PTSD and gambling?

[11cvolley]

So I found out today that my Uncles neighbor is 100% for only ptsd. He tried talking to me while I was visiting my uncle. He then invites me to go to the casino with him to play cards; which, I declined. I'm not judging but it is peaking my curiosity. How do 100% ptsd veterans manage to go gambling in a crowded casino that requires interaction, but can't work? I'm not judging or plan on reporting. Not my job or business to try to report people. I just want to understand it.

[GeekySquid]

On 10/16/2018 at 3:51 PM, 11cvolley said:

I do judge my own 100% rating sometimes.

You have to remember that with the VA our "disability" rating is a percentage of how much our situations have limited our ability to earn an income. Our income from the VA is compensation for that ongoing harm.

If you reach 100% schedular SC P&T you can still legally work, but your conditions are such that on average, of others similarly situated like you, you would not be earning what you could. It is a recognition of cumulative effect of multiple factors arising from your military service.

Just because you are 100% schedular or even IU,  taking your kid on a family outing is not something to feel guilty about.

I am fairly confident that everyone here believes you are honestly entitled to your rating and I am fairly sure that is the default position every veteran who posts here is viewed under, that they are honestly harmed and entitled to their rating.

when that same feeling of "guilt" shows up again, give yourself five minutes to wallow in it and then shake it off. tell yourself that time is up for feeling guilty because guilt is a useless emotion.

If you continue to feel a drive to feel "bad" about yourself, I can suggest you find a Sect of the Catholic Church called Opus Dei. They believe in self-flagellation to atone for their felt guilt over perceived sins. They will even lend you a whip so you can bloody your own back. Such thoughtful people.

[EgregiousError]

I struggle with crowds and busy places like stores, classrooms, waiting rooms etc, but have found that GIANT crowds and certain kinds of busy places are fine.  I have been in the middle of a sea of 100k people and felt safer than at 7/11. In fact, in that group, I am invisible.  I can handle visits to large casinos because, again, I can blend. The repetitive noise will, eventually, wear me out, but not the people.  For me, the difference lies in how much attention I draw.  In a group of 20, I can and do stand out. In a line with only five people, again, I stand out. Then comes interaction, which is where I really stumble.  I can see how a casino would work for some though. It's a scripted environment with its own rules and its morals, that allows followers to be as big or small as they want. If I were you, I'd just be happy that another veteran has found some place they can belong.

[vetquest]

On ‎10‎/‎21‎/‎2018 at 12:15 AM, GeekySquid said:

When that same feeling of "guilt" shows up again, give yourself five minutes to wallow in it and then shake it off. tell yourself that time is up for feeling guilty because guilt is a useless emotion.

I once was told by a wise old veteran that you earned your disability by giving up your health (mental or physical) in service of your country.  And the VA is not in the business of rewarding sloth.

[GeekySquid]

4 minutes ago, vetquest said:

I once was told by a wise old veteran that you earned your disability by giving up your health (mental or physical) in service of your country. 

@vetquest

i agree with the sentiments.

Sadly guilt is a social construct that is often perversely internalized in the wrong situations and wrong ways.

There are so many ways society, military, and even family introduce guilt into our belief systems that end up harming us in the long run.

Guys are taught to "be a man" to 'be tough" to "man up", the converse, spoken or not, is that if you don't you are less than a man.  In the military women are taught the sames things, generally with the appropriate gender or pronoun. If you complain or even talk about a problem you are supposedly weak. Feeling like you are weak can develop feelings of guilt.

The same with the concept of providing for your family. That your ability to earn income, and how much, is a measure of who you are in society. If you don't measure up to others, to family expectations, your own expectations, you are not providing. You are less than others. You are unfit or failing to do what you are "supposed" to do. Those things can and do lead to feeling guilt.

There is survivors guilt and the infamous "if I had only done......" internal beliefs, all fostered by social status and what we each feel is our own social obligation in any given circumstance.

There are other types of guilt, but they mostly can lead to the same negative feelings that we as people internalize.

