cook_15

Hello... I am wanting to know about my current situation and what you guys think? I am currently sitting at 100% non-permanent. I have been rated at this since 2014.  Last year I had a reevaluation C&P for my PTSD and my rating for that went from 70 to 100.  I got a slight bump in compensation as well with the addition of one of the SMC's (I don't remember which one--but I started getting an extra $400 or so in addition to my regular 100% amount I had gotten before).
I have 11 individual disabilities that are rated at 10% each, and then I have sleep apnea at 50% and now my new rating for PTSD which is 100, for a total of 260%.  When I did my C&P last October, although some of my symptoms for PTSD had improved, the C&P doc said that my depression and anxiety has gotten worse... I know my wife would agree probably... but I dunno... it is what it is... I hope to again someday feel normal and not have the need for these meds... 
Anyway, I've been struggling to get back to work and haven't worked in over half a year and I realized the job I had last year and the year before (after I retired from the Corps) was kept afloat from my boss who had a lot of compassion for me, but since moving on from that job and trying something different I realized I'm not so cut out for the civilian workforce.. I tend to not mesh well with civilians and my anxiety goes through the roof when I face situations that frustrate me--which was quite often.  
When I did my C&P exam last fall for my re-eval I told the doc that and I wonder if that had any bearing on my upgraded rating?  I dunno.  I wasn't expecting the upgrade to 100 for ptsd alone but I guess I'll take it, but I wonder if that means I can't work again? Me being at home is adding stress to my plate having to deal with family stuff so regularly etc and I have 3 small kids... it's just tough and want to try to get out and get some kind of a job.  Hopefully.  Even if it's just at Home Depot or something like that.. part time even.  My letter that came said nothing about unemployable but they did say I could fill out a form for it if I wanted, but I didn't.  I don't want to be labeled as that.  
Sorry for the long post.. I kinda don't know what to ask, but I have some other friends who I retired with that told me I ought to try to get labeled by the VA as P&T, but I really have no idea what that means or if I should risk applying for it.  Can someone tell me?  I don't really see myself improving much any time soon, in fact, I wish I lived in a state that had legal medicinal marijauna so I could see if that might help me and allow me to get off of all these meds.  (I take 3 different meds from mental health that have various side effects that I am tired of, not counting what I take for pain management)
Thanks in advance. I guess what I hope to hear is what you guys would do in my situation?  I don't mind going to my appointments at the VA, but it's easier now to do that since I'm not working.  I average 3-4 a month... I guess it would be nice not to go anymore, but then I feel I would be cutting myself off from possibly getting better.  I wonder if I should try getting help outside of the VA?  Does anyone do that for mental health? Anyway, again sorry to ramble... 
Thank you,
 
Edit: by the way, I am a retired Marine 0369 with 6 deployments under my belt.. 2 in support of OIF.