ptsd Dismissing Every One Around Me

[maset22]

I find myself short and don't want to tolarate BS. Including Mom's, and friends, my solution is to cut them out of my life, and vice versa. My voice raises gradually, but.I am not angry, and my juices start flowing, just like a mission. How I feel? Relieved, blood pressure down couple points, but I really don't feel bad. I love my Mom but we are opposite, she is passive aggressive, and I still am like the military. Now I have several friends we speake on the phone, but the are all military. Even thou I cut a military out also.

What's wrong with me? Am I getting more mental from my PTSD like don't care, I say that a lot, " it does not matter " now I am going to have my Dad disappointed in me, another reason to cut him out. I just don't care, suicidal is not in my doing due to my faith, but ridding fast living on the edge is ok.

I am still going throught treatment for a full.stomack and partial spleen removal. The chemo and radiation is still in me. What is wrong with me? You guys know, you have done countless counseling in your time. Help me. I am not going back to V.A.

[aggie54]

Maset, Sorry to hear that you are having so many health problems along with family issues. One thing for sure is that I know you are a survivor, and I know with the faith you have, is all that's needed to get through these difficult times.

I've been there before my friend. I was injured while in the Military where I lost my left eye sight, plus so many other medical problems, after being in the Military well over 25 years I felt that my life was over and coming to an end,

but, with the help of my wife, and me finding help from doctors all over, I knew that my life would change for the better. Well after struggling for over 3 years I found that my problems were only temporary, and thank God and many prayers

later my life did change, of course I went to the VA and attended group counseling which was hard for me, because the other veterans had different issues, and a lot were just clowns, and I couldn't handle it, so I stop going. Shortly after I

enrolled in college and began to meet new friends that didn't know my military pass. Now, I been there going on three years, of course I still take all my medications, but I found a way to deal with my issues, and I didn't make it

obvious to my new friends that I suffered from my pass military issues. maset, all I can say buddy is this, if you feel that the VA is not helping you or you just don't feel comfortable with them, go out and seek another health provider and get

the help you need. Remember this my friend, there were times while in the military when we had to make decisions without any other involved because we felt that it was our choice to make, so make it my friend, and do it for you, not

anyone else. Feel free to get back to many with any other questions you may have, and may the lord bless you with the health and peace of mind that you deserve. Thank you for your service to our beloved country.

[Navy04]

Maset,

I was medically retired in February and I am the same as you, and also suffer from PTSD among other things. I cut everybody out except my best friend of 25 years who has Parkinsons and my wife and kids. They are all I need in my life. I forgot I love my dog too.

[Loose Cannon]

aggie made so many good points...not sure what to add to his advice but I'll say this: I totally relate to how you feel 'cause I suffer from PTSD and TBI too. I go to monthly meetings with other vets who have PTSD and eveyone has been through what the VA refers to as CPT (Cognitive Processing Therapy). I'll be honest with you, there have been days when it's been a struggle to get in the car and go but I always feel better after attending. Sometimes it's just nice to know others are experiencing the same thoughts and feelings...plus, I always learn "something" from my fellow brothers. If nothing else, you are adding/creating a paper trail that can only help you should the VA ever try to reduce your compensation. Our military experiences in combat affect us in so many ways. Withdrawing and not wanting to be around family members is how we cope. Like you, I often have a short fuse and find it less confrontational to be around military people so that's what I do and it's how I cope (one of the ways!).

So I hope you will continue to seek counseling with your VA doctors, LCSW, or whomever you feel most comfortable around. I am about 30 miles from you in Fayetteville. If you ever feel well enough to hang out and do some fishing or just to BS about things, feel free to contact me. We could sit around and swap "mom stories"...God knows, I've got some good ones...LOL! Hang in there maset...

LC

[82airborne]

I find myself short and don't want to tolarate BS. Including Mom's, and friends, my solution is to cut them out of my life, and vice versa. My voice raises gradually, but.I am not angry, and my juices start flowing, just like a mission. How I feel? Relieved, blood pressure down couple points, but I really don't feel bad. I love my Mom but we are opposite, she is passive aggressive, and I still am like the military. Now I have several friends we speake on the phone, but the are all military. Even thou I cut a military out also.

What's wrong with me? Am I getting more mental from my PTSD like don't care, I say that a lot, " it does not matter " now I am going to have my Dad disappointed in me, another reason to cut him out. I just don't care, suicidal is not in my doing due to my faith, but ridding fast living on the edge is ok.

I am still going throught treatment for a full.stomack and partial spleen removal. The chemo and radiation is still in me. What is wrong with me? You guys know, you have done countless counseling in your time. Help me. I am not going back to V.A.

Bro I think physical disabilities can impact your mental. It could be you are sad of your medical condition and it's flaring up your mental situation. I found the more I became disable and financially hurting the more my depression hallucinations became more current. So if you come to grips with what's going on in your life your mental situation may decrease. Far as me it's been a roller coaster. One day I'm happy one day I'm violent the next day I'm sad and depressed and I will say 50% of my depression came from me being disabled and not BEIN able to do the things I use to do

[carlie]

ma,

Hang in there.

If you don't want to go to the VAMC perhaps you might want

to check out your nearest Vet Center - it's way different than the VA.

www.vetcenter.va.gov

We have a member here, goes by pr.

After getting out of the military - he crashed his motorcycle

and wound up in the hospital - really banged up bad and still has

disabilities due to that motorcycle wreck today. He was very lucky he even

survived it.

Since then he's found out that the motorcycle wreck was actually

a suicide attempt - they did not know as much back then about

mental health issues and PTSD was not even born as a diagnosis

at that time.

Maybe that ridding fast and living on the edge isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Maybe it's time to slow down and step back from the edge.

You've been around here quite a while now, so please take no offense

and just think about it.

I try to not make other's a priority in my life -

when I'm nothing more than, an option in theirs.

You deserve better - nothing is wrong with you other than you are sick

you have been injured and you need people that care and don't place

unnecessary judgements on you.

Hang in there and maybe at least check out that Vet Center.

carlie

[maset22]

Good morning to everyone the help me by responding, you all have been a blessing, thanks very much. My feelings has not change, I am more entrench now more than yesterday. It might sound like a dysfunctional family, in actuality my parents and extended family has been wonderful. Hang with me for a short while.

aggie54, You are right in so many points, things that I would say to my soldiers in this position, Carlie my best friend, you are right I have been here, and i know what to do. I will slow down, but living on the edge, is iffy. In a good way. Loose Cannon, I sure would like to fish, even thou I am a rookie. Take me up after the winter God's willing. 82Airborne, huah. One thing you all convey is to seek help. I will try the Vet center here in Fayetteville. Plus I agree. Thanks to you all.