I think my dad blew it for his aid and attendance exam....

[msh789]

I've been my father's caretaker since 2009. He only recently filed for aid and attendance. I do pretty much everything for him..laundry, cooking, cleaning, helping him get dressed, grocery shopping for him, taxi cab for his appointments, helping him climb into bed at night.. 

At his aid and attendance exam, I was a little put off by the examiner. I tried to explain what I do for him, but she told me basically to shut up and she wanted him to answer....The man is 88 years old...it was obvious he was having trouble even getting into and out of the office and onto and off of the exam table (for his knee, which is service connected and he is getting disability for his knee).  But she asked him if he needs help showering, feeding himself, going to the toilet, all of which he answered he does not need any help..I could've screamed..! He needs help with everything...!!!! He is a foolishly proud man and does not like to admit he needs help..he is his own worst enemy in that regard, so to speak..

But I mean, it was obvious that he needs lots of help,  even getting up from the wheelchair  and back into the wheelchair..but still, I feel like that doesn't matter, and him answering those questions in denial like he did, is all that matters..But suddenly he had this strength and wanted to show he is able of taking care of himself, which he clearly is not and does not take care of himself..

Oh and then the examiner asked him to remove his knee brace when he was on the exam table, which I typically have to help him, but he got snotty with me and pushed me away, saying feisty tone that he wanted to do it himself....so I'm sure that did not help him, either..At home I have to help him with everything..EVERYTHING...

I am sure he is going to be denied.. Guess we can appeal..? He clearly can't take care of himself, but all the VA is going to see are the answers to his questions, that he was in big denial with..***sigh***...

 

 

[john999]

Since your dad is an 88 year old vet in a wheelchair I have to wonder how the VA can deny him A&A, but they like to slow it down in hopes the vet dies.  They did this with my mother and grandmother who ended their days in a nursing home.  The 
VA just dragged azz until they both died.  For my grandmother the VA said they could not find my grandfather's records.  They did not look.  My mother was only in the nursing home for about 5 months and then died.  The VA was not even warmed up.

[msh789]

11 hours ago, john999 said:

Since your dad is an 88 year old vet in a wheelchair I have to wonder how the VA can deny him A&A, but they like to slow it down in hopes the vet dies.  They did this with my mother and grandmother who ended their days in a nursing home.  The 
VA just dragged azz until they both died.  For my grandmother the VA said they could not find my grandfather's records.  They did not look.  My mother was only in the nursing home for about 5 months and then died.  The VA was not even warmed up.

I am so sorry for your loss and the VA dragging it out..that is my fear (concern more appropriately),  too,  is that if anything...they will drag this out.. if not totally deny him altogether.. as I said,  he was his own worst enemy in the exam.. *sigh*..

[msh789]

I do know that the examiner mentioned that normally these take several months to hear anything back, but she said we should hear something in 6 to 8 weeks..not sure if that is a good sign or not..?