I think my dad blew it for his aid and attendance exam....

[msh789]

I've been my father's caretaker since 2009. He only recently filed for aid and attendance. I do pretty much everything for him..laundry, cooking, cleaning, helping him get dressed, grocery shopping for him, taxi cab for his appointments, helping him climb into bed at night.. 

At his aid and attendance exam, I was a little put off by the examiner. I tried to explain what I do for him, but she told me basically to shut up and she wanted him to answer....The man is 88 years old...it was obvious he was having trouble even getting into and out of the office and onto and off of the exam table (for his knee, which is service connected and he is getting disability for his knee).  But she asked him if he needs help showering, feeding himself, going to the toilet, all of which he answered he does not need any help..I could've screamed..! He needs help with everything...!!!! He is a foolishly proud man and does not like to admit he needs help..he is his own worst enemy in that regard, so to speak..

But I mean, it was obvious that he needs lots of help,  even getting up from the wheelchair  and back into the wheelchair..but still, I feel like that doesn't matter, and him answering those questions in denial like he did, is all that matters..But suddenly he had this strength and wanted to show he is able of taking care of himself, which he clearly is not and does not take care of himself..

Oh and then the examiner asked him to remove his knee brace when he was on the exam table, which I typically have to help him, but he got snotty with me and pushed me away, saying feisty tone that he wanted to do it himself....so I'm sure that did not help him, either..At home I have to help him with everything..EVERYTHING...

I am sure he is going to be denied.. Guess we can appeal..? He clearly can't take care of himself, but all the VA is going to see are the answers to his questions, that he was in big denial with..***sigh***...

 

 

[ParadigmGuy]

Sorry to hear that. When I went in for mine, the provider initially didn't allow my caregiver in the room. After I started yelling at her she asked me to calm down and then allowed my caregiver in the room. I think that the providers are told to direct all questions to the veteran.

[msh789]

7 minutes ago, ParadigmGuy said:

Sorry to hear that. When I went in for mine, the provider initially didn't allow my caregiver in the room. After I started yelling at her she asked me to calm down and then allowed my caregiver in the room. I think that the providers are told to direct all questions to the veteran.

I guess it's how they do things. To me it makes sense to have the caregiver there, but after all, this is the government. A lot of times elderly veterans have trouble answering questions, which my father does. But it's how it is when you go there. Doesn't make sense, but yeah, it's how they do things. 

[broncovet]

Not necessarily will you be denied.  I have seen it more than once.  You go to the doc, he's gruff, and you think..yea..this guy is gonna be a very negative exam...up until you read it and find out that was just the way the doc was..kinda course, but gave a great c and p report.  

My doc did just that.  I thought..gee..this guy does not like me at all.  Then I read his exam.  Nexus, and everthing I needed.  I will likely get housebound, also, because he opined I was housebound, and the Va has no refutation to that.  Wait for the exam and read it.  Then decide.  

On the flip side of that, sometimes you get an examiner who is nice as pie.  Even "gooey sweet".  Then you read the exam and they write that you are a malinger and that all your benefits, if you have any, should be forfeitted.  I actually got one of those also.  While that examiner's opinion conflicted with about 18 other doctors I have had over the past 20 years, I still thought bad things would come of it.  Nothing.  The good news is that VA lost that one.  It wasnt in the RBA.  Sometimes, VA's inefficiencies are good!!  

