ptsd What is PTSD like

[USMC_VET]

People sometimes ask what is PTSD like? often they dont know i suffer from it, but this is always my answer

*also i know there are many many various forms of Trauma that can result in PTSD, whether a horrible car accident or Sexual trauma, since my personal experience was war, that is why i come from that angle*

 

War is like a large black hole in the ground.  As you get closer to it the darkness touches you, in war often you need to go straight into that hole.

A rare few, can enter into the darkness and come out relatively unscathed.

Many are able to go in and crawl back out, but live on that edge, staring into the darkness, and still feel it pulling at them

Too many are never able to crawl out, they stay in the darkness.

 

It is our job as fellow vets and fellow humans to reach our hands into that darkness and pull them out, never leave anyone behind, the public doesnt care, the VA doesnt care.  They feel they have done enough by throwing cash and pills into that hole.  They dont understand that there isnt enough money and medications in the world to build up a hill to crawl up and out of that dark hole.  We must do it ourselves for our brothers and sisters.

Just my thoughts

[bionoce]

It's a black void of nothing that eats away at life. Like a black hole in outer space that sucks everything into its void if not kept in check. Therapy, exercise, and whatever else you have to do keeps a lid on it.

[Andyman73]

I can't even begin to relate, since I was nowhere near anything.  I figure something is wrong cuz I feel some of the things ya'll have mentioned, but I didn't get there the "normal" way.  I haven't been able to explain what I feel like, to my MH doc, when the voices start screaming for me to take the easy way out.  Wife don't understand either.

[knap-sack]

I feel I bleed I am the real deal.  I was the cock of the walk but now I just fear the next bad thing that never happens.  Paranoid is just a higher realization of reality.  once in a blue moon I am what I was.

[Buck52]

I don't understand why I am in therapy? its not helping me at all that I can see?   sure they say it takes time but 6 weeks of therapy and no change?

what am I suppose to be asking/telling my therapist?  he seems to be saying the wrong things to me by asking me things like  how do you feel when anxiety acts up? or when I am around a crowd of people how does that make me feel?  things like that, I just tell him it all stress me out.

he says a lot of other things that don't make any sense to me?

his way of fixing this  is  go be around a crowd of people for 10 min after 10 min if I am to stressed   just leave, or think about why I get stressed  stop and think how I feel..I say I just want to be left alone, he says well stop and think why do you want to be left alone is that normal in my way of thinking  I said no its not normal but it seems to make me feel better...Isolation is what helps me.

so I don't know if this therapy is helping.?

anybody have any suggestions? 

 

................Buck

[Andyman73]

Buck,

My doc wants me to think about whatever is on my mind the moment I begin to feel different. When my ears start burning, I'm not usually thinking at all(see, I am brain dead afterall!). When I see a C-130 flying over head my heart just starts beating faster, before I start to think of anything.

Most of the time it is an automatic response.  It happens before I realize it.

Don't see how this will help me to stop hearing the voice telling me to check out. Don't see how it will help me not need a stiff drink to fall asleep at night. Or stop the night sweats. Or always seeking out the farthest corner or chair away from people.

Wonder when he wants to talk about my military experiences? Or why I feel guilty or ashamed or undeserving.

Andy

[knap-sack]

U tell em like it is