Lucks running out

[jfrei]

I've been trying to figure out how to stop making the same mistakes over and over and to do right for my kids and hopefully improve from my impulsive thoughts. But then the doctor says to me you put me in a tough spot I have to call child services on you and speak with your wife. My wife who just had a baby 9 days was being interviewed by my psychiatrist. She kept asking if you feel like you have to supervise with the kids and she said sometimes and with projects in the house. My wife can't be a fulltime care giver I know that she's going back to work in 9 weeks. I have until the 7th of June my next appts and on Aderral 20mg to hopefully change my ways and make better for my kids. I can't lose my kids I love them. Just thought I'd give an update and hopefully here some ideas of what the xxxx I'm doing right or wrong?ive turned to this website for help always but I think my lucks running out...

Edited May 18, 2017 by jfrei

[dolfanbls]

Praying for you and your Family,

[jfrei]

Doctor said I may get to distracted and put kids in jeopardy she kept asking my wife if she needs to supervise me with the kids or if she gets scared when she'goes back to work I knew my sTBI was my downfall but I didn't know how bad it effected my love for my family now it's all in the VAs hands and I doubt like it now I feel like I shouldn't have said my issues kept everything under wraps if my wife has to give up the only jobs she's loved then I've failed as a husband again

Edited May 18, 2017 by jfrei

[broncovet]

You posted:

Quote

Doctor said I may get to distracted and put kids in jeopardy.

 

The obvious answer is you need help.  You need to humble yourself and "ask" for help.  The bible says you do not have because you do not ask.  

There are multiple places where you could get help, but none will come to you without asking.  For example:

1.  A family member.  Could one of them come over and watch your kids with you, say after school, until wifey gets home?  The little ones may need to be put in daycare.  You can still see your kids, but you may not want to be responsible for their care, at least not 24/7  

2.  Help from an agency, oh, say, like VA's "caregiver" program.  While Im not sure if Va does this (provides daycare for childrent), they may provide care FOR YOU.  

3.  Ask a local agency for help with daycare, explaining your doctor's words.  

4.  The most important thing, for your kids, is to not be in denial and get the help you need to provide care for them.

5.  A neighbor or family friend.  My daughter has a neighbor who just adores my grandkids and uses any excuse to be with them.  She likes to change them and do all the mommie stuff.  It really is natural, especially for a teenage gal to want to care for and nurture children to learn to be a mom.  

6.  This will involve a certain amount of humility on your part.  You will need to decide which is more important:YOUR kids welfare or your pride.  Based on your post, I would say you have made that choice, and the right choice, at that.  I think its a wise decision that you placed your kids health/ best interets above your own pride.

7.  If all else fails, bite the bullet and pay for daycare yourself.  You will obviously have to give something else up, but this is not unusual that parents give stuff up for their kids.  My  parents did so for me, and I did for my kids.  

     Perhaps you have heard of the story of King Solomon.  King Solomon was the wisest man on earth.  Two women came to him, both arguing they were the child's mother, and both wanted custody of the child.  

     Solomon said, "Ok.  We will cut the child in half and give half to each of you."  

      "No!!!"  One of the women screamed.  "Give the child to the other woman".  

       Solomon pointed at that woman and said.  "You are the child's mother.  Give that child to her".  

       Solomon wisely knew that the real mom would put the childs interests above her own.  Its what we parents do.  You have done so, and you are a good parent.    

Edited May 18, 2017 by broncovet

[broncovet]

If its any consolation, I could not do it either.  That is, even tho I raised 3  awesome kids, my mental health is not good enough for me to raise any more for me to do that now.    

When my grandkids come, I make sure my wife is there, or the kids mom and dad to help me.  Oh, sure I can watch them for a few hours, but its far different to watch kids a couple hours than to have full responsibility for them 24/7.  I can not handle that much stress, and kids are stressfull.    They want/need your constant attention.  

Its not ususual that you can do something for an hour, but not full time 40 or more hours a week.  As an example, most of us have had to wait in an airport for an hour.  

I read of one person who was stuck in an airport permanently.  I forget the reason now, but it may have to do with immigration issues.  They had to stay at the airport for months, night and day.  I would begin to go crazy in about 2 hours or less.  

[jfrei]

43 minutes ago, broncovet said:

You posted:

 

The obvious answer is you need help.  You need to humble yourself and "ask" for help.  The bible says you do not have because you do not ask.  

There are multiple places where you could get help, but none will come to you without asking.  For example:

1.  A family member.  Could one of them come over and watch your kids with you, say after school, until wifey gets home?  The little ones may need to be put in daycare.  You can still see your kids, but you may not want to be responsible for their care, at least not 24/7  

2.  Help from an agency, oh, say, like VA's "caregiver" program.  While Im not sure if Va does this (provides daycare for childrent), they may provide care FOR YOU.  

3.  Ask a local agency for help with daycare, explaining your doctor's words.  

4.  The most important thing, for your kids, is to not be in denial and get the help you need to provide care for them.

5.  A neighbor or family friend.  My daughter has a neighbor who just adores my grandkids and uses any excuse to be with them.  She likes to change them and do all the mommie stuff.  It really is natural, especially for a teenage gal to want to care for and nurture children to learn to be a mom.  

6.  This will involve a certain amount of humility on your part.  You will need to decide which is more important:YOUR kids welfare or your pride.  Based on your post, I would say you have made that choice, and the right choice, at that.  I think its a wise decision that you placed your kids health/ best interets above your own pride.

7.  If all else fails, bite the bullet and pay for daycare yourself.  You will obviously have to give something else up, but this is not unusual that parents give stuff up for their kids.  My  parents did so for me, and I did for my kids.  

     Perhaps you have heard of the story of King Solomon.  King Solomon was the wisest man on earth.  Two women came to him, both arguing they were the child's mother, and both wanted custody of the child.  

     Solomon said, "Ok.  We will cut the child in half and give half to each of you."  

      "No!!!"  One of the women screamed.  "Give the child to the other woman".  

       Solomon pointed at that woman and said.  "You are the child's mother.  Give that child to her".  

       Solomon wisely knew that the real mom would put the childs interests above her own.  Its what we parents do.  You have done so, and you are a good parent.    

I finally said enough is enough and I felt concerned and told my doctor my issues Her response I'm calling your wife now and my wife wasn't even mad when I sat down and we talked I said I've been so distracted at times they could have but didn't get harmed. But I'm not trying to luck there way through life and thanks for the words Broncovet

 

Edited May 18, 2017 by jfrei

[Gastone]

Jfr, what exactly is the Aderral 20 mg supposed to change or lessen, that would remove the need for the Dr to contact Children's Protective Service? Are you rated as House Bound? What was your CSC before the IU Award. You are aware that with the IU Award, you could do part-time work (Great MH Therapy) earning under the SGI $12,400 and not have to worry about getting an IU Reduction? 

This may be a sexist thing to say, but women were meant to have, care for and raise their Babies. Men, while loving their children, just don't measure up to WOMEN, when it comes to 24/7 care and nurturing of the kids. At least I don't, never did. I could work 70 hr weeks with no problem but after watching my 4 kids for an hr or so, I couldn't wait for my wife, mother or mother-in-law to show up.

Where are the Grand Parents?  Check with local churches for assistance. School will be out soon, hire a teenage babysitter to help you and your wife,

Semper Fi