ptsd Non-Combat Ptsd Mdd Psychotic Features Greenramp

[82airborne]

Sorry

Edited January 30, 2013 by 82airborne

[Berta]

"I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO CHECK MYSELF IN THE HOSPITAL OR WAIT TILL
TOMORROW I GOT PAIN MANAGEMENT ORIENTATION TOMORROW. HOW THE HELL DID I
GET TO WHERE IM AT."

Never hesitate to do something when this happens.....it could be a side affect from some med..........maybe you should get to an ER right away........

We are all Mad......... dont allow anger to control you.....

call 1-800-273-8255 too if you feel you need to talk this out....

[82airborne]

Thanx Berta I've calmed down and I called the hospital. I'm waiting for my psych doctor to call me. I'm in my room just watching tv. I just had a breakdown. Thank you so much for you concern.

[82airborne]

Wow last night was my worse night ever on this earth. I'm glad I had a place to vent this out. I'm now feeling a little guilty but this forum is what ths stuff is all about I guess. Wow o wow. I'm still waiting for my psych doc to call. I probably need to switch meds or something. So for now I'm back of meds. I can't take these no longer. I will only go to doctor appointments for now. No outside enjoyment for me. I feel a lot better right now besides stomach cramps and intense back pain. Thanx again for allowing me a place here to get this out. Nobody else understands what I'm going through and what I went through last night.

[Berta]

You sure are on the Right Road.......and willing to do what you need to do...........

things will be OK..................I am sure of that.

[82airborne]

Thanx. Yeah I just want to get help. I just wish I knew what was going on years ago. I hate that whats going on with me has went this far. If I only knew that my anger and everything else would get this bad. IF I would have stayed in the Army they was sending me to the physiologist I didn't know. I would've been getting help by now. Oh well I guess I can't cry over spilled milk. I will just hold myself down and go to counseling. Till I get right. I will not allow myself out in the world until I really know that I can control my anger.

[82airborne]

Well tomorrow is a new day. I talked to my psych assistance. They told me whenever I stop taking meds. Call them and that's what I neglected to do. I stopped the nightmare PILLZ and the go to sleep pill and just took the Wellbutrin. Maybe they ad it alanced where all of them work together. I don't know. Well tomorrow I will be off meds until they set me up another appointment. I still have stomach cramps and my head is ringing extra loud and my back is hurting bad. But that's not what got me my dreams where so emotional it had me depressed out of control. It seems like whatever is happening is messing with my emotional side. Imagine if I had to go to work. I would not have lasted today. Man o man. Talking about flipping out. When I was up pacing at about 4 am. About 5:30 my girl came around the corner fast and I jumped into a fight stands. Ready to attack. Then I verbally yelled at her she got mad cause she could smell my cigarette from the back door. She had a attitude on her face and that's what set me off verbally. I would never hit a Women. Never in life. But all I could do is yell curse and snot at the nose like a mad bull and cry angry tears. I wrote this so if anybody out there is going through whatever I'm going thru can know if you ride the violent spell out it will go away in hours maybe. As the mourning came I grew calmer and calmer. Tomorrow it's pain management. Let's see how that works out.