OEF n' Home Again

Thanks to all who have replied. I actually did make my statements and it boiled down to what you have all said: 1- it is one thing to have the ideology but it is different to have the intent. 2- so, if I had plans or strong intentions and a target then they would have a legal obligation to intervene... Whoa, can you believe that I'm writing this? It is sad that this is what our veterens have to deal with after serving... but here we are. Lets get through it... Thanks everyone.

Well, everyone, I finally got the rating. But I want to tell any active duty or reservists folks out there that you can go to your counselor and get help... you wont get kicked out like I thought I would have. I told them about homicidal and suicidal ideation... thing that I thought would harm my career... but alas, I got off of active duty orders (by my own choice) and went to the VA. They had no problem finding sc and rating me at 30% for ptsd (which I plan to appeal)

Carlie, Thanks for your kind reply. I actually got the envelope yesterday. It has a lot of info on it, and I'll get the details of the reasons and basis section on here soon. They did indeed give me 30 percent for PTSD... which I am grateful for, but my Mrs. is sad to see. By looking at the symptoms it is clear that I should be at 50%... possible even 70%... but I feel that my symptoms are probably closer to 50%. My Asthma was denied... more to follow... I am really in debt to this forum for helping me get this far. More to follow....

That is good to hear, Pete. I think I was low-balled on the ptsd, but got higher than I thought on something else (strain).... oh well. Once I get the actual VA letter I will go an appeal it (NOD). Work: No I am not.... only doing my guard drill once a month. Thanks again for your consideration and help.

Hey Doc, Thanks for the reply. I am pleased that the VA recognizes the injuries... My Mrs. and entire family was all surprised at the low PTSD rating... Is it normal for them to kind of award 30% for PTSD, with the anticipation it will be disputed??? I have heard that as a rumor...

Pete, Thank you very much for your reply. I am really anxious to get the VA letter indicating everything. I'll talk with the VSO and get their input, also. I can't get health insurance for the family through the VA if I am at 60%, can I?

VFW sent me a letter saying that I'll probably get a notification of 60% from the VA very soon... Said I might be eligible for Vocational Rehab and Employment Benefits (What are those???) Also, at 60%, is there anything I should do now? I don't know what else to do. My Mrs. was sad to see I only got 30% for PTSD, as she see's it's ravaging effects so often... I'l probably put in a NOD. What else is out there for a 60%'er? Thanks my friends. OEF

Yeah... 30% PTSD and other stuff.... Wife wasn't happy with the %30 but oh well. The letter mentioned I might be elegible for Vocational Rehab and Employment benefits... Any idea what they are?

Tbird, Hawkfire, Carlie, Pete, Larry... (hope I didnt forget a name....), My dear friends I want to thank you for your sincere advice. I know that you don't know me from a stranger, but you've been willing to shed some very needed advice. Advice that I NEEDED to hear. It's true. I always have passive thoughts that aren't so Christian... those don't bother me as much as when I lose control..... it is then that I hope nobody gets on my bad side when I am in that awful, terrible state of mind... to include unexplained anger, rage, and feeling that the only way to feel better is to do something so extreme. This is what scares me. My wife cautioned me last time that I stormed out the door, "honey, just be careful. I don't want you to hurt someone or yourself" It was later that day that I realized that it isn't normal or healthy that she should have to say that to me. It just isn't right. I was never like this before I volunteered twice to OEF. It was like a hidden snake bite and I am now feeling the venom. I don't want to sound weird, but I feel a bond to all those that have commented here, and I thank you sincerely. I plan to fully disclose how I'm feeling/thinking with my Dr. the next time we meet. Thanks to all of you. Please continue to comment on this topic and those who haven't yet- I hope you will now. OEF n' Home Again...... and struggling.

Thanks to all of you for your responses. I am seeking help for PTSD. I already started the ball rolling. I was just unsure about how far into detail I want it to go. I think I might wait until I am being treated at the VA before I talk about these more serious issues of my PTSD. That way, the doc won't call my commander right then and get my duty changed around, etc.... then gossip spreads and I just dont want to deal with that. I think it will be better to bring it up when at the VA. It is only a few weeks away. Thanks again for all the posts. U all are really great. OEF

THIS IS A RESPONSE I GOT FROM SOMEONE..... WHAT DO YOU THINK HERE ON HADIT? His response to my same question: I wouldn't say any of that to them. I have the state DCF involved with my family right now. Just the other day in order for me to keep on "cooperating" with the DCF I had to sign a release form so they can have full access to my MH records, progress notes etc.They are involved because of me being violent at home, work, and being arrested. I am thankful I didn't talk about any suicidal or any violent things/feelings or they would take our son. BUT DCF doesnt know that I was arrested 3 months ago they know of my prior arrests but not this latest one and I am worried about that because I told my counsler that and my phyc and it will be in my notes for sure. If you are sure that no agency will supenoea or ask you to sign a release then talk all you want but if I was you I wouldn't because Even though you are saying it to get help certain agency's will use that against you....Just a word of advice.

Hi Carlie, SMR= Service Member Record, right? If so, Yes. I got a partial copy of the visit which said, 1. A/P Chronic Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have only had one visit with the Doc and I have one follow up visit before I am off orders and just in the reserves. Thanks, OEF

Hello my friends and fellow Vets. Sorry to bug you with another question, I was recently diagnosed with Chronic PTSD by a military Dr. (I come off Active Duty in a couple wks) As we met, he asked me questions about homicidal thoughts and intentions, etc. I did my best to dance around the issue and ultimately I avoided an honest answer. Please hear me and know why I did this and give me advice for what I should do. It's true. I have a very hot temper and when I am engrossed in anger I just want to go out and commit a crazy crime. Or, if someone really crosses me, I imagine killing them in a variety of ways but I doubt I would ever act on that unless pushed. I am seeking help for the many problems associated with PTSD, but I am avoiding this part because I am afraid of several things: 1- I don't want them to "lock me up" in a VA hospital just because I am feeling this way. 2- I don't want to be kicked out of my reserve unit because I need the money and - I get cheap health insurance thru them (tricare reserve select) and I can't afford to lose that heath insurance for my wife and small kids. My brothers and sisters, what should I do? Should I just tell the Dr (Active Duty Doc) all of these things? or should I wait until I go to the VA to do it? I know it would have bad repercussions if I did. I am still on active duty orders for 2 more weeks, and then I am in the reserves. I just don't know what to do. Are there other health insurance options that would cover the family? I'm afraid that if I got kicked out or such that I would disclose my medical history to a new ins company and they would deny my fam insurance because of my pre-existing conditions... Or do I just keep a lid on how I feel at times and go on with life? So confused, OEF VET

Just wondering if during the interview with the shrink if they find you to be diagnosed with PTSD and with homicidal ideas (just thoughts but no plans for action) could they put you into a mental hospital against your will? Thanks, OEF

I'm sure this has been asked before, but at what disability rating are we no longer allowed to work at? I am not sure if the VA would do this, but I look forward to your input. Thanks, OEF