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Venting Sorry


Scottyp65

Question

Just venting but hope it works out in somehow.

Neighbor's son went joined the Navy and became a medic type (sorry can't seem to spell the Navy title right). Then comes along the recent conflicts. Now he is "Home".

We, his Mom, peer friends, and myself have been trying to get him to go to the VA. He has signifigant issues since his "in the box" time. I won't go into it because many here have been through much of the same if not worse. Suffice it to say he has a full spectrum of medical concerns now.

Edited by Scottyp65 (see edit history)
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Scotty, many wars have passed and the Hospital corpsmen have stood right beside our marines. Some of the most horrific traumas occur during wartime. I watched a story of them on the military channel which shows these guys treating wounded even though they are severely wounded themselves. Many received the Medal Of Honor. I met one who was a Master Chief Petty officer during service. He received the Medal for Being wounded while attending to wounded marines disregarding his own safety. Every time there was a formal occasion, The guy actually wore the medal and it was a site to see the Officers Salute him at Quarters.

My heart goes out to that Sailor.

The VA should take care of this Young man and get him the help he deserves.

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  • HadIt.com Elder

This is a good place to vent and it does help. All you can do is put a bug in his ear if you get a chance. Don't blame Dad blame out Military and the VA they deserve it.

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Just venting but hope it works out in somehow.

Neighbor's son went joined the Navy and became a medic type (sorry can't seem to spell the Navy title right). Then comes along the recent conflicts. Now he is "Home".

We, his Mom, peer friends, and myself have been trying to get him to go to the VA. He has signifigant issues since his "in the box" time. I won't go into it because many here have been through much of the same if not worse. Suffice it to say he has a full spectrum of medical concerns now.

The rant is not with the VA, maybe a bit with the Navy per se, but mostly with his father. And I bring this forward because perhaps it is in the area where this young man is experiencing the greatest road block to his recovery and perhaps it might strike a chord with others out there reading this.

The dad is a Dud! Now that the young man is back, his oldest sone, he hasn't gone for any help becasue he has no role model that allows him to say "I neeed help."

Anyway after a very stressfull weekend his mother was able to drag him to the VA hospital here in town. When the attending Dr read his medical record the Dr broke down crying reading what this young man has been through and the medical attention received to date. He is being treated now and we all pray for his recovery each day.

This youn man's father had the nerve to say this weekend, and not having a single day of combat in his 20 years of service, that his boy wasn't in country long enough to have problems. Yet the multiple purple hearts and the fact they pulled pieces of his Marine squad out of his skin have no merit on this guy!

Sorry but doggone it guys you have to let your sons, and daughters, know it's okay to to seek some help if your hurting. If you don't and you "Cowboy Up" then your an idiot.

I am thankfull of all of you here on the board, and so too are my neighbors and the mother of this young man. Without you being here to help me, and sharing your stories I would never have been as aware of what can be done for a veteran. I wouldn't have been out there working with and persuading all my vet neighbors to work for their entitlements. So, this Mom had the courage to take her son in and get him help.

Again I am gratefull to all of you. You will never know how you touch the lives of others.

Scotty:

All i can say is Thank God for you and the young man's Mother for standing up for this young man and seeing to it that he gets some help!!

God Bless you all.

Jessie

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I sure am glad that he got some help--

I have neighbor, two tours in Iraq and he came back raising all sorts of hell-

he had changed -of course he did-who would not change from Iraq- but the family was quite unprepared for it all.

His Father in Law- a WWII vet-immediately recognised he had PTSD and came here to see what could be done.But the problem is nothing can be done until the vet realises the need for some help.I suggested he stop here to talk to me about it if he wanted too-I was former VA PTSD Combat group volunteer-

but he would not do that.I could have told him how good the VA is at helping with PTSD and how it is definitely not his fault although I knew the family was blaming him from coming home so different.On his first return he was the big hero-just waiting and hoping to go back to Iraq-on the second return he was just plain angry.

Home had changed too- it is difficult for a spouse to again take over the home duties they had before they left. Often wives learn to do so much,while the spouse is gone that the balance of family power is lost.

There kids seemed shocked at how dad started to tell them what to do and not mom.

We are 20 minutes from the local VAMC and they have a very good PTSD shrink.

This vet won't go there at all.

He went back to his former job and only if he begins to have major job problems, would it cause him (maybe) to go to the VA for help.

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Pete,

At issue, or central to it, is the father not assisting the son to get some help and in fact doing just the opposite. This youn man has been actively avoiding getting help in part because of his father. Most young adults revere their parents, wrong or right, and so when there is no model or assistance then the parent is not owning up to that responsibility. It isn't that the father has to have been through the same things or such but to at least recognize there is an issue and to assit in getting help. I know there are no perfect parents but it does say alot about a person and a society when this happens. Again we are fortunate to have forums like this to help and reach out to those who don't know how to reach back.

