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C And P Exam On 8 July 2015


Jaydog

Question

I have been reading some of these blogs on MST and PTSD. I have a C & P exam on 8 July 2015. I have read some that are helpful and I am just a little nervous about this process. For one I am a Male and I disclosed it last year in July 2014. It was the hardest thing I have ever told anyone and was not completely comfortable telling my therapist either, but I had to do something because my mental state was deteriorating fast. I actually pushed the whole incedent out of my mind for along time telling myself it was no big deal. I could not tell anyone because I am a Guy this does not happen to men, so i silently suffered since 1995. I now have an exam. I have been diagnosed with PTSD due to MST and depression. I suffer from sleep distubances and night sweats. My wife tells me I scream in my sleep. I have gone to a couple MST groups and found them to be helpful. I still don't like to talk about it because I am supposed to be strong, but I have so much shame and guilt from it. I have constant anxiey and have panic attacks. I just worry about it and any guidence would be helpful.....

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Hello Mark Thanks for your feedback.... I will post a redacted copy of what they sent me and read it for yourself. Maybe I am interpreting in wrong, but I don't think so.

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Welcome aboard and just go in there and be honest bud. I too have something in common with you and I am 33, and feel that it will take a long time for me to get over it, as I was a child. Thank God I have a great wife and kids. Good luck, God Bless and keep us posted.

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As long as you have Markers that the MST occurred you should be ok. The VA has dramatically changed the way it approaches MST in the past few years, especially toward men. That being said the C and P can be intense and disturbing as you recount the details of the MST. Don't hold back on showing how this has affected you.

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Thank you Navy04

Mikemmlj, Obviously I never reported and I will have to go off markers. I have read a few things on it and I believe I have some pretty clear Markers. I graduated top of my class in AIT and had to AAM's and multiple Certificates for the work I was doing. Then one day it changed and I started on a downward spiral. My work suffered and I started drinking heavily and problems ensued after that and ultimately I was discharged for medical reasons because I could not control my drinking because I was using that to cope with my depression and suicidal thought and actions and did not get much better after I got out, so I assume they are some pretty clear markers, but who knows...

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One thing that you can do if you are afraid of talking to the C&P examiner is to work with your therapist and write down the events, so that way you don't have to worry about talking about details if you don't want to. At that point they may just have a few questions. The examiners are sensitive to how these affect people and have found that they didn't ask a lot after reading my testimony. Also, when you write this make sure you do it with your therapist under their guidance if possible because it will be very triggering. Also, have your therapist read the testimony if front of you so that way you will know what to expect and can feel better about them reading it while you sit in silence. I hope this helps. Just be honest about your symptoms and you should be fine. I know how hard the process can be, but the process will bring some healing even if you don't see it quite yet...keep us posted on how it goes.

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Thanks for the Info Bassrunnun1 . I went into my ehealthyvet and read my psychiatrists notes. There is a detailed description of the assault in my medical records. Should I bring that with me to the Exam ? Just don't want to repeat everything that I have already said.

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Jaydog,

I pray for you for success at your C&P. One of my good friends suffered MST at the hands of his roommate, while at his first MOS school. Roomie slipped him a mickey and he woke up a few days later, still bleeding from the internal injuries. He is 100% P&T. I never even knew until recently, that this had happened to him. He ended up being medically retired/discharged from the Marines, due to this. In his case, it was reported since he was hospitalized for a long time due to multiple surgeries to fix him. According to evidence found at the scene, the evil monster used other "items" besides his own item. If he hadn't been checked up on by his Sgt., cuz he was no call no show, he would have bled out. I thank God He was looking out for my friend. I pray God looks out for you, too.

Semper Fi.

Andy

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That's terrible. There is some real evil out there. Fortunately for me I did not suffer the same fate at him thank god. I hope he is doing better now and wish him the best. Its not easy being a male and this happens. For so long I just tried to forget about it and at some point I succeeded, but the effects manifested it self in other way. Subconsciously I My body and Mind would not let it go.

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It's a hard thing to comprehend, that men can be victims too. I don't know why that is, since no one questions whether or not a boy may be a victim. And as a man, it's something near impossible to speak about.

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You can bring things to your exam that you think are pertinent but they often don't look at them, but you never know what might be helpful.

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If it were me, I wouldn't just bring medical notes. I would work with your therapist and write the incident as best you can with the therapist there for support. This will be triggering, but it will hold much more weight then just handing them some notes that they may not read or is already in your file. If you explain to your examiner that it is to much for you to talk about it, but worked to write down what happened and hand it to them, they will then be obilgated to read it. But whatever you do, don't write it by yourself or without support. It will be very triggering and you don't want this to set you backwards, but when you do write it, it will bring some healing to you as well. I know from experience unfortunately. I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted on how it goes. It helps for survivors to stick together as we can relate to something that happens to often, but seems to be so few in the eyes of others.

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Well it's the night before my exam and literally I feel numb about everything

.the only thing I feel is anger and frustration and small things are pissing me off . This is how I deal with tough situations. I shut down emotionally and not feel. I don't know how it will go but I will be honest and I hope everything will turn out for the best...I'll keep you all posted on the results

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Well I just finished. I had to talk with a psychiatrist for about 1 and half hours.I not sure how I feel about it. There were just so many questions. I am still questioning whether I answered questions correctly. I am just negative talking to myself. I just feel frustrated that maybe I could have said more or maybe I could have said more. Ahhh so frustrating. After that I had to go take 2 test on a computer 1 had 550 questions and the other had 170. That took about a few more hours. Although the computer test took awhile I was just happy not talking with a person. I can't say I had a bad exam like I have read on hadit. She seems generally concerned about me, but you never know. They also had an intern in the room to which made me a little uncomfortable but she asked If it was ok ahead of time and I said ok. Maybe having 2 psychiatrists might be better for me and they might collaborate and be favorable for me. Only time will tell. So now I'm just sitting in my car writing and waiting till I feel like I can drive. Just happy being alone right now.

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Don't know when I will be tasked with those mega questionaires, but for me, so far, the hardest part was making that first phone call! It took me a few years before I was able to do that.

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Yes I am hoping it will show up on myhealthevet this week and at that point I will post it to get Ideas.

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