Tax Dollars Hard At Work

[free_spirit_etc]

Well - my tax dollars are hard at work keeping people busy.

I called the VA to report my husband's death - and they said that the payment for Feb (the month of his death) will have to be returned. I asked "isn't that payable to the spouse? THey said NO.

I was going by this:

TITLE 38--VETERANS' BENEFITS

PART IV--GENERAL ADMINISTRATIVE PROVISIONS

CHAPTER 53--SPECIAL PROVISIONS RELATING TO BENEFITS

Sec. 5310. Payment of benefits for month of death

(a) If, in accordance with the provisions of section 5110(d) of this

title, a surviving spouse is entitled to death benefits under chapter

11, 13, or 15 of this title for the month in which a veteran's death

occurs, the amount of such death benefits for that month shall be not

less than the amount of benefits the veteran would have received under

chapter 11 or 15 of this title for that month but for the death of the

veteran.

((1) If the surviving spouse of a veteran who was in receipt of

compensation or pension at the time of death is not entitled to death

benefits under chapter 11, 13, or 15 of this title for the month in

which the veteran's death occurs, that surviving spouse shall be

entitled to a benefit for that month in the amount of benefits the

veteran would have received under chapter 11 or 15 of this title for

that month but for the death of the veteran.

(2) If (notwithstanding section 5112((1) of this title) a check or

other payment is issued to, and in the name of, the deceased veteran as

a benefit payment under chapter 11 or 15 of this title for the month in

which death occurs, that check or other payment (A) shall be treated for

all purposes as being payable to the surviving spouse, and ( if that

check or other payment is negotiated or deposited, shall be considered

to be the benefit to which the surviving spouse is entitled under

paragraph (1). However, if such check or other payment is in an amount

less than the amount of the benefit under paragraph (1), the unpaid

amount shall be treated in the same manner as an accrued benefit under

section 5121 of this title.

I figured that meant I got to keep his $255 (and if I finally get his SC award -- then they will deduct the $255 they already paid.

Now they sent me a letter that said the money has to be repaid -- but that spouses may have certain benefits --and to call the number if I think I am entitled.

So I would call the SAME people that told me I wasn't entiteld to $255.

As my husband was retired - I also contact the Defense Accounting people to report his death. They did not mention that the deposit they made on Feb 1 (he died on Feb 5) would have to be repaid.

They sent me a claim form for unpaid benefits - and still didn't inform me that I would have to return what was already paid that month. In small print at the bottom of the form it says to return any uncashed checks -- like you would not cahs a check at the beginning of the month --but wait to make sure you live through the whole month before you spend it.

Now I am reading that you have to live the WHOLE month to earn the check for that month. You have to send the money back - and then they send a prorated check for the number of days you lived.

So in this case - I guess I have to send back his retirement payment for February -and they will send his daughter (his beneficiary of record) a check for FIVE days).

What gets me is that nobody told me!!! But it looks like as soon as I send them the death certificate - they will suck it out of our bank account.

I even went to the Defense Accounting site. It says as soon as you report the death --they will freeze the account to PREVENT overpayments. Well - unless you die on the last day of the month - it looks like you have already BEEN overpaid.

It just sure would be nice if THEY would TELL you that!!!! Instead of letting you think it is all straight and then running across the dirty details on other web sites.

Geez!!1

And it is not just the military.

I tried to apply for Social security for my sin (adult disabled child). They wouldn't let him apply at first because they asked if he had worked --and he said yes - so they said he was not disabled.

I informed them that he worked for 6 weeks out of 27 years - and that he was declared disbaled by SSI in 1993. So then they decided to let him apply -- but then they sent him a disability report.

I called and asked -- do we have to fill this out - You have already FOUND him disabled 13 years ago. The question is whether he can be considered a dependent on my husband's record (as a step-child, adopted child, or equitbaly adopted child -- my husband was in the process of adopting him --and the adoption will still probably go through.)

They said since this was a different program (SSD - not SSI) they would have to have all the paperwork to decide if he was disabled --though the standards are the same for both programs -- and though it was THEIR doctors that found him disbaled --and have continued to do so.

So I spent a couple of hours filling out all of their forms -- took them with me -- and the case worker said she didn't need to see the forms because he had already been declared disbaled.

ACK!!!!!

Now they are telling me I can't apply for Mother's benefits -- because you can only get those if the child is PHYSICALLY disabled and you provide physical care (though their regualtions CLEARLY state you can claim if your child is mentally disabled and you provide guidance and supervision. - You can not claim if the child is physically disbaled and you don't have to provide care --if they are over 18. But you CAN claimif they are mentally disabled)

ACK!

I can't even appeal the decisions they are making because they aren't actual denials -- they have to let me submit a claim before I can appeal!!!

ACK!

Way too much to deal with...

But it sure would help if the government workers KNEW what their own regulations were - instead of just spouting off whatever they THINK they might be.

Free

[Berta]

Free Spirit- in Spring 2005 the VA published an Erratum as to the way they were going to handle the last VA comp check of the veteran:

http://72.14.209.104/custom?q=cache:cnQ6sU...381742111066612

Lots of mumbo jumbo- I havent read it yet-but it was a change to the old regs-

they whipped Rods last VA comp out of our bank account so fast he wasnt even cold yet-

I got it back -I think- you know I am not really sure -will have to check that-

But I am curious- the $255 check-was that the SSA death benefit?

I am sure than a dependent spouse is entitled to the comp for the last month the vet lived-meaning you could not keep March comp but you should be able to keep Feb comp-unlike the old regs I fell under-

SO TRUE:

"But it sure would help if the government workers KNEW what their own regulations were - instead of just spouting off whatever they THINK they might be."