Then there is actual guilt. The person did something wrong and worse that it harmed someone else. This type of guilt should be felt and at the same time it should not become a vicious cycle of "guilt-another bad action-failure-guilt". 

Say someone is driving to fast and hits a neighbors dog. They should feel guilt for hitting the dog and driving too fast. They should feel that guilt and use it as a tool to stop speeding and work to become a better more attentive driver. What they should not do, is wallow in it day after day, year after year.

Survivors guilt may be the worst and most insidious. An event happened not of your making. Nothing you did could have stopped it or saved anyone else. But you survived. Feeling guilty about this or nitpicking your own actions/survival until you do "find' a reason to be guilty is a bad thing to do.

This all amounts to why I view it the way I do. We humans, unless we are sociopaths, will at times feel guilt about things not of our own doing.

Accepting that and allowing yourself a couple minutes (the time is not significant until it becomes excessive or constant) to feel what you feel is okay. Just don't let it become a habit, ingrained or excessive.

We served and we earned our benefits. Don't catch yourself in the guilt trap, but at the same don't deny the feelings when they pop up. deal with them for a "minute or two" and then put them away. Feeling guilt over actions has value to society, wallowing in fabricated/undeserved guilt does not.

I personally take at face value that every veteran who is receiving compensation has earned that compensation. I am not their doctor or in their head and I am not their moral evaluator or conscious. Yes, I accept that some people fraudulently apply for benefits. I chose to believe that, for the most part, those people are caught and dealt with.

I chose to believe that the intention (not to be confused with the application) of the process to prove our claims is meant to identify those truly deserving and weed out/limit those who potentially are not. It is not a perfect system, none are and some deserving people are unintentionally harmed or made to jump through repetitive hoops that border on abusive.

I also believe without a doubt, that some VA employees and parts of the system are designed to be nothing barriers to inappropriately deprive veterans of benefits. The intention to deprive is abhorrent and abusive and must be rooted out.

Over all guilt is a useless emotion when it is not deserved. When it is deserved it should be tool to do better, not a reason to continue to do bad.

[Buck52]

I believe what GeekySquid mention here about Guilt

''Over all guilt is a useless emotion when it is not deserved. When it is deserved it should be tool to do better, not a reason to continue to do bad.''

Guilt & Forgiveness are two major factors in my life.

I feel guilt for some things in the Vietnam war I couldn't do anything about  but I still have guilt today and I will probably take that guilt to my grave...I am in CPT Therapy and been in it for years  but so for I still feel the guilt.

When I was 17 years old my older beautiful sister 20 was a super model and was on her way up in this world as for as making it with her career     she was hit by a drunk driver and was killed, I was bitter toward this drunk driver  and he was only charge with manslaughter and was give probation of 2 years and could not drive...it took me years to forgive him for that  and he felt guilt for what he did and was very apologetic and remorse..but some times in life its very hard not to feel guilt or forgiveness   but once I did forgive  it felt like a ton was lifted off my shoulders I carried around for years and years... when I did I forgive him.

As for as what a Veteran does with his Compensation  in my opinion thats his business to do as he pleases  if he has a place to live and wants to go to a casino to gamble that's totally up to him.

I personally never had any luck at casinos but some times go to one just to get out of the house,  I might play a slot machine or some 21 Just for some entertainment and  I do love those casinos buffet's ...> and yep I  watch the pretty cocktail waitress..eh!  my spouse just don't agree with me on that...eh!

I say what ever makes a disabled Veteran happy GO FOR IT.

 

[paulstrgn]

I had a hard time filing my first VA claim. I always thought I should not file a claim, after all I was never wounded or lost any limbs from combat. But I finally realized that after 20 years I need to file a claim. All but one of my disabilities can't be seen, but I can tell you I never go a day without having pain. I never claim anything that is not real, but I do claim everything that has become worse because of my time in the service. I am glad that those like the one who wants to go to casinos goes and has some fun, after all as vets we have earned it. I try not to judge vets for I do not have x-ray vision and I can't read minds so I assume they have earned the benefits that they are receiving.

JMO