ptsd C&p Exam Ptsd - Mst And Bipolar, Mdd - Secondary

[bassrunnin]

I have been reading on this forum and am really nervous about the C&P exam that I have coming up this Thursday. It seems there are so many horror stories. I was triggered with PTSD summer of 2013 and had to call VA crisis line Nov 2013 when I was thinking of killing myself because I was becoming so unraveled and didn't understand why...hadn't been in the service since 1996 and didn't even know that MST existed...it wasn't until i talked to the crisis DR follow up the next day that he said it sounded like I had PTSD. I thought PtSD was just for people who saw war. I was out of on short term disability at work in Nov 2013, Dec 2013, March 2014, and haven't been able to work since June 2014.

Since June 2014 I have been hospitalized 3 times for PTSD and Bipolar. The first hospitalization was at a VA facility and I was there only for the PTSD-MST. It wasn't until then that I found out that I could even get compensation for what happened to me in the military where I was gang raped. It took me until the end of Aug before I could even write a statement to file my claim.

I have been suicidal since then a handful of times, disassociate, blah, blah, blah. I use to work full time, working on a Grad degree, second bachelors, and have two kids. I couldn't even keep my kids at home over christmas break and had to pay for daycare because I can't handle having them at home even though I dont' work.

I even applied for the VA CWT program where they help you find a job and have a disability. They dropped me from the program saying I was "occupational maladjustment disorder". I'm concerned about the whole proof thing like many others who have posted here. I'm also afraid that they will think I am exagerating my symptoms, although my VA counselor has stated that I can't do CBT for the MST until I have sufficient coping skills which right now I do not.

OK...proof...when the rape happened I was on shore duty and the perps where stationed on a submarine. When word got out they started an investigation on the submarine but nothing ever came from it. Shortly after I was asked to move off base and couple months later had to get tested for STD and turned out they left me with a parting gift. Is this enough? What I went through was so traumatic I don't know if I can take someone telling me it didn't happen.

Second question. My VSO said that my statement should be enough since they should be able to pull records to cooberate my story. They have my VA hospitalization and treatment records since Nov 2013. Should I upload my hospital documents from the other two hospitalizations? My VSO thinks it will delay my claim and understands what a financial strain I am under now with not being able to work. What do you think? What can I expect? We are falling so far behind bills, I'm pulling my hair because I have gone from a someone to a nobody in a matter of a year. Anyhow any advice would help....thanks

[soldierfromthe80s]

I wish I could give you some advice, but I am new to this board and am just getting started in filling out my disability paper work. I do want to say that I have experienced the same thing you have, only it happened about thirty years ago. I have no idea what to expect, I do wish that I had done this sooner though. When this happened to me MST wasn't recognized of course, I am so glad that it is now.

Good luck on your claim, your recovery and God Bless !

[bassrunnin]

Well I had my C&P exam today at the VA, I'm kind of worried because they never went through any check list of symptoms or ask diagnostic questions about my PTSD. They just asked what my symptoms were and history and what happened. Is this normal?

[Mikemmlj]

I think you should upload your hospitalization records.

Forgive this rant: What is up with these VSO's telling people not to put in pertinent important information in files. Service Connection is a very important part of someone's life-especially for MST survivors-yet these VSO's tell people constantly just to wait on medical records that may be incomplete and don't tell the whole story. It's unforgiveable.

[Asteketee]

Bless your heart!! I would recommend doing what your VSO says. They usually have the experience! I have a claim going through now which is on the preparation for notification stage for PTSD from MST. If you reported it, went to the hospital for it, treatment centers, etc. Then it will all be in your records. I wouldn't worry about that. As far as the bills and not working is concerned, have you applied for Unemployability? As you know, these claims take a while to get through, and if you're like me (which you sound like you are) then you could make yourself crazy thinking about what if. Let it happen, and let your VSO do their job.

Good Luck!!

[Andyman73]

Hey, @bassrunnin,

just wanted to see how it all played out for you. I had my C&P exam 2 weeks ago, for my MST based ptsd. My memories were suppressed, so I was just f'd up with no valid reason. I, like you understood that PTSD was for combat Vets and not some "person" like me. 

I attempted suicide 7 times in 20 months. One time I got caught, talked to my section chief for 30 minutes, then the Base Chaplain for an hour... and sent packing. No MH eval, no medical eval, no follow up of any kind...you see...I didn't matter, so they didn't mind. 

So it was firmly entrenched in my mind that since I had no combat, there was no help for me. Hence the additional suicide attempts.

Anyways....rambling 

Hope you're doing okay

[soldierfromthe80s]

Andyman73, just  wishing you luck on your claim. Some of your life experiences sound like things I have endured as well. I finally got my disability for PTSD based on MST and MDD. I waited for over thirty years to even get up the nerve to apply for benefits, I was thinking that the VA would treat me like the Army did, "I didn't matter, so they didn't mind" (to quote you). Hope you are well.