You are SO right- that goes for VA , even SSA sometimes, and for chartered vet orgs too-

they dont know an answer so they make one up-

Free-spirit I will try to see if I can find more info on the last check he had.

Being a widow for me -meant finding people who couldnt give me s straight answer too-

My SSA went OK-only because my daughter was under 16 when Rod died.

They changed my check right over the phone to the newer benefit due to his death.

Now I am thinking I never did get any VA due Rod for the month of his death.

I hope this doesnt sound sexist or politically incorrect but I noticed that vet reps deal with widows sometimes in a very unusual way- they act like the regs arent really for us when , in fact, they are-

the guy at the DAV gave me bad advise right from the gitgo and told me I had no basis for my 2 claims when Rod died.

He found out when I deposed him for a suit I filed against him- how wrong he really was-

I think this guy saw women as potentially victims for his own Vietnam demons-(he was 30% PTSD)

he treated me like dirt until the deposition.

Then he changed.

Men -please do not take offense at all this- it is just that

widows for some reason appear vulnerable to people who might try to take advantage.that includes men AND women too-I always hope that widows here and God forbid the widows your deaths will create (please dont die) will not the same treatment I did until people saw I could not be intimidated or victimized.

[free_spirit_etc]

GREAT info!! Again -- I wonder why they said I would have to give it back so that they could send me a letter that told me if I think I should get it I should call the 800 number.

Well - of course people don't call the 800 because they 800 number already TOLD them they couldn't have it.

And -oops -- it was $225 --20% disabled.

Interesting to note though -- If you send in a DIC claim form with your request for the last month of pay -- then they HOLD the last month of pay -- until they decide the DIC -- So since I have already waited this long I might as wel wait another week or two before I file DIC -- so they will let me keep the $225 that I need NOW!

But it also says that the payment for the final month is taken OFF the DIC payment you finally get --UNLESS you wait a year to file DIC.

I sure won't wait that long -since I have to start over with his case anyway (time waiting-wise that is). I am sure it is much simpler for those who got service connection granted before their death. I guess if you file when you are 20 and live a long life those things are possible.

Yep. The "woman thing" . I get really aggravated by people treating me like I am an idiot.

Free

Free Spirit- in Spring 2005 the VA published an Erratum as to the way they were going to handle the last VA comp check of the veteran:

http://72.14.209.104/custom?q=cache:cnQ6sU...381742111066612

Lots of mumbo jumbo- I havent read it yet-but it was a change to the old regs-

they whipped Rods last VA comp out of our bank account so fast he wasnt even cold yet-

I got it back -I think- you know I am not really sure -will have to check that-

But I am curious- the $255 check-was that the SSA death benefit?

I am sure than a dependent spouse is entitled to the comp for the last month the vet lived-meaning you could not keep March comp but you should be able to keep Feb comp-unlike the old regs I fell under-

SO TRUE:

"But it sure would help if the government workers KNEW what their own regulations were - instead of just spouting off whatever they THINK they might be."

You are SO right- that goes for VA , even SSA sometimes, and for chartered vet orgs too-

they dont know an answer so they make one up-

Free-spirit I will try to see if I can find more info on the last check he had.

Being a widow for me -meant finding people who couldnt give me s straight answer too-

My SSA went OK-only because my daughter was under 16 when Rod died.

They changed my check right over the phone to the newer benefit due to his death.

Now I am thinking I never did get any VA due Rod for the month of his death.

I hope this doesnt sound sexist or politically incorrect but I noticed that vet reps deal with widows sometimes in a very unusual way- they act like the regs arent really for us when , in fact, they are-

the guy at the DAV gave me bad advise right from the gitgo and told me I had no basis for my 2 claims when Rod died.

He found out when I deposed him for a suit I filed against him- how wrong he really was-

I think this guy saw women as potentially victims for his own Vietnam demons-(he was 30% PTSD)

he treated me like dirt until the deposition.

Then he changed.

Men -please do not take offense at all this- it is just that

widows for some reason appear vulnerable to people who might try to take advantage.that includes men AND women too-I always hope that widows here and God forbid the widows your deaths will create (please dont die) will not the same treatment I did until people saw I could not be intimidated or victimized.

[Berta]

Your last statement- YEAH!!!!!!!! All of a sudden some people thought I had literally turned into an idiot the day Rod died and tried to give me advise on EVERYTHING-sell your farm, dont sell your farm, see my financial accountant,what a shame -you just got 2 new recliners and now that Rod died you only need one- can I have it, and oh yeah-the mailman said you get insurance company mail-Rod must have had life insurance so can I borrow 500 bucks-

I'm not kidding at all- the vultures are out there-

I get the same take as you do too Free-reading this over- if you ask for this check now before the DIC is awarded -they will send it- otherwise they will wait and add it to the DIC award.DIC took me over 3 years to get- better to ask for this money now.

[Pete53]

I pray that the VA will wake up and treat Veterans and their survivors better.

[Josephine]

Free,

I am so sorry for your loss. but I agree with you on the idiot thing. That is why I just took that GAF of 40 from the VA and see if it benfits me down the road.

To me, women veterans are treated the same way. I do appreciate the respect that I receive on this site. I realize that I am not as knowledgeable of the VA regulations as most, but I am trying.

Always,

Josephine

[free_spirit_etc]

Oh Berta -- how much I know about being treated like an idiot. I have been trying to make a decision on what to do with my husband's truck (owes more than it could be sold for -- bought it last July) And the credit life probably won't pay off even though he told the salesman he had lung cancer -- the salesman sold it to him.

