting from the VA is inadequate... that by itself made me feel better).

So I just wanted to tell anyone here who has considered calling but was afraid to that they ought to give it a try. I know they got my phone number from the caller ID, but I really don't thing they want to send anyone to the funny farm unless it's a case of imminent harm.

I felt like I was able to call and just cry, and get some things off my chest, and relieve some tension. Knowing that I can do it again if I need to helps a lot.

Best wishes, everyone.

[maset22]

Life is a miracle, it is a gift, and if we think about life, it will change in a moment notice. I believe we have more good day's than not so good ones. for whatever reason, some of us goes down a road that is difficult at times, But I say, better me than someone that cannot handle it. I take my pills, pray, cry, and read hadit. good thing we can call the hot line, call whoever you need. I find writing about the moment works for me. Work with your Dr. If that one is not working, ask for another. Hang in there brothers and sisters, I am glad we can share and help each other. Because I also know about pain, so please, hang in there. much love.

[chr49]

You never know who's words will lift you out of the desperation you are feeling.

In 2007, I had lost a job of 23 years. At the age of 57, they told me they didn't need me anymore and I had hit bottom. After 9 months, I found a service technician position for 1/3 of what I'd been making and my family was barely surviving. My anxiety level was constantly off the roof. I felt worthless and ashamed. To top of all of those feelings, I had just learned that my hours at the new job were being cut back.

One day, I was having an extra bad day when a customer came in (a man I'd worked with several times) and we got to talking while I was working on his unit. It didn't take long and I was telling him my feelings. We had quite a long discussion, talking about my Vietnam experience and everything else you could think of. When he was ready to leave the shop he asked me if I'd ever been evaluated for PTSD or been to the VA for a medical evaluation. When I told him I'd avoided the VA ever since leaving the Army he suggested I go to the ER at a VA medical center in our area if I continued feeling the way I was. He said he thought they would be most helpful in my situation. I felt so much better after speaking to him and I told him I would consider his recommendations. The thing is, he had all the right words when I needed to hear them. Other people had told me I needed to get help over the years but this man's kindness and caring had made the difference. A few days later, I woke up in the same state of mind and his words came back to me so I headed to the VA medical center's emergency room. I've heard all sorts of horror stories where the VA was concerned and didn't have much trust left in me - but I have to say that I was treated with respect and caring. That day made a huge difference in my life.

Please - Where ever you are - Who ever you are - If you are having feelings of worthlessness, or suicidal thoughts, please don't be afraid or ashamed to head to your nearest VA facility or hospital for help or pick up that phone and call the suicide hot line! It could make the difference in your life as it did in mine.