[Where Do I Begin...which Category?]

Vietnam vet, helicopter pilot.

Below I wrote more than a hello. You don't need to read it unless you need the information to help with my question...where do I need to start...is there a category/blog that I should join?

I thought I was normal and everyone felt the same anxiety and stress that I felt. Thirty two years after 'nam when the Gulf wars started with Quwait I became a 24/7 CNN junky, and eventually figured out I was not OK. Tried several times to get into the VA medical system but missed some deadline, and happened to be employed so I got rated a 6. Eventually noticed a Vet Center and went in. Long story...but I would go to counseling when I lost another job or something else happened...it helped. But then I would drop out when I was back in control because I just couldn't function thinking about this stuff all the time. They did send me to a civilian psychiatrist (don't get me started) and got meds for anxiety and depression and a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression. The meds help and I've been on them for13 years, and know that I need them when I miss a day. Fast forward a few more years and I've ended up in Pensacola, Fl, registration opened up for me when Agent Orange exposure qualified you and I went to the VA medical center here. I got into the system, met with a doctor who said we should look at PTSD, and he sent me to another desk to get an appointment with a psychiatrist. I made the appointment, then later cancelled it because, again, this stuff was getting to be all I was thinking about. Oh, and there was a huge line to talk to someone about an ID card, so I blew that off to. I found a Vet Center here and went looking for my old lifeline...went a couple of times, but the counselor sat me in a lazy boy recliner and wanted me to work on stress reduction...except that I couldn't hear her (bad hearing from helos) so the whole thing seemed stupid. I haven't been back.

I know what's wrong with me (or at least some of it), I've got meds that help, and i can't stand to go through the system for care or benefits because the process becomes all that I think about. But then I also think I could benefit if I could just get through process. Oh we'll, I've gotten by for nearly 50 years, so I am trying to decide if it is worth it to go through this to a conclusion when I don't have that many more years to worry about.