But all you can get in the world out there is 800 numbers staffed by people who can't answer your questions right! Like the truck financing place --the guy says "I never handled a death case before." Geez... They can't tell you if you surrender the vehicle --what fees would be involved -- how much they would probably sell it for -- etc.

I fell like screaming "HELLO! I Just want to have the details so that I can make an INFORMED decision here!!!"

But even the dealership finance manager was just acing like --Oh well -- he's dead --it is not YOUR worry. What are they going to do - sue him??"

I think - well YES! They come against the ESTATE --which affects ME!!!

And I even showed the finance guy where he overcharged my husband. I just couldn't get the numbers to add up -- so I figured it out. The MSRP was $25, thousand and something -- but the little add on sticker was $26 thousand and something (a $1288 difference) because the added on sticker included the auto butler stuff.

My husband didn't want the auto butler -- so they didn't give it to him -- but did NOT take the $1288 off the price of the truck --they still charged him for it -- charged sales tax on it -- and charged finance fees on it.

Now isn't this kind of against the Truth in Lending Act??

But what does the finance guy say??

He didn't give him auto Butler because he didn't WANT it.

I say: Yes - but you still CHARGED him for it!!

He says: Well - I DISCLOSED to him that he wasn't getting it.

Well - dang -- most people would assume that ALSO meant you wouldn't have to pay for it.

But -- you just try to find out what you need to know to make intelligent decisions -- and they are treating you like some crazy broad that is just worried about MINOR details.

They think I should just turn the truck in - forget about the $1288 and the fact that they sold my husband credit life KNOWING he had cancer (and collected their commission) --and not worry my little head over them coming against the estate for the difference between what they sell the truck for and what he owes on it!

ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!

Free

Your last statement- YEAH!!!!!!!! All of a sudden some people thought I had literally turned into an idiot the day Rod died and tried to give me advise on EVERYTHING-sell your farm, dont sell your farm, see my financial accountant,what a shame -you just got 2 new recliners and now that Rod died you only need one- can I have it, and oh yeah-the mailman said you get insurance company mail-Rod must have had life insurance so can I borrow 500 bucks-

I'm not kidding at all- the vultures are out there-

I get the same take as you do too Free-reading this over- if you ask for this check now before the DIC is awarded -they will send it- otherwise they will wait and add it to the DIC award.DIC took me over 3 years to get- better to ask for this money now.

[Chuck75]

I'd take the repayment letter from the VA and the copy of the section of title 38 to your representative. Next, Send the SSS a formal claim letter concerning the child, and again, if possible, the regulatory law, etc. that allows the claim. Again, you may need to get your representative involved. Harassing a veteran's widow is frowned upon.

Besides, the money involved might need to flow through the estate.

Well - my tax dollars are hard at work keeping people busy.

I called the VA to report my husband's death - and they said that the payment for Feb (the month of his death) will have to be returned. I asked "isn't that payable to the spouse? THey said NO.

I was going by this:

TITLE 38--VETERANS' BENEFITS

PART IV--GENERAL ADMINISTRATIVE PROVISIONS

CHAPTER 53--SPECIAL PROVISIONS RELATING TO BENEFITS

Sec. 5310. Payment of benefits for month of death

(a) If, in accordance with the provisions of section 5110(d) of this

title, a surviving spouse is entitled to death benefits under chapter

11, 13, or 15 of this title for the month in which a veteran's death

occurs, the amount of such death benefits for that month shall be not

less than the amount of benefits the veteran would have received under

chapter 11 or 15 of this title for that month but for the death of the

veteran.

((1) If the surviving spouse of a veteran who was in receipt of

compensation or pension at the time of death is not entitled to death

benefits under chapter 11, 13, or 15 of this title for the month in

which the veteran's death occurs, that surviving spouse shall be

entitled to a benefit for that month in the amount of benefits the

veteran would have received under chapter 11 or 15 of this title for

that month but for the death of the veteran.

(2) If (notwithstanding section 5112((1) of this title) a check or

other payment is issued to, and in the name of, the deceased veteran as

a benefit payment under chapter 11 or 15 of this title for the month in

which death occurs, that check or other payment (A) shall be treated for

all purposes as being payable to the surviving spouse, and ( if that

check or other payment is negotiated or deposited, shall be considered

to be the benefit to which the surviving spouse is entitled under

paragraph (1). However, if such check or other payment is in an amount

less than the amount of the benefit under paragraph (1), the unpaid

amount shall be treated in the same manner as an accrued benefit under

section 5121 of this title.

I figured that meant I got to keep his $255 (and if I finally get his SC award -- then they will deduct the $255 they already paid.

Now they sent me a letter that said the money has to be repaid -- but that spouses may have certain benefits --and to call the number if I think I am entitled.

So I would call the SAME people that told me I wasn't entiteld to $255.

As my husband was retired - I also contact the Defense Accounting people to report his death. They did not mention that the deposit they made on Feb 1 (he died on Feb 5) would have to be repaid.

They sent me a claim form for unpaid benefits - and still didn't inform me that I would have to return what was already paid that month. In small print at the bottom of the form it says to return any uncashed checks -- like you would not cahs a check at the beginning of the month --but wait to make sure you live through the whole month before you spend it.

Now I am reading that you have to live the WHOLE month to earn the check for that month. You have to send the money back - and then they send a prorated check for the number of days you lived.

So in this case - I guess I have to send back his retirement payment for February -and they will send his daughter (his beneficiary of record) a check for FIVE days).

