Update on Buck's wife

[Berta]

from Buck:

"She has Double Pneaumonia  and her lungs are both filled  as they hope the antionbiotics /durritics start to work she been under the ventilator noe 3 days.  with no sign of improvement  so prayers are certainly welcome.

I can go up there and see her but she is sleep and unresponsevive  its sad to see her this way, she was tested 3 times for covid and was all negitive..Thank God,

Dr's say she should start showing improvment soon if not they are going to try some other type of antibiotics,,,,we'll see

she was scheduled fore her gallbaldder today 9/16/21   but thats all canceled   they did remove her drain bag and tubes  MRI shows no infection in her gallbladder  and its of normal size and the Dr said she can have that surgery at a later date  right now they care concerend about the pneaumonia."

It is good news that the gallblader infection i gone.But this is a very serious situation.

They need many prayers and her doctors should be prayed for too. A friend of mine (Veteran)was in critical condition the last 2 weeks with pneumonia but the doctors are trying a different antibiotic on him, and the news yesterday was that he was imroving a lot.

I get the pneumonia shot every year but I understand it does not prevent some types of pneumonia. Still it is protection from some of it- and I ALWAYS get the Flu shot-(but I did get the 4th Quadrant of flu a year ago- that the flu shot did not protect us from.

I have a few friends who refuse the COVID Vaccine. Covid is still in this area of NY. They stay at home most of the time. 

 

 

[GBArmy]

Berta please pass along to Buck that we are all pulling for her and those of us that do have been praying for her. I hope Buck has a support system for himself also, That is a very lonely road he is traveling and to have someone looking in on him helps a great deal.

And thank you Berta for being the Point  for us on Hadit on this; it minimizes what he has to deal with from well-meaning folks inquiries.

[Berta]

GBA, he does belong to a church and they too are praying for him-and his adult children check on him and their sother's status ,as well- but you are so poignantly correct in what you said-

"it can be a lonely road he is on," and I was on that road twice, with my 2 dead veteran husbands, and I got lots of "well meaning inquirys" but only God's grace got me through it all.

 

I realized too that he does not need  PMs from members ,because he is so overwhelmed as it is.

Thanks for your insight into this GBArmy. I appreciate all you do here, in so many ways ,for our Nation's veterans.

 

[Berta]

Update from Buck:

"Ms Berta

I write with a Heavy Heart Today 

Not good news today, she has been placed in the after life care  and is on hospice at this time, , she can go anytime, they say within 24 hours  unless God Intervenes.

but now I have to make a major decision  to remove the ventilator today. its the hardest decision for me in my lifetime.

I have accepted her death through the grace of God. (Praise God)

Now my question

Can she be buried in the Veterans National Cemetery  at Dallas/Ft Worth?

 I have attended funerals there for fellow veterans  and one  time the daughter of the veteran mother died 5 years before him   and when  her farther died(the veteran)  she had her  mother ashes placed beside his grave  or in it with him  they both were cremated.

one more question   

my wife had said she wanted to be cremated  when she goes...and I told her I am not sure I could live with that  knowing your body was all burned to ashes.

she then said   well if that bothers you  then you don't have to do that....but her mind she wanted to be cremated.  its a hard decision for me.

Please give me your opinion and your advise.

I have no one else to ask  other than my pastors at church.

but I been knowing you now for years and Brenda Knows you too, she has read some on hadit  and she once told me you were the best advocate any veteran could have  and we both are so very thankful to you me Berta.

Please say a prayer for me and my family.

God Bless You Ms Berta

Britt & Brenda  aka Buck52

 

ps .you can post this on hadit if you think i/we can get some good answers on the National Veterans Cemetery in Dallas/Ft Worth...Tx"

I will find the National Cemetery regulations for spouse of veteran burials.

[Berta]

g.  Spouses and Dependents

            (1)  The spouse, surviving spouse or dependent of an eligible Veteran or member of the Armed Forces may be eligible for interment in a national cemetery even if that Veteran is not buried or memorialized in a national cemetery.  

            (2)  The surviving spouse of an eligible Veteran who had a subsequent remarriage to a non-Veteran and whose death occurred on or after January 1, 2000, is eligible for burial in a national cemetery, based on his or her marriage to the eligible Veteran.

            (3)  The minor children of an eligible Veteran.  For purpose of burial in a national cemetery, a minor child is a child who is unmarried and:

            (a)  Who is under 21 years of age; or,

            (b)  Who is under 23 years of age and pursuing a full-time course of instruction at an approved educational institution.

            (4)  The unmarried adult child of an eligible Veteran.  For purpose of burial in a national cemetery, an unmarried adult child is:

            Of any age but became permanently physically or mentally disabled and incapable of self-support before reaching 21 years of age, or before reaching 23 years of age if pursuing a full-time course of instruction at an approved educational institution.  Proper supporting documentation must be provided."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is part of the VA Burial requirements regarding the spouses of living Veterans.
https://www.cem.va.gov/burial_benefits/eligible.asp#:~:text=(1) The spouse%2C surviving,memorialized in a national cemetery.&text=(3) The minor children of an eligible Veteran.

Sometimes an autopsy is done , and that might suggest  cremation. I say 'might'-but I believe that is entirely up to the family and to the wishes of the deceased.

Here in NY ,since my husband was an organ donor, he was autopsied and cremated, per his wishes and buried at a National Cemetery.
That was 27 years ago and it astonishes me to see how much both the Cremains Section and the Casket section of the cemetery have filled up.

In order for me to be buried there with him, I have to be cremated as well. As I understand it, they cannot put a casket under a cremains vault or on top of it.
I am an organ donor as well, and want to be cremated.

At the Burial for him I was given the Cemetery  plot deed and had to check the proper spelling of my name for the headstone.

Buck's situation could happen to any veteran  here with a spouse who dies before they do.

 

[Berta]

Also , here in NY and I suppose in every state ,I asked th undertaker for some of my husband's ashes to take home with me and that was not a problem.

This is the web site for the National Cemetery in Dallas Texas:

https://www.cem.va.gov/cems/nchp/dallasftworth.asp

I have given advice here in the past on Military Funeral for veterans.

I wrote my USMC husband's obitury myself and th undertaker checked it all with his DD214-215 and it was printed in the local papers verbatim to what I wrote.

Good thing I did that-The American Legion saw the Obit and had enough time before the burial date to get the Color Gurd and gun volley ready, and get their unitofrms ready too, as well as the bullets,too.

27 years ago it seemed neither  undertakers or the VA National Cemetery Offices were taking the steps to do that, when the veteran was eligible for a full military funeral.

A widow here in NY made quite a stink many years ago ( I dont blame her) when her dead veteran spouse's funeral was devoid of any Color Guard or gun Volley -maybe they did play TAPs, and he was fully eligible for a Military Funeral.

I hope surviving spouses now get the proper info on that.

 

 

 

 

[john999]

Really sorry to hear about Buck's loss.  Hard decisions to make.