[My Intro]

I've been reading a lot here for a few months, but have just now joined. So, I thought I'd share my story thus far.

I'm a Marine Combat Vet from Storm/Shield and Somalia (if that was even combat) and was discharged due to an injured shoulder. They gave me the typical 10% and "go away". So I took it, and I did. After putting up with a lot of pain and not much sleep a friend of mine that served in the Army in Vietnam said I was an idiot and needed to go see "this guy" over at the Vet Center that could help me with the paperwork to get the higher rating he thought I should have. After almost a year of procrastinating I went. After my C&P I was bumped to 40% (30% + 10%) and thought I was doing well.

But, having gone into the Vet Center got me the introduction I really needed. I was soon in counceling for the issues I was having. I moved from one state to another and, after an all too long delay on my part, got back into a Vet Center and started counceling again. After a while the guy told me he thought I should submit for PTSD so that I could get help it the VA Medical Center. I knew I had (have) issues, but (foolishly) felt odd admitting it and asking for a disability rating for it. We submitted the paperwork and I went in for my C&P. I also had a C&P for hearing loss and the ringing in my ears.

About a month later I had a bit of a melt down and ended up in the VA Emergency Room. They knew I needed in patient care, but had no beds available. So, they sent me (in the back of a cop car) over to the University Hospital. I was released after 3 or 4 days (I lost track) and had to call my boss and explain. He was shockingly cool about it and said he'd work with me as much as he could, and he has. Not a week later I received my letter saying I was denied for hearing loss but given 10% for tinnitus (ringing in my ears) and 50% for PTSD w/ depresion and anxiety. Now I'm at 70% in total. (Yes, a finding in less than 4 months [maybe 3] from the time I submitted - maybe it had to do with "who's gonna pay these medical bills" from the University Hospital, I don't know).

Now that I have my rating I've been going to the VA Hospital and seeing a real doc. I'm on meds for depression, anxiety, and nightmares. I'm actually seeing two different doctors; one that just hands out pills, and the other for individual and group therapy. The therapy doc said (without actually saying) he felt I should resubmit and that I was far above 50% disabled.

So, I typed up a NOD that indicated I wanted my medical records since my release to be taken into consideration and I made a 2 page statement of what my life is like. I also got a statement from my boss outlining all the consessions they make for me in order for me to be able to work. Yesterday I received a letter asking if I wanted to "have a Decision Review Officer assigned to (my) case or to follow the traditional appeal process" and that either way I can still submit a "Substantive Appeal" to the Board of Veterans' Appeals. I opted for the Decision Review Officer because that is what I read here at HadIt was the best choice (although I'm not sure why, and the letter made both choices sound the same).

Although they make a lot of consessions for me at work for my depression and anxiety, they have no tolerance for my anger and I've been written up a few times. I feel like all my symptoms are getting worse and the only thing the pill pushers say is to "give the new medication time to take effect". I'm really concerned about losing my job. I have GOT to keep it. I'm paid very well and have, more importantly, really good benefits that my family needs. Some days I'd love to just say forget it all and let the world burn down around me, but I know I have to hold it together and keep providing. I tend to look for comfort in buying things that will distract my attention (motorcycles, equipment for hobbies) and then I get too depressed to use them. I can afford the payments right now, but if I were to end up without a job (and I know I couldn't get another one and keep it more than a week or two) I couldn't pay off all my foolish debts with the VA income, even at 100%. Ya, it's bad - I just keep looking for distraction and a way out. Instead I just get more stress.

Well, that's me and where I'm at. It's nice to be able to unload a bit where I won't be judged the way others do.

[Tinnitus 24/7]

Although you can't get any higher than 10% for Tinnitus (no matter if it is in one or both ears), you can get both help and a rating for the mental health issues it is causing you (assuming that "driving me crazy" means depression and/or anxiety, etc.)