ptsd Question For Those In Long-Term Treatment For Ptsd

[2E151]

Question for those of you who've been fighting PTSD for a while now and are still seeking treatment: I've been in treatment since February of last year; the first nine months was with the OIF/OEF clinic basically zeroing in on my diagnosis and just going over coping mechanisms.

Last fall they moved me over to the mental health unit. I went to the in-processing class and they basically gave us a menu of what kind of treatment we wanted.

Well I got put into the Cognitive Processing Therapy, which to make a long story short made my symptoms worse. I’ve told everyone who will listen at the VA that I’m eager to get treatment, but going to see a psychologist who wanted me to go over my stressor in graphic detail every week definitely wasn’t helping me.

My wife eventually had me withdraw from it because my deterioration was scaring her.

So I went back and essential got the same menu. About 10 options, all eight to 12 week sessions; I ended up picking a group one that will essentially help you cope with your diagnosis and how it affects your life.

I know the VA is trying to tout a lot of these as cures for PTSD; I’ve looked up CPT and the VA pretty much considers it a cure if you complete all 12 weeks.

For those who have been in treatment for years, does the VA keeping trying to cycle you through this same menu? I’ve heard members mention that they’ve been going to group for years, or seeing the same psychologist every week for years, but all I’m seeing is a express lane for a quick cure.

I just need someone to talk to right now. This isn’t like being scared of heights or elevators, what happened to me is deeply personal and I don’t mind coping with the emotions, but I’m not at a stage where I’m ready for someone to bring it to the surface and pick it apart every week. I’m hoping that this group will help me, but I’m also sacred of being pushed back into one of the more abrasive treatments once this is done.

[mrs rockman (widow of vet)]

2E151,

I have been trying to respond to your posts and for some reason it has been so hard for me to put it down in words. I did want to let you know just how it did affect David.

First of all, he was at his local CBOC for an appointment and was having a particular "bad" day. He told the front desk that he needed to talk to a Mental Health person that day. As soon as he got out, they sent him back and he was there 1 1/2 hours. Since he was still working, he could not do the 6 week in house stay, which she wanted him to do.

He then began a 12 week CPT with her. I remember him coming home with these weekly sheets he had to fill out. I could see the pain in his eyes and his body language told it all.

For one of the weeks he had to write down his stresors from Nam. He wrote 10 pages worth and he was so proud of himself! She was surprised at the 10 pages and then said that most people only write 3 pages worth. THEN.. she said to go home and write it in more detail. It was like a big slap in the face..it really made him sink way down. He went through the entire 12 weeks and I can say that he went through pure Hell!!!

He thought that he had to do all 12 weeks before you filed for PTSD. All the CPT did for him was to "dig up everything", magniify things,put him through hell, and just make his already bad PTSD even worse. He would tell me that all the B.tch did was to open up everything, leave things open and did not show him how to have some type of closure and how to deal with it from then on. The wounds now were open and so very raw. At this point we had been married for 24 years and had known each other for 27 years, and I had never seen him in this bad of shape before, My Gosh, it took him 40 years to come to terms that he needed help and to admiit he had PTSD, ...and this is what he gets!! HELL HELL AND MORE HELL!!!

To top things off, when he went in for the PTSD C& P, the psychiatrist basically said that he wasted his time with the 12 week therapy and he should have just forgot that step and gone straight to filing the claim and then go for the C& P!! Looking back we should have gone and filed the claim, but we didn't.

Now for the VET Center....I CANNOT TELL YOU ENOUGH GOOD THINGS ABOUT THEM!! I simply love the Vet Center and wished we had gone earlier!

He started going to their weekly group meetings and got more valuable help there. No, There is NO CURE for PTSD, but by going to weekly meetings, they learn the tools to be able to try and manage their PTSD and help them learn about the different stressors. By being able to recognize your stressors, you can slowly learn how to cope with things better.

Yes, there were weeks when he said that he did not want to go, but then said that he needed to go anyways. You find out you are not alone and can share with the other people in your group. You could also have one on one sessions with the counselor.

At our weekly meetings, we had three groups. It may not be like this everywhere.

First, the first group of guys went in. Then, after that, the spouses & family etc. of the veteran went in, then the second group of guys went in. It used to be just one group, but the group got so large, it had to be split up. I have really learned so much by going to the support group. It has helped me understand a great deal about PTSD.

You know, for some, group therapy is best and for others, one-on-one is best..maybe both. You have to do what works for you best.

Now..I hope that I did not mess up too much about the CPT etc. Since I am not the veteran, I cannot see things the way that you all do, only the way I saw it as a spouse. If I had put down something that is totally off base, just let me know.

