HowIWish

Thanks again for the responses! I value ya'lls input more than you can imagine. I TRUST you folks! I'll try to address everything. First, he doesn't qualify for SSDI. He hasn't paid into it in years because in Ohio, as a cop, you pay into OPERS. So his disability retirement will come from OPERS (a state pension fund) and not SSDI. He was given a fitness for duty exam by the police department upon his release from the hospital. That's standard, and he failed it. He's a sergeant and has never had any issues with causing a bad work environment, but as a police officer he has to be fit for duty, and due to his mental illness he isn't. I'm guessing that the medication he's on played a part in that also. It's a very high dose of anti-psychotic and can cause tremors, delayed response time, etc.To be honest I was relieved, even though it puts us in a very bad financial situation. I would rather be poor than a widow, and to be completely honest, that's what we were headed towards. It was BAD. I'm still coming to terms with how bad things had gotten, as is he. He even told me yesterday that he feels like even once he's stable and "cleared" by whomever he ends up seeing for his mental health to be allowed access to his guns again, he doesn't want access to his guns. He said that he fears a relapse, and he was way too close to killing himself before, and he wants to be around to raise his kids. He has major impulse control issues when he's at his worst, and we both fear what he could do without thinking. But honestly, I never thought he would permanently give up his guns. He was a machine-gunner and a cop and his guns have always been very important to him. He carried always, and hated flying on a plane, or anything that prevented him from carrying. Anyway, he definitely had huge stressors in the war. He has no shortage of stressors! He was on the ground from 3/1/03- 1/16/04. There was no "green zone." Iraq was a hot mess and they were sleeping in fox holes that were only a few feet deep due to the solid rock under the sand, or abandoned "castles" of Saddam's family. There was no running water, no electricity, and they were on high alert 24/7. There weren't the IEDs that came later with the influx of terrorists, but there was plenty of combat, nighttime raids, and everything that goes along with the initial invasion. He doesn't have childhood "abuse" per say, but I do know that he has talked to the doctors and psychologists when he was inpatient about neglect during his childhood. Nobody abused him, but his dad was an alcoholic, though not the "typical" kind. He never went to bars and he never got violent or even yelled. He just came home from work and sat in his study and drank. He was just completely uninvolved in the family. And his mom would stay in bed a lot. So my husband was on his own a lot. He hasn't had any big stressors at work, no shootings or anything. But the dead body calls and suicides really get to him. His job definitely exacerbates what he saw and did in Iraq. And just to clarify, all of his mental health care outside of the Va has been fine. Maybe not the best care ever, but there was never any question about his diagnoses or putting him on medications. But as soon as he was admitted to the Va the doctor, within few hours, completely threw out all of his prior diagnoses and took him off his meds. I know the Va has to diagnose things on their own for benefits, but neither of us expected his inpatient stay to be so tumultuous. She was changing his diagnosis almost daily, and wrote in her chart that I was demanding that she diagnose him with Bipolar (his previous diagnosis.) That definitely never happened. I told her repeatedly that I didn't care what his diagnosis was as long as he was getting care and she wasn't diagnosing him with something that made NO sense but just happened to be noncompensable. The second nurse that pulled me aside told me point blank that she had been caring for my husband during his stay and that he should never be carrying a gun on the street as a cop, and that the doctor was going to say he was fine for work to save the Va in benefits. She told me that in her opinion he should be 100% disabled and that this doctor was going to see to it that he couldn't get that. She said she'd seen it time and again and it made her sick, but she was hopeful for my husband because we were questioning things. She told me to keep fighting because we were the first ones to fight this doctor. Now, honestly, I thought she was being kind of dramatic and maybe full of hog wash at the time. Once he was released and we saw his medical records, everything she said made sense. Yes, it sounds crazy. Yes, I feel like we are being paranoid which is ironic given the fact that one of my husband's biggest issues is paranoia. But it's all there in black and white. She even said that my in-laws were paranoid IN THE CHART! Now tell me that's even professional? My father-in-law is a retired Lieutenant Colonel in the AF, and he's blown away by all of this. They were pretty involved during his stay as well, but not with the doctors or anything. They were just trying to help us navigate the system since we are completely new to all of this, and they visited my husband every few days. But they have seen the chart and listened to the phone calls. But they don't use the VA, and have no idea what we should do now except for reporting it all and sending everything to our congressmen. So we're back to this: Should he just finish the application for the disability benefits now and fight the charting and ethics issues on the side, or should we attempt to fight this doctor first and maybe get the charting thrown out? Or at least prove she was lying? Because we CAN prove that. But I'm not sure how much her notes will affect a benefits decision. We are both the type to fight for what's right, period. Honestly, that's why I trust you so much, Berta. I've read a lot on this site, and you strike me as the same kind of person. You kept fighting and continue to do so even when financially it may not be necessary or even beneficial. Yes, we are going to be in a financial disaster. But doing the right thing is extremely important to us. My husband should have put in for VA benefits years ago. All the other guys from his squad (and most of the ones he has kept in touch with from his platoon) have been getting benefits since they got out. But my husband was stubborn and said he wanted nothing to do with the VA. To be honest, most of them haven't had these big of issues, probably because they got help so much sooner. Also because they aren't getting triggered at work constantly. I saw this coming... His inability to maintain, and I have tried to convince him to get help for years. It just saddens me that when he finally gave in and sought help it has turned out like this. So, here is our tentative plan. Please tell me if it's wrong or if we should do something differently. If we should (or even can) fight this doctor's notes, should we do that first before filing for benefits? Here's what we are thinking for now: 1) This coming week finish organizing his non-VA medical records. Obtain all SMRs and get his application for VA disability benefits done. 2) Then we will burn CD-ROM copies of all the recordings and his VA medical chart and send it (marked with all major discrepancies) to our congressmen along with letters from my husband explaining his ordeal. He's already been working on writing it all up. (We are very blessed that several of our congressmen are involved in VA reform and committees!) 3) File a complaint with the IG and send them copies of the phone recordings and his chart with the discrepancies marked. Also send them a letter from my husband. 4) File a complaint against the psychiatrist with the Ohio Medical Board along with the CD-ROM as above. I genuinely want to know what you all would do. If her notes were simply opinions that were unfavorable, that's one thing. And honestly a lot of it is simply that. But again, there are entire conversations that I have recorded that she blatantly lied and didn't just misrepresent. She fabricated everything she wrote and it isn't even close to what was actually said. If she lied that much that is provable, hopefully it will bring the entire thing into question. Thank you so much for taking the time to read all of this and give your advice!

