Lost A Good Friend On His 64Th B'day

[Philip Rogers]

Need a little help. A good friend died, on Friday, 5/6/11. He served w/101st Airborne(but he was a leg/non-airborne) 3/187 "Rakkasans," and was at Hamburger Hill. I'm fairly sure he was over 10yrs at 100%. Two days after he died the VA awarded him 10% for IHD, back to 5/2010, but no change in comp payment. We have the service and burial of his ashes, tomorrow. Cause of death was pneumonia, secondary to COPD. No autopsy done. COPD wasn't SC but has over 10yrs at 100%. Unfortunately no will or trust - people please do these things now!!! It's easier on the family if they know what you want. And, BTW, we "are" going to die, in case you have any doubts.

I need to help his wife and need to verify what I need to do.

1.) Apply for his final check.

2.) Appeal his IHD for a higher rating and EED. I believe he's a Nehmer claim, as he didn't file. The VA did it themselves.

3.) File a claim for her for 2yrs of whatever he may have had coming, if we can win the EED and increased percentage.

4.) Apply for his VA life ins benefit.

5.) Apply for DIC.

6.) Apply for funeral and burial benefit. Funeral home says maybe $600 max. I say roughly $2300 is due. ???

7.) Request a complete copy of his c-file and medical records.

8.) Anything I forgot???

Thanks to any who respond! He's at peace now and his wife is comfortable with her faith. She knows what happens, happens for the best, even tho we may not agree at the time.

pr

Edited May 13, 2011 by Philip Rogers

[Philip Rogers]

Thanks Carlie! Yup, they are skeleton crews. The active duty were sharp but those VFW members left a lot to be desired. To me, they actually looked more like homeless VN vets. Hey, maybe they were and the VFW was requiring this for receiving the VFW's help?? The feds tried to shut down the program a while back and were met w/a lot of resistance, so they reinstated it. Me, I don't want a funeral, just a direct cremation. I just need to find a Vietnamese wife, who'll get my DIC & ChampVA, and make they VA keep paying, and paying, and . . . .

pr

[Berta]

Philip-I got quite a chuckle out of that one-

I am very sorry for the loss of your friend.I didn't realize at first you were the poster for the DIC questions.

And need to add- if any vet wishes burial at a VA Cemetery, neither the VA Cemetery office nor the Chaplaincy handles the request for a military funeral.I guess the funeral director is supposed to request it but mine didn't.

Luckily the VFW read my husband's Obit in the local newspaper (I wrote it myself and included all of his decorations as well as mentioned he was a combat disabled Vietnam vet which the funeral director approved with acknowledgment from his DD 214 and 215.The VA services were about a month after his death.

VFW contacted me right away and said they were very glad they read this info in the obit as no one from VA or the funeral home had contacted them.I thought it was SOP for Military funerals for disabled veterans but I sure was wrong.

The VFW had enough time to access

the Color Guard and spruce up their uniforms and buy some bullets.The Chaplain has to push a button near the pedestal where the cremains or casket is and then the Taps tape goes off and you can hear it all over the Bath VA facility.

It was a Beautiful service and burial.One of the PTSD vets took photos of it all for me.

About a year ago a widow sure gave the local VA Hell as she expected her husband, disabled by service, would receive a military funeral since he was being buried at the VA. He didnt get one because no one followed through on making the arrangements.

Death can come unexpectedly and survivors often don't get the info they need to know right away.

Last time I checked with the local cemetery office, they told me they still have no input into Military funerals and the survivors should contact the VFW.

They have to do that right away as any vet in a Color Guard might have to take time off from work or travel a great distance or find a uniform that still fits them.

I have much peace of mind every time I go to the cemetery.They are putting me on top of my husband.

They gave me the Plot deed right after the services and I stuck it into my death file.

[hedgey]

Philip, so sorry to hear of you friend's passing. Thanks to him for his service, and to his wife for hers. And thanks to all here for all this information. I need a kick in the pants to start getting things in order for my family, too.

[Philip Rogers]

Thanks, hedgey, and that's why I stress getting things done, now. That way the funeral director won't suck the family dry. His wife wanted to know what casket was proper. I advised her the cheapest one, as he was being cremated and most of the casket was covered by the US flag. Besides he'd have been really p*ssed if he knew you wasted a bunch of money, on a fancy casket, only to burn it. If your loved ones don't know what you wanted, they run the chance of being shamed into expenses they can't afford, out of guilt. The best thing to do is leave some kind of death instructions, in a letter and sign it. You can have it notarized, if you want, so it takes the responsibility off you, when a family member bitches about something. Death brings out the worst in people, sometimes. jmo

pr

Edited May 16, 2011 by Philip Rogers

[Berta]

He doesnt even need a casket- at least not here in NY.

The cremains are put into a steel type box for services and burial.

I asked the undertaker if some ashes could be given to me as Rod wanted some of them cast onto the farm.

He gave me about 2 cups of ashes. Some were put on the farm and the rest are in my bedroom in a small urn.

The price of caskets is outrageous!

." If your loved ones don't know what you wanted, they run the chance of being shamed into expenses they can't afford, out of guilt. The best thing to do is leave some kind of death instructions, in a letter and sign it. You can have it notarized, if you want, so it takes the responsibility off you, when a family member bitches about something. Death brings out the worst in people, sometimes. jmo"

SO TRUE Philip -Great advice for all here.

[Chuck75]

I have always had reservations about current veterans funerals with or without military honors.

It's been many years since I was on a funeral detail.

Between then and now.

Taps actually played by a member of the military that knew how, vs an often poor sounding recording.

A member of the military in attendance until the casket was lowered into the grave, thus verifying the actual location, and time, etc.,

vs leaving the casket unattended on a bier, and actually buried at the cemetery's convenience.

Rifle salute according to rank vs none.

Caskets, etc.

Paper caskets are appropriate when remains are to be cremated. They have a very good appearance, are solid, and appropriate.

Instead, some areas used reusable caskets that were required by law.

Edited May 16, 2011 by Chuck75