ptsd Can't Find A Good Enough Hobby

[midnight340]

My claim just moved to Review of Evidence on ebenefits... Wichita, KS VARO (considered one of the black holes from what I hear) The ebenefits estimated time is "november 2012 to august 2013." Ain't that a specific "estimation"?!!!

My VSO has told me 4-6 months, but I am afraid to believe that.

I was given "70% PTSD non-SC" and awarded a pension as a result of my first claim. I sent good evidence to prove SC so it shouldn't be too complicated to take another look at it. But I hear the piles of claims are huge.

I keep trying to find a good enough hobby to take my mind off it, but it's tough!!! I actually do have things I like to do, but also have obsessive/compulsive tendencies along with the ptsd so it is very hard to not think about my claim constantly.

I am just posting as I needed to express this somewhere. My family got very tired of all the details in making the first claim, gathering evidence, etc. along with PTSD group attendance and all. So I have been trying to protect them and keeping everything to myself.

[retiredat44]

i Know it's not healthy, but thinking of ways to kick their asses.. like the coyote does with the road runner.. takes a few minutes...

in reality there is no diversion when you are suffering and sick, in pain, circling the drain.. if you are not suffering and can actually do things, enjoy things,,, etc... then there must be something..

the only diversion I get is when i am asleep.. and even then the dreams/nightmares keep me aware something is screwed up..

I actually had a dream 2 days ago, that I needed rest, I went into a backyard with grass pulled the grass back, layed down, and pulled the grass back over me like a blanket.. no,, I am not making a joke,, I really had this dream..... after awhile 2 people walked by,, and I tried to raise my hand but I couldn't...I do play combat flight sims,,, WWII, Modern, Helo,s etc..

=====

IL-2 1946, IL_2 Cliffs of Dover, DCS: series: Ka-50 Black Shark, A10-C, P-51D, and more... we use Team Speak 3 to communicate.. with a headset and mic..

I have a fight stick and pedals.. my rig is just barely enough to fly a decent flight, but really is getting old, and need more power... I can't afford a newer computer...

we fly with and against other squadrons in multiplayer...

Edited May 26, 2012 by retiredat44

[Commander Bob]

I have been there... Letting go of it works... If just for that episode.

I know it's difficult...(Needing much effort or skill to accomplish, deal with, or understand.)

Edited May 26, 2012 by Commander Bob

[Chuck75]

I sort of returned to an old hobby that I was into decades ago. RC airplanes!

There are RC planes, helicopters, boats, and cars available in anything from the classic wood kits

to 90-95% built.

It isn't cheap, But, it doesn't have to be expensive either!

Since I don't have to pay out a thousand or so each month for medical insurance, I went for it!

[john999]

Don't imagine that just winning your claim is going to be enough. You have to find it in yourself to find a reason to keep living. I don't have a great answer except I want my wife to collect with no complications. When I had a job and pretty good health I had structure. Now it is just day to day. Nobody can tell me how to use my time. I am the one who has to find that answer. I know that if I am doing something that really interests me the pain fades. I don't believe in the Sweet Hereafter, so this is it.

John

[midnight340]

That's the challenge isn't it, trying to find a way to structure your time. I get a little social security and a bit of pension and I am just trying to lay low most days. That keeps the budget in line, but doesn't keep me very interested. And trying to come up with things to do that I can afford is tough.

I guess what I do best just "messing around" or "tinkering" in the shop. I am going to try to come up with more projects. Does me good to have no one else around, no pressure, play some music, and work with my hands a little. Except for my wife I pretty much keep to myself.

Every time I get out there in the world I'm thinking I can do it fine, then a little exposure to other people, traffic, too much activity, and I get really over-loaded and anxious. Then things don't go well.

Thanks for the thoughts about all this...

[JON]

Harbor Freight has a pretty good electric radio controlled speedboat. Goes about 25 mph. Easy parts replacement. Cost: around $50.00. Watch for a Harbor Freight coupon that comes out once in a while for 20% off any item in the store and you're down to $40.00. I take it to the lake and get lots of comments. Little kids love it. They ask you all kinds of questions. Gets your mind off things for a while.