A&A Questions...Again sorry!!

[Buck52]

 I know this subject has come up many times and there's boo coo of information about A&A  And I had to think before I posted this but my fear came true today.

I do think I need to file a A&A claim for my spouse/I am not sure what the pay is ?  but anything will help us.

I been thinking about this now for a year or so  since my spouse has got worse with her neuropathy  and osteoporosis .

I been having to help her in the tub/shower and help her get dressed and she sits and tells me how and what to cook,  I don't mind doing this  actually I been doing it a while now, we can't afford to have someone come in and help out  so I been doing it.

I had VA Appointment today and have thought about leaving her alone while I am at the VA....Today after I got back from the VA I was gone about 5 hours total and when I got back home I found my spouse had fallen and couldn't get up   or get to the phone..she laid there until I got back home..

it was sad to see her this way and I got emotional , lots of things run through my mind...Now I am afraid to leave her when I go out of the house for appointments or Grocery's .

or son was helping us but he moved.. I did mention to my VAMH Therapist LCSW S-4  a few months ago That I was having a hard time leaving my spouse alone when I come to my Appointments now that fear came true. eh! the therapist put that in my Notes.

My spouse Pain DR   has said he will help her any way she needs...a letter or whatever she needs, she already has a letter from her  VA PCP saying she can't be working  and needs help dressing and cooking  because of her bone loss condition and the neuropathy   she weighs 119;bs  not the usual 145/150 lbs she use to weigh..she skin and bones.

she been in 2 rehab programs and it help a little but after  she went back to being bad...with her conditions.

What would be our chances getting the A&A and would it have any effect on what I get from the VA now   100%P&T WITH SMC S & K  She only gets SSDI AND NOW MEDICARE age 64...Medicare is no help other than the medical care and some med's  she gets most of her meds via meds by mail and medicare helps with hospitalization which she has CHF And gets case of the flu and pneumonia each year...last year I almost lost her to CHF and double pneumonia at the same time.   she pulled through that    plus she had triple by pass heart surgery in 2005  from the VAMC she has other condition to and needs a lot of medical procedures we can't afford to have done  the Dr's have said her spine in like mush  the bones have deteriorated very bad. Also there are certain types of medications she can;t take due to Barcactic  Surgery Years ago,

  when it rains it pours  IN Texas.  

Anybody want to give me there 2 cents or advise as to what we can do?

Thank you All.

[broncovet]

Buck,

    According to this site, A and A for a spouse is only $152 per month.  https://www.benefits.va.gov/compensation/resources_comp02.asp

Bottom entry in the box.  

   However, often the Area Agency on Aging (That is what its called in my area, your area may call it something different) can help you with community based support.  

   Try this:  https://www.ccadvance.org/seniors/

[broncovet]

However, the caregiver act has been extended to include Vn era Vets, too.  Im not sure if this one applies to Vets or not, maybe someone else can chime in.  

It sounds like your spouse can get one of those emergency buttons they wear around their neck, which may help, along with/without a cell phone.  

[Buck52]

Thanks broncovet

I'm not sure its worth the trouble filing?.I don't know what to do??/ eh!!!.....Getting Old Is Not what I was thinking  eh!!!

..I would ask my neighbors to come sit with her while I am gone but they both work  and the other neighbor is a  58 years old lady taking care of her disable 85 year old mother.

Like I said when it rains it pours  in Texas!

[Guest L]

@Buck52 So sorry about all this. I would ask her doctor for a referral to Occupational Therapy - and a caregiver  Certified Nursing Assistant  -for your spouses ADL's ( Dressing grooming bathing toileting) with a prescription the order is covered under medicare.  ( meaning they will pay most of the cost or all - ask) 

This would give you a small break- ( Called a RESPITE)  until you can figure things out. in simple terms tell them you need a break, so you will get the help......

Occupational Therapy will address the safety aspect and might be able to address the concerns you have and get their notes- take to your doctor for ongoing care to show it is not safe to leave her alone. 

Cell phone pouch is an option or the medic alert is the best option - they work in most cases 300 ft from the front door - these are inexpensive options if she is able to "cognitively" comprehend what to do once she falls.

Occupational Therapy can teach her how to get up off the floor based on how your home is set up.  * repetition- equal memory, when faced with this situation. . 

This all starts with a simple phone call to the doctor stating.

"I am concerned about my wife's safety, I have no one to assist me when I go to my doctors appointment, she is a fall risk- she fell on insert date and laid on the floor till I got home.

I need help & caring for her 24 hours a day is taking a toll on me, I need a break". 

Good luck buddy

[broncovet]

Buck:  Just file for it.  Yes, I agree 150 dollars a month does not sound like much.  I get that.  But it would be 150 more per month than what you have now.  Or, look at it this way:  You could hire a sitter for your wife for 15 hours per month at 10.00 per hour.  Just apply.  If it turns out later, you dont need the money, then donate it to Tbird.  True, 15 hours a month is not enough, but its better than 0 hours per month, and maybe you can get help elsewhere.    Since we know it takes VA a while to award stuff like this, you probably can get a nice retro check..enough for something you/your wife needs.  

If you dont "pace yourself" with regular time off, you will burn out and not be any help to the woman you love.    Nobody can work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, without rest, even when its caring for someone you love. Especially then.  You are her caregiver, but you do need time off from that when someone else watches her for a few hours.  Just because you dont recognize that this is "work" (because you love her), that does not mean it does not wear you down.  I have been caregiver for my father, my mother, and my father in law, as well as caregiver for people that I did not know when I worked in a nursing home for about a year.  Trust me this is a very very hard job..and few want to do this.  You need a break from your caregiver job, just like you needed a break from your regular jobs.  Its too hard to do any job 24/7/365 like we were asked to do in the military.  But, you were 20 years old then and could handle that then, but you can not now.  

 

 

Edited August 8, 2018 by broncovet

[Buck52]

Thanks L & broncovet

She had did the Rehab two times  8 weeks each, total of 16 weeks with 30 day intervals I drove her  and they said she is just  in to bad shape to help her  her bones are  deteriorated so bad  they can break anytime   we were lucky she didn't break anything this time , she caught the bed before falling  hard  and then she went on to the floor/she can't get up if she is on the floor or crawl any place.,,she has fallen before breaking her leg and ankle 4 years ago or so  this is when she was declared totally disabled by SSA.... she takes the prolia Injections ever 6 months suppose to increase bone strength and pain injections in her back right beside her spinal cord upper and lower back every 2 months and boo coos of  pain medication including the 100 MG FENTYNL Patch and recently started using the 750 mg CBD Oil under her tongue.

She also Has severe Sleep Apnea  I do too, nut mine is Mild Sleep Apnea.

She uses a C-PAP Machine as well as I.

like I mention ''Getting Old is a hard Job...eh!

 

broocovet, If we had any Extra$$ to give away  we would help our children out.

I try to donate to Ms T from time to time.

I think L hit it on the head  she needs to do home therapy from what she learn in Physical therapy from the therapist  which she really liked. but the medicare part they pay  is used up already for 2018.

She don't want a Nursing home care.  ...I will think of something  or figure this all out

Edited August 8, 2018 by Buck52