What gets me is that nobody told me!!! But it looks like as soon as I send them the death certificate - they will suck it out of our bank account.

I even went to the Defense Accounting site. It says as soon as you report the death --they will freeze the account to PREVENT overpayments. Well - unless you die on the last day of the month - it looks like you have already BEEN overpaid.

It just sure would be nice if THEY would TELL you that!!!! Instead of letting you think it is all straight and then running across the dirty details on other web sites.

Geez!!1

And it is not just the military.

I tried to apply for Social security for my sin (adult disabled child). They wouldn't let him apply at first because they asked if he had worked --and he said yes - so they said he was not disabled.

I informed them that he worked for 6 weeks out of 27 years - and that he was declared disbaled by SSI in 1993. So then they decided to let him apply -- but then they sent him a disability report.

I called and asked -- do we have to fill this out - You have already FOUND him disabled 13 years ago. The question is whether he can be considered a dependent on my husband's record (as a step-child, adopted child, or equitbaly adopted child -- my husband was in the process of adopting him --and the adoption will still probably go through.)

They said since this was a different program (SSD - not SSI) they would have to have all the paperwork to decide if he was disabled --though the standards are the same for both programs -- and though it was THEIR doctors that found him disbaled --and have continued to do so.

So I spent a couple of hours filling out all of their forms -- took them with me -- and the case worker said she didn't need to see the forms because he had already been declared disbaled.

ACK!!!!!

Now they are telling me I can't apply for Mother's benefits -- because you can only get those if the child is PHYSICALLY disabled and you provide physical care (though their regualtions CLEARLY state you can claim if your child is mentally disabled and you provide guidance and supervision. - You can not claim if the child is physically disbaled and you don't have to provide care --if they are over 18. But you CAN claimif they are mentally disabled)

ACK!

I can't even appeal the decisions they are making because they aren't actual denials -- they have to let me submit a claim before I can appeal!!!

ACK!

Way too much to deal with...

But it sure would help if the government workers KNEW what their own regulations were - instead of just spouting off whatever they THINK they might be.

Free

[Chuck75]

Many are not aware that "direct deposit" is also direct removal authorization.

(And it's not limited to the amount under contest)

Therefore direct deposit should be avoided when possible.

"they whipped Rods last VA comp out of our bank account so fast he wasnt even cold yet-

I got it back -I think- you know I am not really sure -will have to check that-"

Free Spirit- in Spring 2005 the VA published an Erratum as to the way they were going to handle the last VA comp check of the veteran:

http://72.14.209.104/custom?q=cache:cnQ6sU...381742111066612

Lots of mumbo jumbo- I havent read it yet-but it was a change to the old regs-

they whipped Rods last VA comp out of our bank account so fast he wasnt even cold yet-

I got it back -I think- you know I am not really sure -will have to check that-

But I am curious- the $255 check-was that the SSA death benefit?

I am sure than a dependent spouse is entitled to the comp for the last month the vet lived-meaning you could not keep March comp but you should be able to keep Feb comp-unlike the old regs I fell under-

SO TRUE:

"But it sure would help if the government workers KNEW what their own regulations were - instead of just spouting off whatever they THINK they might be."

You are SO right- that goes for VA , even SSA sometimes, and for chartered vet orgs too-

they dont know an answer so they make one up-

Free-spirit I will try to see if I can find more info on the last check he had.

Being a widow for me -meant finding people who couldnt give me s straight answer too-

My SSA went OK-only because my daughter was under 16 when Rod died.

They changed my check right over the phone to the newer benefit due to his death.

Now I am thinking I never did get any VA due Rod for the month of his death.

I hope this doesnt sound sexist or politically incorrect but I noticed that vet reps deal with widows sometimes in a very unusual way- they act like the regs arent really for us when , in fact, they are-

the guy at the DAV gave me bad advise right from the gitgo and told me I had no basis for my 2 claims when Rod died.

He found out when I deposed him for a suit I filed against him- how wrong he really was-

I think this guy saw women as potentially victims for his own Vietnam demons-(he was 30% PTSD)

he treated me like dirt until the deposition.

Then he changed.

Men -please do not take offense at all this- it is just that

widows for some reason appear vulnerable to people who might try to take advantage.that includes men AND women too-I always hope that widows here and God forbid the widows your deaths will create (please dont die) will not the same treatment I did until people saw I could not be intimidated or victimized.

[free_spirit_etc]

I know about the vultures too.

I was semi - "with" my husband since 2001. We "broke up" in 2004. He fell madly in love with a former g/f who drove him nuts (it MUST be love -- I feel so crazy). Anyway -- we became BEST friends because I was the only person who could understand what he was going through because she treated him like he had treated me. So I was the only one who could listen while he went on and on about it.

When he was declared inoperable in June 2004 -- Ms. Wonderful only showed up at the hospital ONE time (two days after his surgery). Then she broke up with him by email.

I had stepped in to take care of him until she took over -- and she backed off. So I promised to take care of him as long as he needed me to. (He actually wasn't supposed to live very long).

But he ended up getting better -- and we started taking care of each other -- and were best friends - and pretty inseperable since 2004...and madly in love.

Then - when he cancer returned in 2005 --he proposed. He started with "I don't want to scare you, but.." lol

We already loved and respected each other so much. And he wanted to take care of me. I thought that was so loving that when he was afraid he might not make it - he wanted to do everything he could to make sure I was okay.

He especially wanted to make sure I had a home. But I told him - you better talk to your daughter before you offer me anything. I don't want to lose you -- but if I do - I don't want anyone coming in here and accusing me of taking what was theirs.

