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Please tell me this is worth it

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megtwils

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OEF female vet here just starting the process of my PTSD/MST and Tinnitus claims.  

I'm gonna be really honest here : For many years I didn't file anything because I felt guilty filing claims next to soldiers missing limbs and suffering from TBI and other horrors.  At the urging of a fellow friend and vet, I've started the process and have quickly gone from feeling guilty to becoming a total trainwreck.  I met with a VSO last week and have slowly started working on my statement and I feel like a giant hole has been ripped open and everything is spilling over.  It's affecting my job, my family, everything.  I am having panic attacks and crying uncontrollably off and on.  I really am shocked at what is coming out.  I thought the two years of private therapy immediately after my deployment was enough. Did anyone else feel the same way?

Please tell me that putting myself/family through this and reliving these traumas, coupled with the tedious maze of claim do's and don'ts is truly worth it?  I think I may need to start counseling again to get through this.

Thanks. 

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Well, you know more about the severity of your symptoms than we do.  If this is a thing that will blow over in a couple weeks, then there is no use in filing.  However, as you posted, if this is more of an ongoing thing, then by all means file.  

You will need DOCUMENTATION of these 3 Caluza elments before you are service connected.  You can get numbers 1, and 3 later, but number 2 has to be already documented in your records.

1.  Current diagnosis of PTSD, MST, depression etc., etc.  

2.  In service event or aggravation.  Hopefully any "stressor" is documented.  

3.  Nexus, or doctors opinion that 1 and 2 are related.  

     Again, dont fret too much about numbers 1 and 3 RIGHT NOW, you can get a diagnosis and a nexus later if you do not currently have one.  

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megtwils

NOT SURE IF YOU ALREADY DID THIS  BUT INCASE YOU HAVE NOT YET?

It's not uncommon for MST Veterans to not file claims on this for obvious reasons...just feel a shame and don't won't the Markers bringing back the honorific trauma that you suffer or trying not to dig up the past.

  and its not uncommon not to report this or file Claim...After it happen for years.

I recommend you go to the VA MH Clinic

.VA MH Clinic can help you...you go to them ask for an evaluation about your condition and what happen,   the trauma is haunting you and you need help.

you will need to let them know what the trauma was (unfortunately)

They will have you a trained psychiatrist or  Linscens Clinical Social Worker to evaluate you and diagnose you. And start you in Therapy Sessions right away.

  once you get a PTSD/Depression Diagnosis  then check with a experience VSO and ask him/her to file your claim.

This is when you need to provide medical records and police reports as evidence to this claim. dates and location.

as broncovet mention

there are no limits on filing a claim  but you should do this as soon as you can at least file the claim..you can use the ITF (Intent to file) claim that gives you time to gather up your medical records In service records report of the event and you have 12 months to do this before you submit your claim,  your claim  process date will be the day you file the ITF.

Edited by Buck52
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Many, if not most Vets are reluctant to file claims.  I lived with my issues for many years before I first filed in 2002. 

My son in law is an Afghanastan War Vet, who has the purple heart, and he did not think he was "worthy" either..he didnt file because he thought other Vets deserved it more.  

Ditto for my father in law.  

There are 2 types of disabilities: 

1.  Visible..blow off arms legs scars burns etc.  

2  In visible.  PTSD MST, MDD, hearing loss, and most of the other stuff.  

     Dont worry that you have an "invisible" disability.  When your car "breaks down", sure, sometimes parts fly off or come off and you can see what is wrong.  But, if your car suddenly stops running, and you can not "see" why, you still have a non running car.  You might need to hire a guy who is good with computers/cars to "see" what is wrong, even tho most of the rest of us can not see what is wrong with your car.  It still does not run.  Just because the tires did not fall off, does not mean your car is somehow "bad", it probably means there is something wrong with the electronics or computers in your car.  

     The same is true with you.  Just because you dont have a "visible" disability, this does not mean it wont get you down.  It just means you need someone with expertise to diagnose and treat your conditions..your neigbor cant see it, and that is okay.  God made us all different.  

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"feeling guilty to becoming a total trainwreck"

Welcome to the trainwreck club! 

Have you told your PCP that you want to see a shrink, set up an appointment with your PCP at the VA, and at the appointment just request that you want to see the shrink.

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I know little to nothing about MST but I can relate to a PTSD diagnosis.  I have PTSD due to injuries suffered in service.  When my rep first filed for this benefit he told me that your benefits are earned by your giving the best part of your life to your country and being injured in the process.

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My wife is a Vet. She was suffering for years because of PTSD from MST, and I never had a real clue what it was doing. I read a womans post here on hadit and it hit me like a sledge hammer, hey, this is my wife...

nobody can take away what they did, its something that is etched into you forever

and you need counseling sometimes, that's ok

so do those who got shot or lost their leg or arms and hands

and it helps

this is a disability, it can interfere with your life for decades and beyond, dont ignore it

anxiety attacks and panic attacks will go on and on, 35 years later still happening to my best friend

you ask today if this is worth it

tomorrow you will know, its just hiding today

it is worth it

dont wait

 

it took around 125 days and they came back 100% P&T

i learned she didnt stay home to take care of the house or the pets and kids

she stayed home because she was scared to death to leave

it was her safe place

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