Field examiner to see dad's competency..questions..and firearms question..

[msh789]

Long story short,an examiner determined dad incompetent to manage his finances. My brother and I both stated in 2 exams (knee exam and A&A exam) that my brother and I manage dad's finances.  But long story short, they are going to call to set up an appt to have a field examiner come to see dad's competency. A family member might be appointed if dad requests (which likely he will), but my question is, they ask for (2) character witnesses. I basically have become a hermit in taking care of dad..I really never see anybody other than in passing at the grocery store these days. I can provide the character witnesses, but my question is, do they ask the witnesses how often they see me..? Because I really never see anybody these days..I lead the life of a nun, which anyone who knows me would say, but if the examiner asks the witnesses how often they see me, or the last time the person saw me, that could be.."hardly ever" or "several years now"..

Now, my other question is about some Brady Handgun Violence Prevention law about firearms. I am licensed to carry and I legally own a  firearm that is locked up and only I and my brother have the key to access. Dad lives with me, so while he has no access to the key (hence, nor the gun for that matter), I still worry about this....Should this pose a problem..?  

 

 

[GBArmy]

My opinion, there is no gun problem. As long as you follow the state and local laws, you own the guns and they are secured by you. Your dad has nothing to do with it. As to character witness, I wouldn't worry too much about it. As long as people you I.D. respond that you are if good character, you should be ok. I wouldn't bring it to there attn. that it concerns you that they might have a problem. Can your brother act as the finance guru if he is chosen instead? If so, you and he let it be known, but you are your dad's first choice.

[GeekySquid]

question 1)

there really isn't a set formula for what they will ask your character witnesses. They should be truthful.

if they know what you are doing, taking care of dad, and they know that is a full time job, that is a reasonable explanation for having a reduced social life.

If you have had more than sporadic contact via email, text, phone, then it really should not raise an eyebrow that you are not going out and hanging with your buds.

question 2) the gun thing. you don't list your city and state so there is no way to tell what any local laws might be involved. If your father, you and your brother, don't have violent criminal backgrounds this should not be a problem. His conditions, based on your post, are physical problems not really mental health related.

Managing an ill/aging parents finances is not in and of itself a red flag for anything. Now if there were others heirs that would contest you two doing that then you have a different legal problem, but not with the VA.

You did not share why the examiner stated he could not handle his finances. Certainly physical conditions can make it very difficult to get out and about to the bank etc. and age does cloud the mind so this really isn't a big deal unless your dad freaks out about it. You say he likely wont' so it should not be a problem from the view of the examiner.

If your dad says "the twins are handling my money for me" then all is good for 95% of the situations out there like yours. The others involve large estates, relatives, etc.

I will guess the examiner will do at least a cursory review for factors of elder abuse, and that is a damn good thing.

It is likely they are going to look to see the living setup and how much A&A you actually provided. Bathing, feeding, diapers etc as appropriate to your fathers health. Things like is the house safe, is it uncluttered and clean. are there rails in the bathtub, chair in the shower etc. Is he able to be left alone, maybe just for short times, maybe longer like a full day while you are out taking care of other stuff or having dinner out.

They might make recommendations for Home Safety Equipment, ramps, even some of the VA programs to help pay for those adaptive needs.

 

[msh789]

1 hour ago, GeekySquid said:

question 1)

there really isn't a set formula for what they will ask your character witnesses. They should be truthful.

Of course!  

Quote

if they know what you are doing, taking care of dad, and they know that is a full time job, that is a reasonable explanation for having a reduced social life. Exactly!

If you have had more than sporadic contact via email, text, phone, then it really should not raise an eyebrow that you are not going out and hanging with your buds.

Yes, we text and chat  

question 2) the gun thing. you don't list your city and state so there is no way to tell what any local laws might be involved. If your father, you and your brother, don't have violent criminal backgrounds this should not be a problem. His conditions, based on your post, are physical problems not really mental health related. 

Oh I am definitely fully law compliant..based on all the local laws too  

Managing an ill/aging parents finances is not in and of itself a red flag for anything. Now if there were others heirs that would contest you two doing that then you have a different legal problem, but not with the VA.  

Right..thanks.  

You did not share why the examiner stated he could not handle his finances. Certainly physical conditions can make it very difficult to get out and about to the bank etc. and age does cloud the mind so this really isn't a big deal unless your dad freaks out about it. You say he likely wont' so it should not be a problem from the view of the examiner.

Mainly it's age related. He's 88 years old.

If your dad says "the twins are handling my money for me" then all is good for 95% of the situations out there like yours. The others involve large estates, relatives, etc. 

I'm confused here..I thought only 1 person could handle his finances..? My brother lives an hour away. 

I will guess the examiner will do at least a cursory review for factors of elder abuse, and that is a damn good thing. 

Oh I agree! 

It is likely they are going to look to see the living setup and how much A&A you actually provided. Bathing, feeding, diapers etc as appropriate to your fathers health. Things like is the house safe, is it uncluttered and clean. are there rails in the bathtub, chair in the shower etc. Is he able to be left alone, maybe just for short times, maybe longer like a full day while you are out taking care of other stuff or having dinner out.

Right..understood..He does have one of those chairs that electrically lifts him up so it's easier to get up, rails on his bed, rails on the commode, in the bathtub, a chair in the shower..stair glide..

They might make recommendations for Home Safety Equipment, ramps, even some of the VA programs to help pay for those adaptive needs.

Cool!! 

Thanks so much!!

 

[GeekySquid]

18 minutes ago, msh789 said:

I'm confused here..I thought only 1 person could handle his finances..? My brother lives an hour away. 

every state is different. One person is named as a conservator, or two or more can share that task. You can even have a company like a law firm or accounting firm take the task. Depends on the situation. If you and your brother are in agreement, it makes legal sense to have the alternate set in place prior to any surprise situation that the primary person gets involved with.

I have zero idea what your arrangement with your brother is or how strong your relationship, and I am not asking. I will just say that sometimes in these situations things can become contentious between family members; often over the most nick-knacky things. With that in mind it is really best for everyone to get the hard questions answered up front as well as defining primary and secondary roles in terms of decision making.

One thing to consider for estate planning purposes is to establish a trust for his assets with the distribution set into the trust. Estates, even small ones, can have tax consequences depend on assets.

Not asking about your situation, just suggesting that while you are doing all this for your dad, consulting an estate attorney may be a choice you should consider.

sounds like you have accident proofed things pretty well. maybe a ramp or some such would help, widened doorways in case a wheel chair is in his future. but otherwise you sound to be well situated.

Good luck. Don't sweat the visit. Don't behave in anyway other than you normally would if a neighbor was coming over.

[msh789]

Thanks for all the replies..so much excellent info, suggestions,  and things to consider..