Thank you so much for your responses. I'm going to try to answer all the questions and give more information that may help. First, my husband was the one that first got very upset with his care. I didn't get involved at all until he asked me to help because he said this doctor would not listen. Due to religious beliefs, I typically stay out of things like this. But since he's gotten so much sicker, I've had to step up more and it's very uncomfortable for me. I'm definitely not the type to speak up on my husband's behalf (or even my own behalf!) unless it's absolutely necessary. We both had two different nurses pull us aside and speak with us about their concerns regarding the care he was getting and patterns the two nurses saw with this doctor. We know that my husband isn't the only patient that has been treated this way, but the second nurse told us that we are the first ones to speak up and not let this doctor get away with it. Also, my husband repeatedly asked for another doctor once he started getting upset. That is documented in his chart multiple times. He was told he was not allowed to have another doctor. Some of the residents (student doctors) asked him detailed questions about his service and combat, but his main psychiatrist never asked him, and he said that if he brought it up she would change the subject. Also, he was flagged as a high suicide risk for 60 days in his chart, and the social worker said I had to change the codes on all of our gun safes before he could come home. She said he wasn't allowed any access to guns for 90 days. But his psychiatrist released him to work 5 days after his discharge. But he's a cop! His doctor kept saying that I was the cause of his issues and that it was marital problems. He kept telling her that when he's not having an episode we get along great, and we never fight. We only "fight" when he's manic and gets really paranoid and thinks I'm "doing things to him." But instead of putting him in counseling, she only assigned us to marriage counseling. I have no problem with marriage counseling, but I'm not sure how to navigate that until he gets better and doesn't live in his car for weeks at a time because he thinks I'm trying to hold him hostage! He needs medical help for whatever mental illness he does have, and counseling to get better. Anyway, those are all care issues. To answer your questions: Yes, he did an Intent to File, and nothing has progressed further than that. Things were too crazy for either of us to get anything done. I did take the opportunity while he was in the hospital to request his medical records and we are currently in the process of gathering those from his various doctors from over the years. He does have CIB on his DD214. When he went to the VAMC to get his records it was 404 pages to be exact. All of that is just from his 18 day stay. They put it on a CD-ROM. I thought that was a lot as well! A lot seems to be repeated, and there's a lot of notes from the doctor. It's truly unbelievable the things she wrote. I was a critical care RRT for 12 years before I started staying home with the kids, and I've never seen anything like this! The issue at the present is that this VA Psychiatrist flat out lied, and we can prove it. I had no idea when I recorded those phone calls (some were 2 hour long "family meetings") that this was going to happen. I didn't realize what was actually happening. But she quoted me several times in his chart and I said nothing even remotely close to what she says I said. And she lied about what she said. I truly believe that my husband wasn't targeted by her. He was just an average patient. I wasn't involved or pushy or anything until he started trying to get them to listen and they wouldn't. I believe, due to the nurses talking to my husband and myself, that this doctor does this to many vets. And if we hadn't stood up and pushed back she would have sent him home in worse shape than he came in, and with a diagnosis only of a personality disorder so he couldn't get any benefits. I don't expect the IG or congressmen to help us with my husband's claim, but shouldn't we report her at least for the craziness in his chart? And for refusing to let him get a second opinion or see another doctor? And for falsifying patient records? In Ohio that's a felony. I hate to think of the vets seen by her that don't have the support or wherewithal to fight back. Also, now that all of this is in his chart, should he go ahead and file his claim, or wait and see if the VA can do something about the falsified information? How big of an impact will her notes have on his claim? And about his care, the VAMC is now telling him they don't have any psychiatrist that can see him, and he will need to use Veteran's Choice. He was told last week that it could take 60 days for them to find him a psychiatrist outside of the VA. They're refusing him counseling. Right now we start marriage counseling next week and he starts anger management next week as well. They did give him an MMPI-2 (the short version) while he was inpatient and the psychologist that gave it to him said it pointed to bipolar or paranoid schizophrenia. But his psychiatrist said she didn't agree with the results. So that's where we're at. I realize the whole thing sounds crazy. I wouldn't believe it myself if I wasn't living it.

