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C & P
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EthanAllen
C and P exam on June 10. I have done plenty of reading on this site and everyone says just be yourself on a bad day. I agree, but with the day bearing down it all makes sense why others express their feelings when this day approaches. My thoughts are hard to gather as it comes closer. I sit back and just keep heeding the advice before me. Letting go in the office of another person who you do not trust is daunting at best. Took six months to open up with my therapist. I want to do what I have done for 25 years and walk in and say it is alright but in truth it is not the case. Talking about the incident and all the years of messing up will be hard. Thoughts of suicide and homicide are embarrassing. Telling someone your innermost thoughts is a revelation that is gut wrenching. Am I scared, no. Am I a person who does not want to admit weakness, yes. Now I see what the dilemma is when this day arrives. Will I say it right, will I say everything, will I be overwhelmed with emotion, will they believe me, will I be brave enough to empty the bucket of emotions. Just thoughts that I have, just thoughts. My case is airtight in relation to verification. I was a business owner of eight retail locations for many years and now I have been reduced to all that I own fits in a small pick up truck. To go from 18 years of success to the last 2 years one step from homeless in beyond belief. I hate the outside world. I want to hide from everyone.
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