So he talked to her. She was happy for us. all she wanted was the grandfather clock. yadayadayada.

We had a beautiful wonderful wedding -- and a beautiful wonderful life together (though WAY too short).

He changed his life insurance to me - to cover the mortgage on the house. Even before he changed it - he would tell me "My daughter knows what I want. And she doesn't want the house or the money. If something happens to me -- she would take the insurance and pay off the house and give it to you."

When he started getting sick - she warned me not to spend all the insurance money -that I would have to pay taxes etc.

Well -- AFTER he died -- and AFTER they found out he really did have insurance --OMG!!

She calls me hysterical --WHy did my dad love you and not ME? Why did my dad want to take care of you and not ME?? Why did my dad trust you and not ME???

I tried to reasssure her that he did love her. But she thought he should have left the money to HER -- because SHE would have taken care of me.

I tried to explain that men don't usually leave their 37 year old daughter money to take care of their 50 year old wife. I am not elderly.

I even paid some god awful amount for a funeral that pleased his whole family -- fuenral here, buried there... a $3600 casket (the one I picked out wasn't good enough --etc.. etc.) and the flowers that said DAD! I even let HER be presented with the FLAG!!

The day after he was buried she came to pick up her clock -- and also took his coin collection - his motor scooter - my jar of quarters - my tanks of propane -- her and her hubby and inlaws were snatching his eagle statues off OUR bookcase. I am still not even sure WHAT all they took yet.

I was flabbergasted! They have changed their story from time to time - that they took the stuff because they were afraid I would leave and they woudn't get anything -- to they took it to their house for safe keeping -- to I volutarily GAVE it to them.

But anyway -- then they started threatening to SUE me for the life insurance. They know there is not enough in his actual estate because his two biggest possessions - the truck and the house have big loans on them. (and the house is about 50 years old and needs fixed up).

She told me the insurance was hers for 36 years. Then she told me he bought it for HER when she was a teenager. She told me he promised it would always be hers. etc etc.

The policy told a different story. He had taken it out during his second marriage and the beneficiary was his wife.

Well - now her tune has changed from why did he love you more than me to "he didn't Love you at all."

That's right. She is telling me it would be okay if he had wanted to take care of me if he loved me -- but he didn't tell HER he was in love with me -- that he just married me so I could have health insurance --and they are accusing me of MAKING him change everything. And still threatening to sue me if I don't give them half of the life insurance.

And then she has the nerve to say "You never CALL me anymore!! You think losing a husband is worse than losing a father!!"

It is hard to be "supportive" of someone who tells you that your husband didn't love you --even if you know that is not true. Someone who would try to take your husband's love away from you -- for their own selfish motives -- ACK!!

I told her --that's odd -- even perfect strangers would always remark about how much we were in love. But she said "Well - I hardly ever saw you.." And then she told me all the excuses of why she couldn't come and see her terminally ill father...

But they just act like I danced in right before he died --and took it all.

And anyone who knows my husband - knows that there is not ANYONE who could make him do something he didn't want to...lol

But, yeah..I know ALL about the vultures.

The sad thing is --that I DID want to share whatever I could with his daughter. But they were so worried that they wouldn't get anything -- and they started shoving me to "settle" the week he died -- and they would not back off and even give me TIME -- Like I don't even know WHAT I am going to end up with yet -- so it is hard to promise them from the unknown --

But they have acted in such a way that I don't think my husband would want me sharing anything with them right now.

Yep. I know all about the vultures. I wish I didn't.

Free

Your last statement- YEAH!!!!!!!! All of a sudden some people thought I had literally turned into an idiot the day Rod died and tried to give me advise on EVERYTHING-sell your farm, dont sell your farm, see my financial accountant,what a shame -you just got 2 new recliners and now that Rod died you only need one- can I have it, and oh yeah-the mailman said you get insurance company mail-Rod must have had life insurance so can I borrow 500 bucks-

I'm not kidding at all- the vultures are out there-

I get the same take as you do too Free-reading this over- if you ask for this check now before the DIC is awarded -they will send it- otherwise they will wait and add it to the DIC award.DIC took me over 3 years to get- better to ask for this money now.

[free_spirit_etc]

Actually, my husband did his research on the Va for his Thesis. It was quite interesting to say the least. But one thing I remember is that women veterans did start getting benefits when men did. The first benefits were just for men.

And actually -- the GI Bill -- wasn't so much to educate the vets - as it was to delay their entrance back into the workforce -- because they had tons of guys coming back home and no jobs to offer them -- and they were afraid of the backlash from the Vets.

But I remember one of my students asking me WHO pays for all these Veternas benefits -- and I remember part of the research showing that it actually MORE than pays for itself.

The pensions - the home loans -- the education - etc... has brought back MORE in revenue and tax dollars than is spent on the benefits.

Something to think about.

Free

Free,

I am so sorry for your loss. but I agree with you on the idiot thing. That is why I just took that GAF of 40 from the VA and see if it benfits me down the road.

To me, women veterans are treated the same way. I do appreciate the respect that I receive on this site. I realize that I am not as knowledgeable of the VA regulations as most, but I am trying.

Always,

Josephine

[free_spirit_etc]

Thanks Chuck! Actually I got my husband SSD. They tried to tell us he didn't have enough work quarters in (because he went back to school after his retirement) and I had to show him how they could go BACK to the time his income dropped below substantial gainful. (when he did have anough quarters).

But I had to show them several times.

I know veterans, unemployment, public aid, etc -- they HAVE to let you apply -- then you can appeal. But I can't find such a regualtion about Social Security. It seems like they are allowed to glance over what you give them - or ask you one or two quetions when you try to apply -- and then tell you that you can't apply because you are not eligible.

