My Anti Social Life

[82airborne]

I felt lonely without yall. You guys is my OPRAH WINFREY. I need a place to vent. So here I am. To tell YALL the truth this is the only place where I can express myself. :-)

[free_spirit_etc]

Hi Airborne!!!

(I haven't been around much, but have wondered how you are.)

And now, it's time for a commercial break ;)

[Notorious Kelly]

We're here for ya 82 - vent away!

[82airborne]

Hi Airborne!!!

(I haven't been around much, but have wondered how you are.)

And now, it's time for a commercial break ;)

I been cool going to regular visits to the shrink. I'm basically staying inside the house.

We're here for ya 82 - vent away!

Thanx. :-)

[82airborne]

Well I'm still on 80mg of Prozac 10mg of prazosin for nightmares and a bunch of other medicines for my health. I am still having nightmares pretty much every night. I haven't really been hallucinating if I wake up at night. At times I question if some of the things I see or here is actually real or not. I have been going to therapy at the va. The guy I been seeing I think he is a social worker I meet my medicine psych this June fourth. He gave me the ink blot test. He wants me to go to a group therapy. I have told him no my last meeting appeared that everybody in the class was acting like they was undercover agents or something. I have no desire to go to group therapy nothing but one on one counseling. What amazes me is how people could just strike up a conversation with a total stranger and then try to be friends. I just dont understand it. I'm just not interested in new friends I can barely trust the ones that's known me all my life yet alone somebody I just met. Goooood news I haven't had any confrontations in some months but I have isolated to a new level. Just appointments pretty much nothing more. So Prozac it has only helped me get along better with my family. I still have thoughts and desires THATS why I KNoW its best to just stay by myself most of the times. The other day before it went to sleep I just got angry for no reason at all. I needed a dose of pure pain. Ooh yeah I still have anger issues. All I TRULLY want to do is disappear into the sunset and live a quiet life. I still have hallucinations when I'm awake stuff passing in the corner of my eyes then lights at times. Ooh well I'm looking to be in peace from here on out. I hope. :-/

[82airborne]

Hello word I seen my medicine lady she added hydroxyzine to help me sleep better. Every night I have some type of nightmare. Everyday I'm nauseous and dizzy I just feel out of it most of the time. I visited my dad he said he can see a difference with the way I act but TRUTHLY I don't feel different. I just feel numb and uninterested in anything. It was some people over my dad house. All I had was violent thoughts towards my family company. So I'm pretty much still locked down at the house. I just don't understand how my mind got to where its at. I'm not stupid I just have a dark side that I cant handle. The only way I can stay out of trouble is isolation. I go to therapy every week but I don't think its nothing my psych can talk to me about that can change me. I am my family little emberassment. They don't want to come to the terms of my issues they think I'm just acting out but they don't have no idea how deep my problems is. I really only talk to my family about once a month. All I be wanting is just to be in my room all day without being bothered this is my only true place I can vent my issues is on here. It seems like nobody gives a dam they rather look down on me like IM a idiot. TRUTHLY I cant really really express my thoughts here but its good enough. Many sleepy nights I came on here and emptied my brain on here and went right back to sleep after clearing my thoughts. OOOH well its bedtime yes you guessed it I'm trying to clear my mind so one I can go to sleep and then have a good night sleep without waking up in a pool of sweat. OOOOH well goodnight YALL. May peace find its way in all our homes

[11cvolley]

Hello word I seen my medicine lady she added hydroxyzine to help me sleep better. Every night I have some type of nightmare. Everyday I'm nauseous and dizzy I just feel out of it most of the time. I visited my dad he said he can see a difference with the way I act but TRUTHLY I don't feel different. I just feel numb and uninterested in anything. It was some people over my dad house. All I had was violent thoughts towards my family company. So I'm pretty much still locked down at the house. I just don't understand how my mind got to where its at. I'm not stupid I just have a dark side that I cant handle. The only way I can stay out of trouble is isolation. I go to therapy every week but I don't think its nothing my psych can talk to me about that can change me. I am my family little emberassment. They don't want to come to the terms of my issues they think I'm just acting out but they don't have no idea how deep my problems is. I really only talk to my family about once a month. All I be wanting is just to be in my room all day without being bothered this is my only true place I can vent my issues is on here. It seems like nobody gives a dam they rather look down on me like IM a idiot. TRUTHLY I cant really really express my thoughts here but its good enough. Many sleepy nights I came on here and emptied my brain on here and went right back to sleep after clearing my thoughts. OOOH well its bedtime yes you guessed it I'm trying to clear my mind so one I can go to sleep and then have a good night sleep without waking up in a pool of sweat. OOOOH well goodnight YALL. May peace find its way in all our homes

Just remember opinions are like a-holes. Everyone has one.