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peacecindia

C&p Exam: Occupational And Social Functioning

Question

My actual Occupational & Social Functioning:

>I did not tell the c&p examiner that I was psycho about my daughter bringing a guy

into my house in the night and I felt the only recourse I had was to remove my daughter's bed from her room and put it behind the garage, because she had the attitude she could do whatever she wants to do...

>I didn't tell the c&p examiner that I really need sleeping pills, because I live with

a guy I don't like so I go to bed at 4-5 am to avoid him and only go to bed when I can't stay awake.

>I didn't tell the examiner I hate my neighbors for having a rooster that crows when I'm getting ready for bed and about the camp fires the neighbors have when they smoke their weed outside. The smell of skunk and trash smoke comes in my house and it makes me want to cook the rooster and set fire to my neighbors house.

> I don't answer the phone and make sure the doors are locked and windows are too, I'd say

I'm pretty damn hypervigilant. Hypervigilance exhausts me. The c&p conversation never went here.

>If I told the examiner I feel homicidal when this guy who lives with me sneaks around and puts his arms

around my waist as if we are a happy couple and nothing's wrong...I'd probably get a conditional VA check with a fidiciuary.

So, the c&p examiner determined that I'm occupationally and socially impaired at the 50% level. My gaf was 46 I think. My VA therapist disagrees with the c&p examiner's determination.

It's hard to try to be sane and not seem too suicidal or too homicidal and still avoid someone mistaking you as a troublemaker or a faker at a c&p exam.

Now comes the hard part of knowing what to do next...how is my lawyer going to handle my VA therapist

saying that the c&p examiner got it wrong.

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My advice is to read over the C and P yourself. The criticaly important thing is not so much if the doc knew all those things, but did you get a nexus? Since you are at 50 % I will assume you are seeking an increase and already have your nexus.

You dont want to either over exaggerate or under exaggerate your symptoms. Most Vets advocates recommend you tell your C and P about your worst day. If things went well yesterday at your daughters birthday party, then tell the examiner how bad things went on Saturday.

If your C and P exam is very negative and does not represent your actual condition well, then you can seek:

1. Another VA docs opinion, and tell him what you told us.

2 In IMO or an IME

The last two you will likely have to pay for. However, if your exam is very negative, you probably are not going to get your increase without a good strong nexus and accurate symptom reporting by the doc. You can hardly blame the doc for not reporting accurately your symptoms if you did not tell him of them.

The C and P exam is over, and you just have to move on. If you were not as forthcoming with your symptoms, then when you go to the next one, write them down so you dont forget.

Lots of time the examiner "gets" you at "How are you?" They recommend you think about that answer and not just respond the classic "Fine". Its ok to respond "fine" to the grocery clerk greetings, because we often have a habit of minimizing our symptoms because we dont want to bore others with our health issues.

A better answer to the C and P examiner's question may be (but always be truthfull, this is just an example):

"I am as good as can be under the circumstances. On Saturday, the police were called, again, for domestic violence. Monday, I had a panic attack and wanted someone to take me to the hospital but was afraid to drive myself, so I took 2 atavans and zoned out." etc, etc. You dont have to tell them about your "good" day, on Thursday, when you went bowling with your daughter and met a new cute guy, who asked you out, etc. Just tell the worst day.

Edited by broncovet

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Bronco those are words of wisdom and I said, 'I'm stressed' when the c&p examiner

asked me how I am.

I don't even wanna think about when I have to ask for an increase and go back to a c&p exam.

I'm service connected at 50% according to the letter that came a few days ago.

It's a coincidence that I had a mental health appt on the same day as receiving the letter.

I took it with me to show the counselor. The VA psychologist looked at the connection letter and also read

the c&p report on his computer. He said the c&p examiner got it wrong under the occupational & social area.

He said she should have checked another box.

So now what do I do? Request another c&p exam?

My attorney hasn't received a copy of the c&p exam or the service connection letter.

All this happened very fast like within a week and a half.

If I get another c&p exam, I will go into detail about my worst days.

Thank you Bronco for reading the message through and commenting. It does seem like maybe I want

an increase and I guess I do...I'd like to get an increase before VA closes my case like they said they are.

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Most assuredly, if you feel homicidal thoughts toward this guy, then you should tell the doc about it. SI/HI are exclusively in the 70 and 100 percent rating categories, and are indeed a red flag for help.

I have no idea why you are feeling homicidal to this man...perhaps he deserves it, but in that case you have some issues as to why you dont "get out" of that relationship. Sure, it may be for economic reasons, but I it is probably not wise to exchange your safety, or the safety of others for money. You have not done anything where you "deserve" a man who is violent to you. On the other hand, if he is trying and not violent to you, but says things that hurt you, then forgiveness is likely in order. Sometimes I think women have too high of expections in a relationship. They expect men to react the way they would, and we dont. We respond the way men do, and men are not good at relationships! Women have a PHd in them, and men are in kindergarten. We fix cars, fix homes, follow football, etc. etc, and are very handy but expect you to fix relationships. Those things are something you just cant fix, when its broken you go get a new one.

Personally, I would draw the line between "talking" and "doing". In other words, if he said some very hurtful words to you, then you should work on forgiving him. Many people, especially men, make relationship mistakes that hurt their partner. On the other hand, if he gets drunk every day and uses you for a punching bag, then you need to do some serious and quick boogieing. Dont stay under those circumstances.

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I apologize for dramatizing.

I'm lying if I say I want to kill the guy who lives with me.

In reality, I just wish he'd move out or get his own place and leave me alone.

It's an economic decision to live together, but he was homeless not me and yes, we do have

some sick dynamics going on.

I'm agoraphobic. He uses my vehicle. He lives in my house. He gets his mail here. He has tantrums.

He stonewalls emotionally. He makes that look on his face when it comes down to who is 'crazy'.

The man has never laid a hand on me.

He gaslights instead.

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Peacecindia

Wow is all I can say and great input from bronco as always. My philosophy in life is I love my children but I love me more. I wish not to bury any of them but could kill all of them on a given day. LOL figuratively speaking of course. Loving you is most important because if you don't others will climb on that wagon in a heartbeat. Relationships are what they are at times but if you're giving everything then what kind of relationship is it? One with only you being in it is what I get. I don't know if you're connected with a VetCenter, that would be my suggestion unless your Dr at the VA is advocating an increase. However, at the VetCenter you can get more personalized care and some good information, also more frequent. Take care of yourself and find PEACE.

God Bless

Good Luck

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