Celia, Mrs. R

[2E151]

Celia;

Thank you so much for sharing this with me, it really means a lot. I finally feel like I’m not the quitter the psychologist made me out to be. Every day is a struggle for me; I take life one hour at a time. So much of what you said about the CPT training hits deep, it’s probably the worst thing that's happened to me since I was in-country. My condition has been steadily sliding downward since 2010, but it’s like this just added fuel to the fire. I’ve probably seen a bigger decline in my health since I started CPT late last year than in the previous 3 years. And I only lasted 4 sessions.

"I remember him coming home with these weekly sheets he had to fill out. I could see the pain in his eyes and his body language told it all. For one of the weeks he had to write down his stressors from Nam. He wrote 10 pages worth and he was so proud of himself! She was surprised at the 10 pages and then said that most people only write 3 pages worth. THEN.. she said to go home and write it in more detail. It was like a big slap in the face..it really made him sink way down."

That is exactly, how it went down. Now that I've heard this from you, I now know that no matter how much you initially write they send you home to write it in "more graphic detail" (Term she used). I wrote 6 hand written pages, and the 7 days I spent writing I spent reliving my time in Mosul. Those 6 pages were the hardest thing I've ever written. And they didn't satisfy her.

My wife said I’d go to my session, come home in worse shape, go to work, and come home at night a wreck. She said she could literally feel the oppressiveness like a weight over the house. After I came home basically in tears from the psychologist telling me to rewrite my paper “in more graphic details” my wife basically told me not to go back until I found another form of treatment. I was in such bad shape that my wife suggested I that go in-patient.

“All the CPT did for him was to "dig up everything", magnify things, put him through hell, and just make his already bad PTSD even worse. He would tell me that all the B.tch did was to open up everything, leave things open and did not show him how to have some type of closure and how to deal with it from then on. The wounds now were open and so very raw.”

Exactly. Even though I did 4 sessions, I feel so much worse off than I did before. I feel like I've reached the bottom of the barrel..

I'll be calling the Vet Center today.

[mrs rockman (widow of vet)]

2E151;

You are most welcome and I will be glad to help you anyway that I can. I am not an expert at this, but I can tell you how things were for the two of us.

"That is exactly, how it went down. Now that I've heard this from you, I now know that no matter how much you initially write they send you home to write it in "more graphic detail" (Term she used). I wrote 6 hand written pages, and the 7 days I spent writing I spent reliving my time in Mosul. Those 6 pages were the hardest thing I've ever written. And they didn't satisfy her."

Yes, everytime that David had to write down all of his stressors and go again down 'Memory Lane", the more "distant" he became and just wanted to completely give up on everything. Whatever he wrote down, there was always a demand for more more and then more. A veteran can only be pushed so far without getting to that breaking point.

"My wife said I’d go to my session, come home in worse shape, go to work, and come home at night a wreck. She said she could literally feel the oppressiveness like a weight over the house. After I came home basically in tears from the psychologist telling me to rewrite my paper “in more graphic details” my wife basically told me not to go back until I found another form of treatment. I was in such bad shape that my wife suggested I that go in-patient."

David, always seemed more aggitated after his session with her and I just learned that I needed to give him some space, back off, and let him talk when he felt like it. His body language and his facial expressions told me whether or not he would be in a mood to carry on any type of conversation or not.

"Exactly. Even though I did 4 sessions, I feel so much worse off than I did before. I feel like I've reached the bottom of the barrel..

I'll be calling the Vet Center today."

I am so glad that you are calling the Vet Center and truthfully I believe that you will be able to seek the help that you need and desire. To be honest, I do not know what David would have done if he had not gone to the Vet Center. He was also at the "bottom of the Barrel" , as you say. With the help of the Vet Center, he was able to begin to look up at the top of the barrel and see a way out. With all of his chronic health conditions, the PTSD just made those conditions worse!

Just let us know how things are going for you and I sincerely wish you much success!!

Celia

[2E151]

I called the Vet Center this morning, and I'm going down this afternoon to meet the Team Lead.

[mrs rockman (widow of vet)]

Fantastic and I am so glad that you are taking this step forward. Let us know.

I called the Vet Center this morning, and I'm going down this afternoon to meet the Team Lead.

[Berta]

This is GREAT. Celia thank you for helping this vet!

I was a vet center volunteer and I know how good the vet centers can be.

It is a non -judgemental comfort zone for so many vets. Vet centers are under auspices of VA, but the control stops there.

I hope you get a great Team Leader. Our team leader had PTSD himself.None of the vet PTSD group vets had VA shrinks who had PTSD.

Right there was a factor in favor of the vet center PTSD groups .. Everyone there understood PTSD because they had it too.