I am sure it keeps their backlog down - telling people that they aren't eligble when they are. But it sure isn't right.

I WILL keep fighting... but I feel for those who don't know their rights -- and who leave themselves at the mercy of public servants who may mean well -- but could function a bit better.

Free

I'd take the repayment letter from the VA and the copy of the section of title 38 to your representative. Next, Send the SSS a formal claim letter concerning the child, and again, if possible, the regulatory law, etc. that allows the claim. Again, you may need to get your representative involved. Harassing a veteran's widow is frowned upon.

Besides, the money involved might need to flow through the estate.

[Berta]

Free- dont know if I menioned this to you or another widow here-

one of my vet org referrals is in this DIC predicament- hope you aren't-

Were you married for one year or more before he died?

If not can you prove with notarized statements from friends and family that you lived with him continuously for over a year- if you were not married within a year prior to his death? Do you live in a common law state if you were not married to him for full year prior to death?

You said he proposed in 2005- but I dont know how long you were married-

I posted the DIC definition of surviving spouse here and cant find it-

The VA might need info on his divorce too -not sure-

and even if they already have this info- marriage license, etc they sure might ask again for the same stuff.

[free_spirit_etc]

Berta,

We were married for 10 months and 3 days. I should be able to provide proof that I lived with him for over a year though -- by family / friend statements - also mail recieved at this address (for example -- I collected unemployment in December 05 - January 06 -- and this was my address).

But from what I am reading -- the one year period is only ONE of the requirements -- and since they list OR in between them -- I would think you would only have to meet ONE of the requirements.

Since he retired in 1998 - wouldn't I qualify under the number 1 requirment (Before the expiration of 15 years after termination of the period of service in which the injury or disease which caused the veteran's death was incurred or aggravated)?

§ 3.54 Marriage dates.

top

A surviving spouse may qualify for pension, compensation, or dependency and indemnity compensation if the marriage to the veteran occurred before or during his or her service or, if married to him or her after his or her separation from service, before the applicable date stated in his section.

( Compensation. Death compensation may be paid to a surviving spouse who, with respect to date of marriage, could have qualified as a surviving spouse for death compensation under any law administered by the Department of Veterans Affairs in effect on December 31, 1957, or who was married to the veteran:

(1) Before the expiration of 15 years after termination of the period of service in which the injury or disease which caused the veteran's death was incurred or aggravated, or

(2) One year or more, or

(3) For any period of time if a child was born of the marriage, or was born to them before the marriage.

(Authority: 38 U.S.C. 1102)

© Dependency and indemnity compensation. Dependency and indemnity compensation payable under 38 U.S.C. 1310(a) may be paid to the surviving spouse of a veteran who died on or after January 1, 1957, who was married to the veteran:

(1) Before the expiration of 15 years after the termination of the period of service in which the injury or disease causing the death of the veteran was incurred or aggravated, or

(2) For 1 year or more, or

(3) For any period of time if a child was born of the marriage, or was born to them before the marriage.

(Authority: 38 U.S.C. 1304)

Free- dont know if I menioned this to you or another widow here-

one of my vet org referrals is in this DIC predicament- hope you aren't-

Were you married for one year or more before he died?

If not can you prove with notarized statements from friends and family that you lived with him continuously for over a year- if you were not married within a year prior to his death? Do you live in a common law state if you were not married to him for full year prior to death?

You said he proposed in 2005- but I dont know how long you were married-

I posted the DIC definition of surviving spouse here and cant find it-

The VA might need info on his divorce too -not sure-

and even if they already have this info- marriage license, etc they sure might ask again for the same stuff.

[Berta]

Oh-OK- Free- I see what you mean-

absolutely-

I just hope the VA doesnt question that-

good idea to keep that reg on your desktop or saved as a word.doc-

hope you don't need it but now I see what you mean-

you should be OK as a qualified dependent and surviving spouse.

I had an awful DIC claim some time ago-

I think the woman only married the vet to wait until he croaked.He was so disabled they got married in a hospital. figure that-

She could not satisfy the requirements as surviving spouse at all.

He wasnt even cold and she asked me all about the money- and thought she would continue to get his full comp every month.

Free- I am glad there are not too many people like her out there-

DIC is hard enough to get for us eligible spouses.

I am sure that you will OK on this marital status.

Edited March 20, 2007 by Berta (see edit history)

[free_spirit_etc]

If I had a choice I would rather have had more time with him, instead of the money. He was already "terminally ill" when we got married. However, he had beat the odds before -- and lived a couple years longer than they thought he would. And they were good years.

But I am sure some people will question why I married someone who had little chance of living more than a few years. We were together for several years -- but only married for 10 months.

I thank God for every day we had -- but oh how I wish we had more. I miss him so very much.

Free

Oh-OK- Free- I see what you mean-

absolutely-

I just hope the VA doesnt question that-

good idea to keep that reg on your desktop or saved as a word.doc-

hope you don't need it but now I see what you mean-

you should be OK as a qualified dependent and surviving spouse.

I had an awful DIC claim some time ago-

I think the woman only married the vet to wait until he croaked.He was so disabled they got married in a hospital. figure that-

She could not satisfy the requirements as surviving spouse at all.

He wasnt even cold and she asked me all about the money- and thought she would continue to get his full comp every month.

Free- I am glad there are not too many people like her out there-

DIC is hard enough to get for us eligible spouses.

I am sure that you will OK on this marital status.

