ptsd What Have I Done?

[Roly]

Background: Vietnam vet, '69-71. I was granted 30% for PTSD in 2008 , added to 10% tinnitus; and wrote a NOD to put the effective date back to where I started the process, and objected to the 30% as insufficient. I wrote in the NOD that the private C&P exam psychologist they hired was a dismissive and rude jerk, and further requested that if a new C&P exam was called for that they not send me to that individual. The effective date was put back to 6/2006, which I accepted. Before my year to assemble stuff was up, however, they wrote a denial for the 30% disagreement. I had just sent in supportive letters from my wife, my only long time friend, and the counselor I had been sent to by the local Vet Center, for a year, but they had not been reviewed before the denial was sent to me. Then I sent in a form 9 requesting a BVA review. I have been waiting for this to be scheduled, expecting a circuit BVA hearing in Seattle. So, I recently received a letter from Seattle Regional DRO saying that a private medical entity has been instructed to give me a new C&P exam, and that they hope to resolve my appeal in a fair and timely manner.

I had been assembling a bit of a rambling letter to the VBA going into why I can't face going back to work, am getting by on a minimal pension, and addressing PTSD symptoms as they apply to me, including suicidal ideation. I went to this second C&P with a different psychologist, and gave him these notes, as well as the earlier C&P report, the rambling letter that I had never sent to the benefits people, and the denial letter from them. He said, "Let me read this and I will continue with a phone conversation within the week." He called this morning with just a couple of questions about the stressor, and a recommendation that I get my VA doctor to switch me from Prozac to something called Pristiq, and that the original C&P seemed flawed to him, and that he thinks I suffer from anxiety disorder as well as PTSD. I said OK, thanks. Then this afternoon he called back and said he will mail me the report that he is sending to the VBA via QTC, and that in it he is recommending that I would benefit from INPATIENT TREATMENT for a MONTH. Oh Shit. Can these guys grab me for incarceration in their looney bin? This examiner's friend is the head of the PTSD department, or whatever they call it, at a VA med center, and the C&P examiner thinks I ought to go see him. Does this man want to help me, or is this a new tactic to get veterans disappeared, or, even, "Cured" to 0% disability?

WTF. Perhaps I should be afraid, very afraid,

Roly

[Roly]

Not sure if this will persuade you to consider the in house program or not but it will help your claim for increase and you also can file for the 100% for the month or so you are in.

I see what you are saying, but I really do not think I could be a psych inpatient for a month. It is hard enough to go to the Med Center, or the C&P. I have to do those things, so I can think of it as some sort of in and out mission, grit my teeth, and just do it, but hanging out there in my jammies, under observation all the time, is too much to contemplate. I think I would rather forgo the improved rating than be among people like that.

Also, though it is a moot point, I heard that the 100% starts after being inpatient for 21 days. ?????

Roly

[LarryJ]

" I think I would rather forgo the improved rating than be among people like that."

................................and, all those folks that are "on the inside", lookin' out and watchin' you comin' down the hall towards them..........they all thinkin' "damn, do we have to be in here with people like that?"

just sayin'...............................................................................

[Roly]

................................and, all those folks that are "on the inside", lookin' out and watchin' you comin' down the hall towards them..........they all thinkin' "damn, do we have to be in here with people like that?"

just sayin'...............................................................................

[LarryJ]

................................and, all those folks that are "on the inside", lookin' out and watchin' you comin' down the hall towards them..........they all thinkin' "damn, do we have to be in here with people like that?"

just sayin'...............................................................................

Ha! I see what I wrote and how you read it...I didn't mean "people like that," as in THOSE sorts of people; I tried to say, " Among people, in that manner." Referring to my increasing preference for solitude and isolation, non interaction, hermit, reclusive, etc., such as PTSD afflicted people sometimes do. You know, those sorts of persons. Some guys like group therapy, and I bet I could benefit from it, but it would be REAL HARD to walk in there. I am a dry alcoholic for many years, but back when I realized it would be the death of me, I tried one AA meeting, and had to quit, half assed some would say, all by myself, for pretty much the same reason. Pretty dam pathetic, but them's the cards I'm presently holding. Like Catch 22, getting un-nuts would drive me nutser.

Roly

Roly, don't worry, I actually KNEW what you meant. But, I thought it was funny the way that you stated it, and I'm the comedian around here so let's just let me roll with the flow:rolleyes: .

And, I REALLY do know how you feel/felt about "goin' cold turkey" about the drinking and going to what I like to call "group gropes" (group therapy). After all, I'm the guy that decided that, after 30 years of two-pack a day smoking, I gets up one morning, throw my ciggys in the waste basket and walked away and never even missed em. And, I'm the one that decided that I was not an "alchoholic", but that I just liked to drink, for several reasons un-related to addiction.

So, I do know where you're coming from, and understand.