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Andyman73

PTSD due to MST C&P today

Question

Hi,

This afternoon I have my C&P exam for PTSD secondary to MST, with a contracted provider. I found out Friday evening after work. Fed Ex had delivered the paperwork earlier, but I didn't get a chance to see it until I got home from work.

To say that I am nervous would be the understatement of the year. I am desperately trying to hold myself together. My digestive system is all out of whack.  I did spend an hour on the phone last night with a wonderful person from a non VSO group. She is a Marine and has trauma history, so that made the connection pretty easy.  She gave me a lot of good tips, if I could only remember them when it's crunch time.

One of my biggest fears is that this will be just like my previous mental health C&P...where that examiner, a VA employee, when straight for the jugular and ignored my heaps of physical evidence. I don't know why I am even doing this. I fully expect to get more of the same....nothing. If I do get granted SC, the shock of that may well kill me...because that goes against the grain of what the VA has given me over the years....tons of grief and denials.

Anyway, just wanted to write this down as some kind of therapy...

No body has to read it, or respond.  I'm not here anyway.........

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Andyman you are in my thoughts and prayers and you are so strong and brave and I hope you are not kicked when you are already down.  I am heading out to meet with the VA Social Worker now...I hardly slept last night.

God bless!

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@Michigander

I lived! Man.....was hard, but not as hard as I thought. The Dr was very kind and patient and understanding. I was able to tell him everything I could about the male predator and the two assaults by him.

Doc said that survivors of MST, and civilian survivors are suffering from PTSD much more significantly than combat PTSD sufferers mainly due to the personal and intimate nature of the assault.  He said he only sees this level of PTSD in Combat Vets who fought hand to hand, and close quarters combat..where you could see their faces...which makes that human connection. He wasn't knocking combat Vets, but was trying to help me accept that what I went through and have since then, really is as bad or worse than I feel. Which makes sense, the one Vet that knows what I went through told me himself that his tour in Afghanistan and in Iraq, where he lost friends in both and endured multiple combat contacts, was less, in his eyes, than what I went through. As far as the personal nature of my assaults.

Thank you for your support. I hope your meeting goes well.

Andrew

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Andrew,

It sounds like your meeting could not have went better....I hope you get a favorable decision for what you have had to suffer and endure all these years.

God bless

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14 hours ago, Michigander said:

Andrew,

It sounds like your meeting could not have went better....I hope you get a favorable decision for what you have had to suffer and endure all these years.

God bless

@Michigander,

Yeah, I am happy with it. I am trying to be faithful in Him and wait on His time....23 years is such a long time to live with this horror...and all that came with it.

I would be heartbroken if this gets denied. Dr. said definitely have ptsd from my mst, but we all know that means bupkus till the RO give their 2  cents worth.

God bless you, too!

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