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  • 14 Questions about VA Disability Compensation Benefits Claims

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    When a Veteran starts considering whether or not to file a VA Disability Claim, there are a lot of questions that he or she tends to ask. Over the last 10 years, the following are the 14 most common basic questions I am asked about ...
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  • Most Common VA Disabilities Claimed for Compensation:   

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  • Can a 100 percent Disabled Veteran Work and Earn an Income?

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    You’ve just been rated 100% disabled by the Veterans Affairs. After the excitement of finally having the rating you deserve wears off, you start asking questions. One of the first questions that you might ask is this: It’s a legitimate question – rare is the Veteran that finds themselves sitting on the couch eating bon-bons … Continue reading

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Help needed real bad

Help needed bad Male MST

Question

Is there anything for a man who's been diagnosed with PTSD secondary to MST. I see all this information and it's primarily speaking as if it only happened to females. If anybody has any advice for a man who suffers from this condition please let me know I'm not alone. Also let me know of any coping skills you've learned as I have lived the last 25-30 years of my life in full flight from reality. 

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As we all advise, you are now on the right track. First things first; thankfully you are starting to get some assistance and it is good. Go to a few counceling sessions; you'l see you are not alone. You can do an ITF, but no rush. Do it when you think you can handle it. And don't skip the sessions! We are here when you need us.

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On 5/19/2019 at 10:34 AM, Help needed real bad said:

If anybody has any advice for a man who suffers from this condition please let me know I'm not alone.

@Help needed real bad

Hi, I just noticed this thread and that it seems to have gone silent. Are you doing okay? have you gotten anywhere with treatment?

MST, male or female, is a serious issue and can have long lasting consequences.

This might not sound supportive at first but as you progress you will see it is.

The resolution is in you. The strength is in you. You hold the keys to having a healthier future.

Society has framed sexuality in very odd ways, many of which are not just detrimental, they are destructive. I blame religions and their innate drive to make people feel guilty and not up to their god's standards.

A person who has been sexually assaulted is not at fault, but does have to live with outcome. They can  control those outcomes.

When you allow yourself to let negative social structures guide your mind, you give your attacker the right to live rent free in your soul.

They are not being harmed by this rent free existence; in fact they probably don't remember you and if they do they are pretty happy with themselves over the experience.

Don't give them free rent!

I hope you have found counseling you trust and if the counselor is saying anything I bet they say the same thing; probably phrased more eloquently.

I want to say something else loud and clear.

A persons sexuality, sexual orientation or sexual identity does not define who they are or their value.

Sexual Assault is NOT a measure of the victim and is not a reflection on their masculinity or femininity. They have been victimized by another person.

Sexual assault is a power grab, a way to show dominance and control. To minimize others so the assaulter can feel big and powerful when in truth they are a coward and foul creature to their core.

Allowing perceived social mores and standards to weigh on you is just a further assault on your person and you can stop accepting those things internally. You can do that. No one can do it for you, but we can stand beside you and behind you as you take the steps out of being a victim into being a survivor, a winner, a good person who has faced a problem and conquered it.

It may be fight against decades of indoctrination into those crappy standards and social perceptions but only you can fight that fight.

@Help needed real bad I don't know you but I do know you. You are a service member, a veteran, a man, an American, and a Human. You are worthy of respect and worthy of respecting yourself.

please, if you get the notification of this message, come back. join the forums, see the things other veterans are experiencing and see the things they are overcoming.

We are all here to get strength and to lend strength.

you are one of us. you are our brother no matter when you served or how you were harmed you are in our family.

Good luck, I hope we hear from you soon.

 

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On 5/19/2019 at 12:34 PM, Help needed real bad said:

Is there anything for a man who's been diagnosed with PTSD secondary to MST. I see all this information and it's primarily speaking as if it only happened to females. If anybody has any advice for a man who suffers from this condition please let me know I'm not alone. Also let me know of any coping skills you've learned as I have lived the last 25-30 years of my life in full flight from reality. 

You are not alone!  You will never be alone!  This trauma caused you pain in a way some of us here will never understand.  

I have had my own demons to slay over the years some I knew I had and others were so ingrained I had no idea how to deal with them.  This story has nothing to do with your experience, just to give you some tools to deal with trauma.  

I was born into a Cult.  I was brain washed from a very young age.  The abuse to place over 18 years until I finally left.  I had to leave behind my 11 siblings where I was living(Knowing I would be allowed to have a relationship with them).  I left in 1999/2000 and joined the Military in 2001.  I had never had time to process what had happened to me as a child.  I did not realize my dad was having sex with his daughters.  I was always taught to suck it up and be a MAN!  I was told there is no one who can help you!  There is only you!

Almost everything I was taught from a young age was a lie!.  I blamed myself for many years and was told I was the problem and how could you do this to your family?  

I have dealt with this by allowing myself to feel again.  I had blocked myself behind so many walls I was hollow inside.  I did not love myself or anyone I was in a relationship with.  I allow myself to remember!  I allow myself to cry!  I allow myself to forgive me!  I allow myself to love!

It took me a long time to realize how to love myself, I had told myself I was not worthy of love.  

Letting yourself back into your life and forgiving yourself are the hardest part of trauma.  The events happened and they will not go away.  The pain is there and will not go away.  You have an injury no one else can see, it is so deep and painful.  I had a wound like this and I found a friend who helped me heal myself.  My wife had a lot to do with it, but in the end the friend was me.  I was causing the wound to stay open and fester, I did not want to get better.  I wanted to pain because I deserved the pain.  I was to weak to deal with it.

I just want you to know we are here for you and you are loved!  You have support from all of us here!  

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I am glad treatment is working out for you right now.  Other times it will feel like it is not helping and you will want to quit.  Do not do this.  Working with a stress disorder is a long and involved process and there will be ups and downs.  I am finally getting a handle on my disorder thirty years after the fact, that is with counseling continuously.  I sometimes feel like a professional patient.  Some things place scars on your emotions and brain that are hard to find and deal with.  Funny thing, last night we had dinner with some friends who we have known 19 years and the wife told me I was finally acting like a normal person.  A backhanded complement but  a complement nether the less. 

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