My husband is a combat veteran of the Iraq war. He was 101st Airborne infantry. He is/was also a police sergeant. He was diagnosed 4 years ago with PTSD by his private doctor. He has been spiraling out of control for many years, but the past few years his mental health has gotten markedly worse. I begged him to seek help for many years, and finally in June of this year he was seen by a private psychiatrist and diagnosed with PTSD and bipolar 1. To make a long story short, the meds helped a little, but at the end of September his doctor added an anti-psychotic. That helped a little, but he continued to have major issues and it was starting to noticeably affect his career. He's been a police officer for over 15 years. He was trying to get help, but if any of you have tried navigating the mental health field, it is not easy. I've been helping him. On October 15th he went completely crazy and had an episode. I finally convinced him to go to the hospital. I'm trying to keep this as short as I can, so if anyone has questions or needs details, just ask. The private mental health hospital he has been seen at doesn't take out insurance and we pay out of pocket. But inpatient stays start at $2,000 a day, so we opted for the Va. That was a horrible idea. When we got there his blood pressure was 200/175. They put the mental stuff on hold and over the next 4 days they got his BP under control and did an echo and heart cath. That part of the stay wasn't too bad. Then he was released to behavioral health. He was there for 14 days. The psychiatrist treating him told him the very first morning he was there that he didn't have bipolar. She took him off of all of his medications. She then diagnosed him with a personality disorder that made NO sense given his symptoms. I started reading everything I could and ran across a Va scandal where they were diagnosing veterans with personality disorders to prevent them from getting VA benefits. At first I thought there was no way that was what was happening. WE couldn't be part of a scandal, right? Well, it got worse. I questioned the doctor about his diagnosis, and I told her there was no way she was sending him home to me and our 5 kids on nothing more than an antidepressant. That's what got his bipolar rapid cycling in the first place! He had a standing diagnosis from a very reputable mental health facility, and he was told when they admitted him that they would be so if a monitored med change, not taking him off all his meds! Things got weirder and weirder. She was telling him completely different things Han she was telling me, and her diagnoses were changing daily. I know diagnosing mental health problems can be challenging, but she was all over the place, and most of the time was blaming me for his issues. He was getting more upset by the day, and tired of telling them that I had stood by him and was trying to get him help, not doing anything bad to him. The ironic part is that when he's "manic" (if that is indeed what is going on- at this time we have no idea,) he believes that I'm trying to poison him, drug him up, or hold him hostage naked in our bedroom closet. This doctor seemed to be trying to enforce his paranoia, and he wasn't even paranoid by this time in his hospitalization. So with my husband's permission, I started recording every phone call I had with the hospital. I wasn't sure why, except my gut told me something very bad was happening. I never imagined how bad. Finally the doctor called me and agreed to do something besides an antidepressant. She said she thought he may have paranoid schizophrenia, and she was going to try a high dose of an anti-psychotic to see how he reacted. Well, he reacted wonderfully. I won't get into details, but the drug and dose he is on would never help someone with a personality disorder. It would knock them out. For him, it has helped immensely. He's still having pretty big issues, but compared to how he was, he's at least functional outside of the hospital. So he came home and had to do a Fitness for Duty for his job, and he failed. Now he has to take a medical retirement. We went to get his medical records from the VA and hold cow! That psychiatrist flat out lied repeatedly. I'm SO glad I recorded our calls because her version of our conversations are not even close to what was said. Here's a brief rundown of some of the gems repeated over and over in his chart: -Patient states his wife has convinced him that if he doesn't retire and stay home to help her with the kids she will divorce him. -patient's wife has a vested interest in him being diagnosed with bipolar for reasons of financial gain -Patient and his wife are working together to convince us that he's sick for financial gain -Patient keeps saying he's manic but he is not acting manic at all (He kept telling them the whole stay that he WASN'T manic and hadn't been since being sedated for his heart cath) His doctor also fabricated entire phone calls that I have recorded and her version is not even close to what was said. I kept telling her over and over that I didn't care what his diagnosis was, but that he didn't fit the symptoms of a personality disorder at all, and that his private psychiatrist agreed. I told her that he is dangerous off of his medication, and that if she sent him home with nothing more than an antidepressant, she would be responsible for whatever happened. Anyway, he has to supply these medical records for his medical retirement from being a police officer. The entire record is insane, and makes it look like we made it all up. But that isn't even logical. If we made it all up, why was he inpatient for 14 days, and why did they send him home on a massive dose of an antipsychotic? Further, they took away his PTSD diagnosis, even though his chart is full of the symptoms of it. Just for the record, I figured up the numbers in our defense. With his medical retirement he will draw 36% of his current pay. I'm currently looking for a job after 3 years of being home with our 5 kids. I won't even be able to work full time because he can't be left with them that much. Our youngest is only 3, and our oldest is severely handicapped and will never be able to live on his own. Even if he were to ever get a 100% disability from the VA, combining that with his police pension still only gives him 75% of his current pay. I can assure you that we have nothing to financially gain by faking this. It's been going on our entire marriage, but has gotten to the point where he just can't maintain at work and isn't safe with a gun. What do we do? If his retirement goes through none of us are going to have insurance, and he needs the VA care. But now we don't trust anyone there. They told him on discharge that he would be seeing a psychiatrist within 7 days and they would continue to try to figure out what is wrong with him and how to treat it. His discharge diagnosis was Major Depressive Disorder with psychosis (severe.) That doesn't even align with the meds he's getting, but we just want him to get appropriate care and be able to live in our home and not be a danger to myself, himself, and our kids. How do we fight all the lies in his chart? How do we get anyone to listen? I filed a complaint at the patient advocate office and nobody even returned my phone call. His psychiatrist called and asked me to withdraw my complaint! Can our congressmen help us? The IG? Will he ever be able to get VA benefits with 400 pages of lies in his chart?