[john999]

The idea that a spouse should have to fight to get DIC is repulsive to me. The VA makes one last attempt to cheat the vet out of a benefit by making it hard for the spouse to DIC. I bet a goodly number of spouses probably never get the DIC because they are not up to the struggle after losing a husband or wife. If I make it to the ten year mark I will be rehearsing my wife on what to do to get her DIC. Knowing the VA is paying will make the "Big Sleep" mo' better.

[free_spirit_etc]

I actually think my husband HAD more time -- but lots went wrong at the hospital NOT VA). Eventually the cancer would have gotten him -- but I think we had more time.

He told the doctors he was short of breath for several weeks - and asked for supplemental oxygen. Finally when he got short of breath standing up -- they decided to do an O2 stat on him. It was horrid! They said he either had pneumonia or congestive heart failure.

The doctor on base gave him antibiotics.

Then a couple weeks later he had pains all over from the steorids they gave him. He went to the ER -- and they wanted to keep him - for the pneumonia or congestive heart failure. (no one had decided which it was).

But he didn't want to stay -- so I called his doctor --(or the docotr covering for his doctor and asked if he could give him antibiotics -- and see him -- and if he needed IV antibiotics - order home infusion --so he could stay home. He called in antibiotics (oral.

But when I took him in -- the doctor didn't even look at the chest x-rays or reports I brought -- he just blasted him with chemo. I questioned that because HIS doctor had stopped the chemo while he was sick. I took him for follow up on pneumonia -- he was starting to jaundice -- and the idiot gave him CHEMO! I said "shouldn't we wait until he gets a little stronger? He said that we couldn't afford to wait.

Meanwhile -- a couple of weeks later - after he ran out of antibiotics -- he ended up in the hospital -- with pneumonia --and he was much more jaundiced -- and they found out he had a blocked bile duct. Now he had been to HIS doctor TWICE with the jaundice -- but they ordered tests to be done a couple weeks later.

So after a couple weeks in the hospital - they took him off the IV antibiotics -- and put him on oral (to start getting him ready to go home.) Well -- they had trouble with the pain meds. They used shots until they got a pain patch. They TRIPLED the pain patch dosage -- and kept giving him the SAME amount of shots.

They overdosed him BIG time. It is a good thing I was staying in the room with him because I heard his breathing slow down and he started gurgling. They had to give him Narcan to put him in immediate withdrawal to keep him from dying. (had I not been there they probably would have found him dead and told me that he died "peacefully" in his sleep).

But that (after the overdose) is when he started talking about having the will to live but not knowing if he had the strength anymore. But he kept telling me "I don't want to die. I have finally found happiness - and I don't want to die." But something had changed. It was like something inside of him broke.

Well - the next morning they wanted him OUT of there! They decided he was ready to go home. They couldn't get him out of there fast enough. They didn't like it that he was "full code" either. He would tell them he wanted EVERYTHING done to save his life -- and then they would wisk me out in the hall and try to talk me into a different decision. I told them I would honor my husband's choice (as they SHOULD have).

But they sent him home with NO antibiotic. And guess what - 3 days later we were back at the ER. He went in ICU with pneumonia on Saturday -- and he died Monday.

I do not believe that pneumonia came back. I believe he still had it. In fact he was down to 3 liters of oxygen -- then he went up to 4 - and then 5 WHILE he was in the hospital...BEFORE they sent him home. So looking back - I imagine his pneumonia started flaring back up once they took him off IV antibiotic and switched him to oral. And when they took him off ALL of it -- he ended up back in ICU.

But when you have cancer --everyone just keeps saying it is the cancer. I know he would have lost his battle sooner or later -- but I think had his pneumonia been treated properly -- and had they not overdosed him -- it would have been later.

He had just finished his Masters last fall - and was scheduled to teach this Spring. He had cancer - but he wasn't that "sick." I don't know how much time he could have had left -- but whatever time he had was the rest of his life -- and he deservd it.

Free

Oh-OK- Free- I see what you mean-

absolutely-

I just hope the VA doesnt question that-

good idea to keep that reg on your desktop or saved as a word.doc-

hope you don't need it but now I see what you mean-

you should be OK as a qualified dependent and surviving spouse.

I had an awful DIC claim some time ago-

I think the woman only married the vet to wait until he croaked.He was so disabled they got married in a hospital. figure that-

She could not satisfy the requirements as surviving spouse at all.

He wasnt even cold and she asked me all about the money- and thought she would continue to get his full comp every month.

Free- I am glad there are not too many people like her out there-

DIC is hard enough to get for us eligible spouses.

I am sure that you will OK on this marital status.

[free_spirit_etc]

Actually my husband had so much trouble working on his Thesis. He just got his Master's in sociology. But then he switched his topic to the VA -- and he breezed right through it.

During his oral defense -- he got to cover his "case study" part - his own experience with the VA.

His department chair and a couple of his professors came to the funeral and asked -- So now what happens to his VA claim? Was all that for nothing?

I told them that I would re-activate his claim -- and try to carry it through.

I am not sure about accrued benefits though. We had LOTS of evidence to send in about the absestos exposure. We got buddy statements, a list of buildings that had asbestos at the last base he was, evidence that the Air Force didn't even DO occupational health surveys for asbestos during the 13 years he was an electrician (they had denied him because he didn't have any occupational health surveys and they didn't even DO them at that time)-- but NOW people doing the type of work he did have to wear respirators -- what does THAT tell you?

Anyway - a lot fo that evidence never got there.

That was one of my top priorities during the winter break from school (I had been teaching 10 classes between three schools in the fall and was pretty busy).

