Jump to content
  • Latest Donations

  • Advertisemnt

  • 14 Questions about VA Disability Compensation Benefits Claims

    questions-001@3x.png

    When a Veteran starts considering whether or not to file a VA Disability Claim, there are a lot of questions that he or she tends to ask. Over the last 10 years, the following are the 14 most common basic questions I am asked about ...
    Continue Reading
     
  • Ads

  • Most Common VA Disabilities Claimed for Compensation:   

    tinnitus-005.pngptsd-005.pnglumbosacral-005.pngscars-005.pnglimitation-flexion-knee-005.pngdiabetes-005.pnglimitation-motion-ankle-005.pngparalysis-005.pngdegenerative-arthitis-spine-005.pngtbi-traumatic-brain-injury-005.png

  • Advertisemnt

  • Advertisemnt

  • Ads

  • Can a 100 percent Disabled Veteran Work and Earn an Income?

    employment 2.jpeg

    You’ve just been rated 100% disabled by the Veterans Affairs. After the excitement of finally having the rating you deserve wears off, you start asking questions. One of the first questions that you might ask is this: It’s a legitimate question – rare is the Veteran that finds themselves sitting on the couch eating bon-bons … Continue reading

Sponsored Ads

  • Available Subscriptions

  • Donation Box

    Please donate to support the community.
    We appreciate all donations!
  • Searches Community Forums, Blog and more

  • 0
Sign in to follow this  
hedgey

Please Help Me Get My Dh Started With His Claim

Question

My poor DH. He's in a tail-spin, and I want to grab hold of him but it's scary.

I've said before, he wants to file a claim for PTSD. He needs to file a claim. He should file a claim. His VA therapist is urging him to do it, because he thinks it might help a bit. He has the PTSD dx from his VA psychiatrist, and his therapist has another VA psychiatrist on deck to start seeing him soon (old psychiatrist p'o'd DH, DH kinda scared him, guess it was good in the end). VA therapist has said that new psychiatrist will certainly connect the PTSD to his in-service trauma.

Got SMR's, got C-file. From my skimming through the SMRs, an un-trained sloth could connect the dots.

So what's the problem? DH is stuck. The SMR's are there, the forms are there, all he needs to do is look through the SMR's with me to make sure we get the dates & places right, and then I will help him write his claim. But he's stuck. Everytime we're supposed to do it, something comes up. He has to cut the grass. Take a shower. Fix the weed-whacker. Watch TV.

I understand. Believe me, I understand that he's stuck and that he's afraid to look back and read those records. I sure as shoe-polish was terrified, and my hand wouldn't move to open the packet. But I got torqued, angry, piqued. He helped me so much, sat next to me and held me, etc.

But when he gets fidgety, then angry, get out of the way or get stomped. I know he can't help this, but what can I do? I won't lie, the idea of going through his records, c-file, writing up a claim, is overwhelming to me, too. I feel suffocated when I think about it. I take a lorazepam and then it doesn't seem so urgent anymore.

He's not been prescribed a good calmer yet. Old psychiatrist prescribed one that made him feel dopey and out of control. Psych refused to change med, so DH won't see old psych and won't take med. See my other post about the Dr.

But any suggestions on how to help DH get going with this? Thanks to all...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Recommended Posts

Thanks for the help/replies. T-bird, I think having him "only do this for xx minutes, okay?" might be a good method. There's a lot of the basic form filling that can be done by me, even on the computer. Looking through the files and writing up the statements is where he gets stressed and goes into flight mode. I've looked at some of his SMR's and I understand.

It seems that before we call anyone for help, we need to know what we have to work with. Proving the stressor happened is easy, it's right in his SMR's, black & white. Connecting it to his present state, that might be more murky, but his therapist & the VA psychiatrist wrote in his notes that his PTSD is from his accident in service.

Showing how it affects his present life? Spend 10 minutes with him... seriously.

But that will be hard for me, too. To write down as his wife what living with him is like, and frankly it's not always easy (but he puts up with me, and I thank God every day for him sticking by me).

The therapist he has is super supportive. He talked to him about this on Friday and the therapist told him it was perfectly normal to feel this way when PTSD is the monster you're wrestling. He says many vets get stuck staring at the SMR or C-file folder, and put it off for ages or even altogether.

We'll get through this.

Thank you all for your support. I wish I could paste a piece of what I feel right here, it's a warm grateful feeling and it would be cool if I could share it better than with just words.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ad

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Ads

  • Ad

  • Latest News
  • Our picks

    • SHOW YOUR SUPPORT: Ad Free Subscriptions to the Forum available
      Ad free subscriptions are available for the forum. Subscriptions give you the forums ad free and help support the forum and site. Monthly $5 Annually $50 https://community.hadit.com/subscriptions/

      Every bit helps - Thank you.

       
      • 0 replies
    • Choosing a VA Disability Attorney Means Learning What Questions to Ask
      Choosing a VA Disability Attorney Means Learning What Questions to Ask. Chris Attig - Veterans Law Blog 

      <br style="color:#000000; text-align:start">How to Hire an Attorney For Your VA Claim or Appeal Free Guidebook available on the Veterans Law Blog

      I got an email the other day from a Veteran.  It had 2 or 3 sentences about his claim, and then closed at the end: “Please call me. So-and-so told me you were the best and I want your help.”

      While I appreciate the compliments, I shudder a little at emails like this.  For 2 reasons.

      First, I get a lot of emails like this.  And while I diligently represent my clients – I often tell them we will pursue their claim until we have no more appeals or until we win – I am most assuredly not the best.

      There are a LOT of damn good VA Disability attorneys out there.  (Most, if not all, of the best are members of the National Organization of Veterans Advocates…read about one of them, here)

      Second, I don’t want Veterans to choose their attorney based on who their friend thought was the best.  I want Veterans to choose the VA Disability attorney who is BEST for their case.

      In some situations, that may be the Attig Law Firm.

      But it may also be be Hill and Ponton, or Chisholm-Kilpatrick, or Bergman Moore.  Or any one of the dozens of other attorneys who have made the representation of Veterans their professional life’s work.

      There are hundreds of attorneys that are out there representing Veterans, and I’m here to tell you that who is best for your friend’s case may not be the best for your case.

      How do you Find the Best VA Disability Attorney for your Claim?

      First, you have to answer the question: do you NEED an attorney?

      Some of you don’t...
      • 1 reply
    • VA Emergency Medical Care
      VA Emergency Medical Care
      • 3 replies
    • Veterans Appeals Improvement and Modernization Act
      Veterans Appeals Improvement and Modernization Act
      • 1 reply
    • Thanks Berta for your help. I did receive my 100% today for my IU claim on 6/20/2018. It only took 64 days to complete and it is p&t. Thanks for your words of wisdom. 
×

Important Information

{terms] and Guidelines