This young man has tried to continue his career in the Navy as a reservist and those around him, not knowing the extent of his issues have been enabling him as they thought it was his intention and desire to stay with the Navy. So it is difficult to find fault with his unit as they were trying to abide by his decisions and actions. Of course there does come a time when one has to consider the well being of the individual and to get them help regardless of the impact to a "Career".

The VA has been very supportive and are trying to get him in the system now, with treatment first and then the paperwork later. So this too is a GREAT change in the historical manner in which Vets have been treated in the past. Heck between what I read here about outher VA hospitals and RO's I feel very fortunate to be in the Omaha region. Hey if you are having a tough time where you are at now, and of course if it were feasable which I suppose for most it wouldn't be, perhaps a short stint in Omaha area might be in order. Get your paperwork done and then return without the hassle. In fact I am assisting a fellow in just about the same situation. He lived and retired here, got a job in the North West and his family and home are still here. He was so quick to get on the job and was jilted by the VA rep at the base he never filed. So now he is doing so with the knowledge of how much more efficient, yes I said efficient, the RO is here. As his home of recorde, taxes, and family reside here he can get it done.

Anyway I just wanted to make the comments before to hopefully generate discussion on yet another area of concern for the young veterans returing home. These folkes are still greatly influenced by their parents and as such these parents don't need to be going "John Wayne" with them.

Thanks for your patience

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Pete,

At issue, or central to it, is the father not assisting the son to get some help and in fact doing just the opposite. This young man has been actively avoiding getting help in part because of his father. Most young adults revere their parents, wrong or right, and so when there is no model or assistance then the parent is not owning up to that responsibility. It isn't that the father has to have been through the same things or such but to at least recognize there is an issue and to assist in getting help. I know there are no perfect parents but it does say a lot about a person and a society when this happens. Again we are fortunate to have forums like this to help and reach out to those who don't know how to reach back.

This young man has tried to continue his career in the Navy as a reservist and those around him, not knowing the extent of his issues have been enabling him as they thought it was his intention and desire to stay with the Navy. So it is difficult to find fault with his unit as they were trying to abide by his decisions and actions. Of course there does come a time when one has to consider the well being of the individual and to get them help regardless of the impact to a "Career".

The VA has been very supportive and is trying to get him in the system now, with treatment first and then the paperwork later. So this too is a GREAT change in the historical manner in which Vets have been treated in the past. Heck between what I read here about other VA hospitals and RO's I feel very fortunate to be in the Omaha region. Hey if you are having a tough time where you are at now, and of course if it were feasible which I suppose for most it wouldn't be, perhaps a short stint in Omaha area might be in order. Get your paperwork done and then return without the hassle. In fact I am assisting a fellow in just about the same situation. He lived and retired here, got a job in the North West and his family and home are still here. He was so quick to get on the job and was jilted by the VA rep at the base he never filed. So now he is doing so with the knowledge of how much more efficient, yes I said efficient, the RO is here. As his home of record, taxes, and family reside here he can get it done.

Anyway I just wanted to make the comments before to hopefully generate discussion on yet another area of concern for the young veterans returning home. These folks are still greatly influenced by their parents and as such these parents don't need to be going "John Wayne" with them.

Thanks for your patience

Edited by Scottyp65 (see edit history)
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Guest terrysturgis

Scotty, If I were you I would not be too hard on the father as him not being a Veteran he has no idea what his son is going through. I am just the opposite, my father was a WWII airborne and he called my service in Viet Nam "the Boy Scouts". He was 100% for what the VA at the time called "Nervous Disorder" now a days known as PTSD. We never talked about our service with each other till the movie Saving Private Ryan came out. I asked him "so like where were you on D-Day?". He said "where the F___ do you think I was". No further conversation.

With the help of our family here on Hadit I reach out to Veterans every chance I get. You are right that the knowledge shared here is a great help for us to assist other Veterans receive the benifits they have earned. I have a friend that is having major problems and I tried to help him when he was in trouble with the law but he is resisting all help. Lead a horse to water, etc. Can't help if he does not want to be helped. I hope that your neighbor gets the help he deserves.

I appreciate your efforts to help neighbors son. Trying to help Veterans, meaning Veterans of all wars, is what I look at as my job. THANKS! Terry Sturgis

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The Terrys

I knew something was wrong with me also when I got out in 1971. I went to the VA and I am glad I did because that opened the door for my 100% today. The VA did not help me, but at least I got service connected by filing within a year. I did it partly because my father had filed for a disability when he got out and even though is was peanuts it was something and he kept the G.I. life insurance which paid big dividends since he died at 43 and was a WWII vet. I never got to talk to my father about WWII. I know he got shook up from being in bombardments, but he got his honorable discharge and went on about his business. I read some letters he wrote about being constantly on the move because he was with 320 Glider Regiment that was part of the 82 Airborne. I think it took a toll on him because he was not a young man when he was drafted.

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