But he got sick on the last day of finals week -- and so ALL my time was spent taking care of him --- or standing over him trying to make sure the people who were supposed to be taking care of him were taking care of him.

So -- I ever got that added to his file - because I didn't get it tightened up enough.

And by the time we knew he was getting bad - there was NO WAY I was going to leave him to work on it. I guess I could have just thrown it in an envelope and mailed it --- but I really only came home long enough to feed the cats and pick up clean clothes. (I even showered at the hospital.

I wish we would have gotten it in -- but I don't regret that I put HIM first - instead of his VA claim -- when he really needed me.

I know I can submit the info with DIC -- but if it is what "makes" the claim -- it won't count for accrued - since it wasn't in his file at before his death.

Free

Oh-OK- Free- I see what you mean-

absolutely-

I just hope the VA doesnt question that-

good idea to keep that reg on your desktop or saved as a word.doc-

hope you don't need it but now I see what you mean-

you should be OK as a qualified dependent and surviving spouse.

I had an awful DIC claim some time ago-

I think the woman only married the vet to wait until he croaked.He was so disabled they got married in a hospital. figure that-

She could not satisfy the requirements as surviving spouse at all.

He wasnt even cold and she asked me all about the money- and thought she would continue to get his full comp every month.

Free- I am glad there are not too many people like her out there-

DIC is hard enough to get for us eligible spouses.

I am sure that you will OK on this marital status.

[free_spirit_etc]

John -

I am with you on that. That seemed to be one of my husband's PRIMARY concerns -- was to make sure I could be taken care of if he didn't make it.

(He got me that song a few months ago "If tomorrow never comes will she know how much I love her" I asked him 'Are you saying goodbye?" He said -"No..I just want to make sure if the time comes I am not here - that I have done enough while I am here that it will last you forever." **He was talking about showing me he loved me -- not the VA - but I love to talk about how he gave me that song.

Anyway - something practical I DID find out is that

VA payments are ONE month behind. So the payment my husband recieved IN Feb -- he was entitled to - as he was alive the whole month.

Also -- if the Vet dies at any time in the month -- THEY do not get a payment for the month they died (ie. it isn't paid for the estate)...BUT if they have a surviving spouse -- the spouse is entitled to their last payment.

So in my case -- the $225 my husband got paid in March was actually for February -- so I don't have to send that back.

BUT the toll-free lady told me that when I send in his death certificate I need to send in a statement in support of claim asking that I be allowed to keep the payment as his surviving spouse.

Actually they have a claim form -- a 119 something I think - that THEY can fill out when you call in authorizing the spouse to keep the payment (instead of returning it and being issued a check to HER. But she said it was an internal form - and gave me no idea why she told me to send a statement in support of claim instead of filling out the form their instructions give (the internal one). But she did say that often people tell the spouse they can keep the payment -- but then they get a bill - or someone tries to take it back (thus her advice to fill out the Statement in Support of Claim).

So apparently they don't actually HAVE a claim form that WE can use for the spouse claim -- they have ones THEY can use -- but they don't fill them out.

In my case - I am glad it is only $225 -- because I am not confident they won't try to take it back even though they aren't supposed to.

I also read that if the amount of YOUR check is MORE than DIC -- the spouse gets YOUR check for the month you die -- which is the payment you recieve the FOLLOWING month. If DIC is more -- then the spouse will get the DIC for that month.

So -- tell your wife she SHOULD get the payment of the month of your death and the following month.

Of course, when I called to report his death -- they said I had to send the money back. I said "I thought the payment went to the spouse." She said there was no such thing -- that I had to send the money back - even for the month he died.

Then I got a letter telling me how to send it back -- but it said if you think you are entitled to the spouses benefit for the month of death - to call the 800 number.

So - I callled the same 800 number that had told me there was no such thing as a spouse's benefit.

The woman who answered didn't know - so she looked it up -- and said I get to keep the payments from both Feb and March (he died Feb 5).

But -- I am not sure anyone really knows what they are doing.

But yeah - isn't it a shame that those who are supposed to be caring for those who are injured and their widows don't even know that there IS a spouse award -- or don't know exactly how to make sure it isn't taken away from you if you are supposed to have it. And they have a form for that - but nobody fills it out - and it isn't available for you to fill out yourself.

Free

The idea that a spouse should have to fight to get DIC is repulsive to me. The VA makes one last attempt to cheat the vet out of a benefit by making it hard for the spouse to DIC. I bet a goodly number of spouses probably never get the DIC because they are not up to the struggle after losing a husband or wife. If I make it to the ten year mark I will be rehearsing my wife on what to do to get her DIC. Knowing the VA is paying will make the "Big Sleep" mo' better.

[Guest terrysturgis]

Free, when my father passed away he had a will. It clearly stated that I was to get the estate and distribute it according to his instructions. My sister did not get as much as I felt she deserved so I told her that if her family would help clean up the house I would share half of the estate. Long story short, no help. Then I was filing for my fathers insurance benifits (not very much) I caught my niece, her daughter trying to steal those policies back door. I confronted them and they were shocked that I figured that out. Needless to say I went to plan B, I only gave them exactly what was in the will. My sister sued.

The point I am trying to make is I hope you have an attorney. It did not cost me much and he told the people sueing me to wipe certain parts of there anatomy with the paper that they used to inform me of the law suit.

While you are at it sue that damn car salesman, if for no other reason get him in the court and see if he can possibly tell the truth and nothing but the truth. I doubt he can.

I am sorry to say that nothing brings out the "VULTURES" quicker than a death in the family. Take care of yourself. Terry Sturgis