We've already put in his intent to file, and we definitely need the money! He will be losing 2/3 of his pay very shortly because he has to take a medical retirement and we have 5 kids. So that answers my question! Thank you!

Well, my husband finally has an appointment just to see a VA doctor, so we're getting somewhere. I can't find a solid answer to this question, but I'm still building my search skills on this forum! My husband was first diagnosed with PTSD. Then he gained weight from the meds. His snoring became unbearable so he then had a sleep study. He was diagnosed with OSA and has been compliant with his CPAP for 3 years. He was then diagnosed with Bipolar 1 in June. He is going to have to take a medical reitrement from his job and he has finally given up the fight and is filing for VA disability. My question is this- all of his diagnoses up to this point have been in private healthcare. He has an appointment next week to see a GP at the VA. They told him today to think of all the referrals he will need when he sees the GP so he can get them all at once. Should he go ahead and see a sleep doctor at the VA? He has gained 35 pounds just since July from the new bipolar medication. He needs a new sleep study anyway because the weight gain has caused him to start snoring through his mask. I'm an RRT, so I know he needs new settings! :) I am not sure if he should continue to see his private sleep doctor until he gets approved at the VA for his PTSD, or if he should go ahead and file both claims simultaneously. He also has GERD from he weight gain and as a side effect from his medication. So should he really schedule all of those appointments at his very first appointment with the VA GP? Also, he did snore before his PTSD, and some of his buddies complained about it when they were in foxholes in Iraq. Should he get buddy letters and file the OSA as being exacerbated by the weight gain and meds, or as a new secondary condition due to the mental health meds? His OSA diagnosis didn't come until after he was actually taking PTSD meds. Thank you!

