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Homicidal/crime Ideaology...

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OEF n' Home Again

Question

Hello my friends and fellow Vets.

Sorry to bug you with another question,

I was recently diagnosed with Chronic PTSD by a military Dr. (I come off Active Duty in a couple wks)

As we met, he asked me questions about homicidal thoughts and intentions, etc. I did my best to dance around the issue and ultimately I avoided an honest answer. Please hear me and know why I did this and give me advice for what I should do.

It's true. I have a very hot temper and when I am engrossed in anger I just want to go out and commit a crazy crime. Or, if someone really crosses me, I imagine killing them in a variety of ways but I doubt I would ever act on that unless pushed. I am seeking help for the many problems associated with PTSD, but I am avoiding this part because I am afraid of several things:

1- I don't want them to "lock me up" in a VA hospital just because I am feeling this way.

2- I don't want to be kicked out of my reserve unit because I need the money and - I get cheap health insurance thru them (tricare reserve select) and I can't afford to lose that heath insurance for my wife and small kids.

My brothers and sisters, what should I do?

Should I just tell the Dr (Active Duty Doc) all of these things? or should I wait until I go to the VA to do it? I know it would have bad repercussions if I did. I am still on active duty orders for 2 more weeks, and then I am in the reserves.

I just don't know what to do. Are there other health insurance options that would cover the family? I'm afraid that if I got kicked out or such that I would disclose my medical history to a new ins company and they would deny my fam insurance because of my pre-existing conditions...

Or do I just keep a lid on how I feel at times and go on with life?

So confused,

OEF VET

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"It's true. I always have passive thoughts that aren't so Christian... those don't bother me as much as when I lose control..... it is then that I hope nobody gets on my bad side when I am in that awful, terrible state of mind... to include unexplained anger, rage, and feeling that the only way to feel better is to do something so extreme. This is what scares me. My wife cautioned me last time that I stormed out the door, "honey, just be careful. I don't want you to hurt someone or yourself""

I recommend that you check out a Vet Center, too, if there is one near your home. I have gotten lots of help from my counselor regarding how to deal with anger and rage. It can be controlled - and I've suffered from it for 40-some years. Good luck!

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  • HadIt.com Elder

Home:

Are you able to hold a job? If you are unemployed you should consider TDIU and SSD.

I am glad that you got help. Untreated PTSD is a horrible thing to live with in my opinion.

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I've been doing internet searches and found my old company commander's job and home address. This is the same guy that I told my VA Shrink that I want to kill. About 5 weeks after Ft. Hood. Not sure what he wrote but he was typing very fast.

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