ptsd What Can I Expect If I Submit This To The Va For My Ptsd

[Guest swells1]

Following being in a tent that was within 100 yards of the Marine Corps Barracks in Beirut Lebanon when it was blown up by a suicide bomber in 1983. I was one of the 6 medics on scene when all of our medical officers except for one dentist and the rest of the medics were killed in the bombing. I was close enough that when the bomb went off, I was thrown approximately 40 feet and when I stood up I was totally deaf for 2 days. For the first 16 or so hours I first worked in a triage station patching up the approximately 60 severly injured Marines & Sailors using new t-shirts and underwear from our px store for "make due" bandages since our medical supplies were mostly blown up in the bombing. Then getting the wounded troops prepped and packaged to go to the ships. When the seriously injured were all triaged to the ships for further care, for the next 72 or some odd hours straight, I was assigned to body & body part search, identify, and recovery for the 241 Marines, Soldiers, & Sailors actually killed in the explosion. Needless to say we did not keep any medical records on ourselves when we could hardly keep records on our patients. So I do not have any records of what little medical care I received post bombing. After all of this stress, we were told that our relief (the ones that were to come to replace us in Beirut) attacked Grenada and would not be coming to relieve us at all. At that moment something inside me snapped and I have never been the same again. I closed off to everyone and avoided any telling me they were there to help except for anyone who said something about going home. I am rarely not agitated, I can’t sleep more than a couple of hours a night, I freak out at the sound of gun fire or explosions which is rough on me, since I work on Fort Hood and hear those sounds all the time, I don’t make friends easily and don’t keep them for long, I love my wife and daughter but it’s very hard sometimes to show it, I’m in constant stress at work and blow up in a very unreasonable/untimely manner, and I am always tired. I am sometimes confused and I have a hard time remembering things I should. Sometimes I can’t remember an employee’s name even when they have worked for me for 5 or more years. I can’t remember dates such as birthdays and anniversaries. It’s very frustrating. Sometimes I fall asleep when I shouldent like in the middle of a class or in meetings at work. This is causing me a lot of distress and management looks at me like I just dont care. I try hard to be alert and I just fall out. I have also been diagnosed with Central Sleep Apnea and have been given a CPAP. Just to give an approximation of the carnage we lived through, I removed this headline from the internet.At 06:20 am on Sunday 10/23/1983 a suicide bomber detonated a truck bomb directed at the Marine barracks that was equivalent to 5,400 kg (12,000 pounds) of TNT. In the attack on the American barracks, the death toll was 241 American servicemen: 220 Marines, 18 Navy personnel and three Army soldiers, along with sixty Americans injured, representing the deadliest single-day death toll for the United States Marine Corps since the Battle of Iwo Jima of World War II, the deadliest single-day death toll for the United States military since the first day of the Vietnam War's Tet Offensive, and the deadliest single attack on Americans overseas since World War II. For surviving this, I received a Navy Expeditionary Medal, a Combat Action Ribbon, a Navy Unit Commendation, and a trip home “not in a box”. I also received a personal thank you letter from Marine Amphibious Unit Commander (the only award that means anything to me).We never received any assistancein the form of mental health on the way home or when we got back. Just a lot of speeches from wind bags about what heros we were and how proud they were of us. That and a lot of "man up, walk it off, and you should be glad… at least you made it home alive" speeches from the Marines / Sailors assigned over us back at Camp Lejune NC.