ptsd New To This Site But Not To The Bs

[Kim82]

Hello everyone,

My name is Kim and I was released from active duty in September 2007 and since June 2008 I have been serving in an Army Reserve unit here in Las Vegas. I was deployed to Iraq from 2006-2007 with the 82nd ABN DIV 1/505 PIR (Forward Support Company) I was one of 7 females in the whole unit, my MOS was 88M (Truck Driver) I am now a 42A(Human Resources) While in Iraq I was tasked with working checkpoints searching women and children, when I wasn't doing that I would be driving convoys to relocate detainees to bigger fobs and to resuply. On February 12 2007 I was in a convoy going to FOB Speicher we were on MSR Tampa there was a black intertube on the side of the road the lead truck called it up and my Platoon Sgt said for us to keep going, even though we had EOD in our convoy with us. We continue on our route not long after that I came upon the intertube and when I saw it I knew something wasn't right. I was driving an LMTV with 6 Iraqi Detainees in the back of it. I pressed the gas as far as it would go hoping that I could pass this object without anything happening. As soon as my cab cleared it, it went off the IED hit right behind my cab and injured all of the detainees in the back very badly. I was later found to have mild internal bleeding but was told I would recover just fine. After that I was not the same, Going on missions for me I was begging and wanting to die, I didn't care anymore I had given up and knew that my life could be taken at anytime and I didn't care because it would have been better with everything that I was dealing with at the time I would have been better off dead. After getting back from Iraq I knew I had issues with my temper and my attitude about a lot of things. I just kept telling myself that it was normal and I would get back to me soon, well after waiting nearly 4 years I have come to see this is not the case. I filed a claim with the VA in May 2010 for PTSD, and a few other health issues that I have had since Iraq. I have gone to all of my C&P appointments and my file is still in the 1st Phase of the process so god only knows how long it will take for them to give me a rating. I have recently started seeing a therapist at my local Vet Center, everything was beginning to be too much for me to handle on my own and so I finally broke down and made a phone call. I just hope that it gets better, my marriage is hanging on by a thread right now because of everything. I have horrible insomnia, It takes me hours to fall asleep and I wake up numerous times during the night I lay there trying to go back to sleep until my alarm goes off then it's time to go to work. My fuse has been getting shorter by the day and I am not sure how much more of this I can handle, I blow up on people for anything anymore and I hate it. This is not who I am I don't know this person that is living my life and I don't like her and she needs to go the hell away so I can have my life back. Everything is affecting my work performance and I don't know how much longer I can keep trying to pretend like everything is fine and do my job at the same time, it is very time consuming and it drains all of my energy. I just don't know what to do anymore. I found this site through google and after reading some of the forums I decided that this might be a good place for me to get advice and help since I have no real support system here. I am working with a VSO with the VFW for my claim but I don't know how much help he really will end up being. So that is me in a nutshell I guess, I am sure I am leaving things out because my memory sucks and I forget things so dang easily but this will have to do for now.

Kim

[Kim82]

Berta I posted the results of my c&p in the c&p forum if you want to look at it but yes he diagnosed me with PTSD

[Teac]

Kim,

I just wanted to say hi and add my welcome.

I'm an old soldier, and when I read stories like yours it brings back some bad memories and I get to tearing.

I don't normally respond to these type subjects because of the bad memories, but I am sure some ot the other members wil respond with good informtion. I hope things work out for you.

[Papa]

Kim,

Welcome. After reading your post, it was like reading my own. People here are wonderful.

Papa

[Kim82]

Thank you for the Welcome,

I have read your posts and I agree we sound a lot alike.

Kim,

Welcome. After reading your post, it was like reading my own. People here are wonderful.

Papa

[carlie]

Reason I ask is that the new PTSD rules have prohibited PTSD vets coming under the new PTSD criteria

from obtaining an independent medical opinion that diagnoses their PTSD.

This has been challenged in court.

Berta,

I think it would still be helpful (BOD) if a VA claimant somehow is able to get an additional

PTSD diagnosis from a private or SSA mental health professional, that relates to active duty.

This has got to be changed - VA's psych docs can't be allowed to hold a monopoly on diagnosis.

I sure hope they are ironing this out - but as always it will take quite a while, although I feel it shouldn't

have to - and some vets will be denied and left out in the cold until this changes.

[Kim82]

Just to give an update, I did contact someone at my congressman's office because my claim was over 280 some days from being filed I thought I had done the fast track I sent in all my med records with my claim and everything so I couldn't see how it was taking so long. So I got a call from the lady that works at his office yesterday and she informed me that she had called the VA and it turned out they had my Claim in the wrong location that they did not fast track it like they were supposed to. I was livid when I found this out, but she did assure me that it was being taken care of and they had everything they needed to decide my case and they were taking my claim to the decision office as we spoke. I checked Ebenefits today and sure enough it's now in the decision phase, the rep told me it would be about 8 weeks but I would have my rating in my hand. I am a bit releaved right now to say the least. But leave it to the VA to mess something like this up.