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Be Nice

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biggjonn75

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Hi  All:

I got out of the Navy in 1980. In the heat of Orlando at Nuclear Power School, under fluorescent lights, I developed ophthalmic migraines. I was an MM-3. They said I could stay in as a Yeoman or a Hospital-man. At 6'4" 240 lbs, it didn't make sense. They voided my contract and I took an honorable medical discharge. I got a 10 % rating. I went to a year of college, under Voc. Rehab; got the 1st coed I met pregnant, and dropped out to make some money. I came in 1st on the local Fire Department test, and afraid they would think I couldn't work around heat, I voluntarily gave back my 10%. (OK - guys and gals ... breathe slowly into the paper bag until the light headed-ness  goes away.)

I never joined the Fire Department, for the same reason I didn't become a hospital man, I can't stand someone else's blood. I joined the Post Office, then transferred to the FAA as an Air Traffic Controller. I got my back hurt at the tower in 1990. They put me on disability. I stayed on OWCP  for 5 years. My kids were getting bigger, and instead of the $4,000 a month I made as a controller, I was down to $1,800. I gave up a second disability compensation, and became a Realtor. l made great money ... sometimes. My best year I made $157,000. I also bar-tended most of those years. I got most of my clients from the bars. During the last recession, the real estate business stopped. I took a job at Best Buy, worked at the VFW as a bar tender, and did a karaoke show on Fridays.  I quit Best Buy 4 years later and both bars closed shortly thereafter. In 2012, the VRAP program was instituted for unemployed veterans. It gave  us 12 months of school. I got my associates degree, but while I was there my ophthalmic migraines began again. I applied to the VA and got back my 10% rating. They'd never heard of anyone giving it back before ... it only took a month or so. When my 12 months of VRAP were over, I called Voc Rehab and asked how much time I had remaining in Voc. Rehab from the 90's. They gave me 3 more years, 

I graduated with a BA from UMASS in 2 years as an accountant. During the 3 years of school, my eyes got more out of whack (My Cousin Vinny). I did most classes online and that aggravated it. I applied and received an upgrade to 30% and then 50%. I had picked accounting because of my back problems. I now couldn't do it because of my eye problems: discerning 6's from 0's and 8's or 1's from 7's was impossible. So I went to an VA eye exam on 06/27/16. They burned out my eyes. For the last year it's been constant, persistent migraines in the left one, and all sorts of weird stuff on the right. I had to stop driving. I can't sleep.  I am antisocial, grouchy, and mean. In November 2016, I applied for unemployabliity. I used our state veteran's rep. and it only took 8 months. First I got 10% for tinnitus. Everything else was deferred. 17 days ago I had a C & P exam for depression. I was never depressed before. Today, one year and a day from the eye exam from hell, I received 30% for Depression and I do not have to be reevaluated. The total was 68% rounded up top 70% and met the threshold for unemployability and 100%.

Why so fast? I spelled out everything and kept a daily journal of what was happening. I went to the right people, and had the doctors on my side. And I was always respectful and nice to everyone. The girl that messed up my eyes felt terrible ... I was nice.

Last week I was in Providence and a diabetic veteran, missing half a foot, was screaming at the poor young lady behind the window.  An idiot. I worked 40 years as a bouncer and bartender and never fought. I was always nice, even when I could have hurt them. The last fight I was in (not working) I punched an idiot in the mouth. I got blood poisoning from his filthy tooth. I've been nice ever since.

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  • HadIt.com Elder

BE Nice

Welcome to Hadit

I moved your post to  ''success stories '' it will be read better there!

 

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Congratulations, big john.  We should all take a page out of this playbook.  My favorite excuse for being "not nice" was always depression.  I guess I will have to think of new excuses, until I run out of them.  Or, maybe I just learned something that I already knew.  

Learning things that "I already know" are usually more difficult than learning things I did not know, as I get lured into complacency, thinking I knew all that stuff.  My most dangerous time of my life was when I thought I knew it all.   That is when you are the most vulnerable.  

I really think its at least as important to "know what you dont know" than it is to "know what you know".  

Not understanding "what you dont know" is the worst.  Yea, I know this is hard to grasp.  I once saw a diagram, which I wish I could repost:

Know    What you know[ or }    What you dont know.  

Dont know     What you know   {or}   What you dont know.  

There are 4 categories here.  We all have "all 4".  We know some things...not so good at others.  

And, our "self evaluation" of what we do know or what we dont know is sometimes out of whack.     Sometimes, we are under confident, and already do know things, but have doubts.  (Dont know what you know)

Likewise, we are sometimes overconfident and think we know way more than what we do.  

In my older years, I have learned it is not weakness to admit you dont know.  I also learned not to blame others for my mistakes, because that prevents me from learning from my mistakes.  

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brocovet

I use this

Man if only I knew then what I know now back in the day, I'd be better off:smile:

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I agree with this totally. In my twenty plus years dealing with the VA I have found being mean almost always hurts you. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be assertive. Be assertive. An air of confidence doesn't hurt either.

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