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Notice On A Holiday

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Steppenwolf

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Thanks Berta. i didn't realize that others get that strange emotional reaction.

The other thing that happened was the filing with the US court for veterans claims. Two people mentioned to me that if i file i would get solicited by attorneys wanting to represent me. The day after i filed my mail box was full and my phone didn't stop ringing. ( another reason to turn the phone off ) Just when i thought i could put the paperwork away for a while the crap is pouring in from everywhere. i know it sounds unreal but my head hurt so much i seem to be losing my sight literally! In fact everything hurts.

Steppenwolf -many here- myself included- find a VA victory brings on a let down, depression, a feeling of isolation and exhaustion and a myraid of emotions. It is very hard to put down the weapons too and also realize that an award really validates how severe a service disability really is.

For 1151/ FTCA issues an award can be even worse-when one realizes their disability was caused by the VA itself.

For my husband his SSA award at first was good news,financially, but then the realization he would never work again was devastating to him.He said if the VA could offer brain surgery to cure PTSD-he would try to be first in line for that surgery.

We yippee and yahoo about anyone when they succeed on their claim but we also never forget the sacrifice that led them to the award letter.

I think sometimes we are all 'lone wolfs' in our deepest feelings when we succeed with the VA. My last award letter made me angry.15 years after his death, the VA finally got my husband's actual diagnoses correct.

My IMOs and my other evidence got them correct- that is- and the VA finally had no way to challenge the claim.I am still angry about their medical incompetence.and their futile attempt to cover it up and as I mentioned here the other day somewhere- the 1998 1151 award letter still gives me chills to read their admissions of malpractice.

If you have mixed feelings or find yourself ina different place emotionally because of the award-MANY here know just what you mean and you are not alone in those feelings.

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