Thank you so much for the responses. He currently has never even set foot in a VA facility. He has stabilized over the past few days, and he is getting ready to call our VAMC to find out what he should do. We got a letter from the VA about his Intent to File. I don't work, I stay home with our kids so we plan on not using a VSO. I'm pretty good with legal stuff, so I'm hoping that with the help here I can do a good job helping him file. He does currently work and we aren't low income, but he has slowly gone downhill over the years, and this past year he has gotten much worse. Memorial Day and 9/11 are bad days every year, and I'm sure that's why last week was hell. He realizes that he's on the brink, and we need to take action before he loses his job and we have nothing. If we can get him some solid mental help and get the ball rolling on a VA claim before his next downward spiral I will feel a little better. Just having the process started will give me at least a little peace of mind that he's willing to take help from the VA. I do have another question. Do they allow spouses to be present at the exam? It terrifies me that he could walk into the exam and tell them he's fine. He's not always in his right mind, and his doctor and I have learned that just me being in the room keeps him honest. I don't need to say much, but he can be in really bad shape, suicidal, living in his car, throwing things, breaking furniture, etc, and then walk into his doctor's office and say he's fine. When he is stable he would never do that, he would be honest. But if his exam makes him manic (and guessing from past experiences it probably will,) he will walk into that office convinced that I've talked Barack Obama into a massive conspiracy to have him institutionalized by the VA, and he will refuse to cooperate or sit there calmly and say he has no problems.

Thank you. I've been reading on here for several weeks and this site is amazing. We were not married when he served, so I think I have a steeper learning curve with the VA and military stuff, but everything I'm reading here is helping so much.

I realize I posted this in the wrong forum. Is there a way for me to fix that?

I'm a brand new member and this is my first post. I'm not a veteran but I am the wife of a veteran. I hope I'm posting this in the correct place. I've searched and I can't find an answer to my question. First I will ask my question, then I'll explain the situation for anyone who wants to understand the situation better. My husband currently has no service connected disabilities. We just started the process a few weeks ago. If he were to go to our closest VA hospital and be admitted for MH issues, could the doctors treating him make his issues service related, or would we need to pay for the hospitalization and then once he got a service-connected rating get reimbursed? Now I will explain the situation and why I am asking. It may get long but I will do my best. I'm not trying to circumvent the process or cheat or anything. My husband is a combat vet and has been diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar 1. He was diagnosed with PTSD about 5 years ago, and Bipolar 1 three month ago. He's been mentally ill almost our entire marriage. I married him 2 years after he was discharged, and I had no idea the extent of his illness. He's kept a very good job and provided well for us, but it has cost us dearly. He finally agreed to seek help about 6 months ago. Then he was diagnosed with bipolar. He's been slowly going downhill for years, but he absolutely refused to apply for VA benefits. Adamantly refused! After being treated the past several months he suddenly has agreed to seek VA benefits. Part of his reasoning is that he's hopeful he will feel more comfortable getting treatment around other veterans. He's heard good things about our local VA hospital. Part of it is that he has started to realize he will not be able to work at his current job much longer, and he is scared for us financially. Anyway, over the past month or so he has started thinking the VA could help his situation. So we started the application online and I have been figuring out the process. Then last week he went downhill very quickly and he's in a very manic state. He needs to be hospitalized, but he refuses. I think he's scared because he has never been hospitalized for mental illness before. I am hoping that if he would be able to go ahead and go to the VA and be admitted they could stabilize him and get him better faster. If I could tell him that it might make his claim go faster, it might help him agree to go. I'm not trying to trick him or manipulate him, but maybe some of you understand what it's like to know your spouse is on the verge of doing something really bad, and you can't get them help. He has to agree, and I'm trying to give him more reasons to agree. I realize this isn't a support type website, but I can't find an answer to this question anywhere. I thought maybe someone here would know. I'm sure I'll be posting more "normal" type posts in the future once my husband levels out and I continue on with our VA journey. I will probably be doing 99% of the work on his case because he just isn't able to.