Edited January 17, 2019 by broncovet

[Richard1954]

When I was granted A&A  I did not have to go for any exams. I had been having problems with doing many of the things that people do daily. My biggest problem was putting on my AFO because I cannot bend over, and I could not do any cooking because I am on oxygen. I also did not wash my own clothing  but my wife always took care of that anyway. I do have problems dressing my self because I cannot move like I use to move,. Anyway .. what I did was take some advice from VAWatchdog.org , there was an article on there that recommend veterans write their own nexus letters concerning anything in my case Aid and Attendance, then take the letter to your VA primary care doctor and asked them to review and sign it if they agreed. So basically, I wrote my letter that recommended aid and attendance, it covered all the bases concerning my disabilities, and  the types of help I needed on a daily basis  for everyday living.  My Doctor reviewed the letter, then told me to take it to the Secretary, have her copy it to va letterhead, and bring it back to him and he would sign in.. Took me all of about 45 minutes to get it done.  I was already rated housebound because of 100+60 so that may of helped, and getting rated 100% for COPd also helped, in the end I was awarded Aid & Attendance + 50 , so I got @ L 1/2 rates.  Maybe the va rater considered the letter as my exam, but I was never required to take any exam it was just granted.  Also you do not have to be totally dependent on someone else,  for example,  I can feed myself,  take a shower without help ( sure I am sitting but I can do it)... and I can put my own shirts on, just can get my paints on without help because of my back, knee injuries. I also can't put my braces on by myself... the point you don't have to be totally dependent to get a&A....

[Navy04]

Sorry to hear of your bad experience, I tell many Vets that those A&A exams are Brutal no matter who the Doc is. Just part of the process itself. When I did my A&A exam, the Doc did not want my wife in there either at first. A&A along with other higher levels of VA pay, are under very heavy Magnifying glass by the VA. Of course the Govt does not want to grant more money to Sick Vets, even though we deserve it. Anyone that thinks a Veteran will get rich on any form of Disability Pay, is Dumbfounded, yet that is what most of the Govt believes. That is why these exams and the process is getting so Ridiculous even for a well deserving older Veteran such as your father. I am in my late 30s and I just dont have a positive outlook on the future of the VA or the way they treat us. So sorry for you and your father. I have had 5 or 6 exams seem awful, yet the VA Rater granted them anyways. So try to be positive, atleast you made it thru the Trenches thus far. God Bless!!!

[msh789]

Thanks for the replies. And particularly Richard's case, God Bless you... 

I guess my main concern is how my father downplayed his problems.. The examiner could clearly see his huge trouble/impossibility in even getting in and out of his wheelchair on his own. But I'm afraid the final reviewer will only see that dad told the examiner that he feeds himself, showers himself, dresses himself, toilets by himself, and cooks himself..all of which is totally untrue!! And it burned my muffin that all I could do was sit there and say nothing bc the examiner told me to shut up.. 

I help him get dressed, I help him into and out of the shower, he does feed himself but he makes a mess that I have to always clean up..food all over himself, the table, the floor..but he is stubborn (and truthfully, can get downright mean) and insists on feeding himself..and he sure as heck does not cook..He might start to cook one meal himself a week, but he gets it started, and I always have to finish it! I do all the cooking and cleanup for him.....not that I mind, but he just denied all of this to the examiner!! 

The only good thing is his PCP from the VA did write a good report on his paper that we turned in..On it she diagnosed him with:  Osteoarthritis,  Arthralgia of knee (he got his knee hurt in Korean war), Neck pain and Essential hypertension. 

Then she did say on the paper work that we submitted that he does need help bathing, getting dressed, preparing his meals; due to pain and ambulation difficulties.   The only thing that I know is actually conflicting is on the paperwork, the PCP put (among many things) that he cannot bend and extend knee. At the exam, the examiner had him bend and extend his knee, and while he had trouble doing so, he eventually did. He also has a strong grip (if shaky). 

But the paperwork turned in by his PCP said pretty much everything that he needs, and his problems/cannot complete with daily activities. But then at the exam he denied all of this..and I'm thinking that is all the final reviewer will see, is what he told the examiner...and while he did struggle to bend and extend his knee, he eventually did do so..and while it was a struggle, my fear is that he did finally bend and extend, regardless of the difficulty and pain....The PCP did write a lot down for the restrictions, but I cannot even read what she wrote....not sure how the reviewer will read it..I guess that's why they wanted the exam..

 

 

 

 

Edited January 22, 2019 by msh789