JohnnyBlack

Thank you for the responses, I've been through more than a few shrinks and I am not sure I'm in a place to even handle treatment. Never mind the fact that I feel like everything I said to my psychologist was later used to discredit me. I don't trust anyone in that building. VocRehab stated in conversation. I may still have the letter that said I have "chosen" to pursue college. But, he communicated to me that I was not capable of working. I have already appealed and I requested a De Novo Hearing or whatever.... the face-to-face option... I am going through my DVA and my rep said he feels confident and that I shouldn't worry because I have ample medical evidence already and that he'll take care of it. I imagine that I should gather even more on my own and not trust this guy, period. But that could be the PTSD talking... I don't work, at all. I tried a year ago and managed a few days. I can't do it. I hate where I am at in life and this whole ordeal is humiliating. I'm going to try and see if I can get an outside shrink to lay down all kinds of labels since the VA refuses to acknowledge my mental health. I'm really at a complete loss because when I read the C&P findings there were out right lies amongst omissions and the twisting of my words to paint a picture that isn't true. Thank you for letting me know that I should just go in and pretty much dress like everyday. I'm so screwed up I don't even know what being myself means anymore.

Hello everyone, Honestly I'm at wits end. I'm 80% disabled. 70% PTSD, 20% Thoracic Spine. I tired voc-rehab and the guy told me that I couldn't work and that I could try college but that it was doubtful I could manage it because of my anxiety issues. I went to the school and attempted to enroll but flipped out on the admissions lady and pretty much ended up in getting all screwed up form the whole ordeal. The voc-rehab guy told me I should file for IU but I was afraid that they'd take away what I was already getting. He assured me that they couldn't do that and that I needn't worry. Well, he lied. They are trying to take me down to 40%. The C&P exam is riddled with half truths and omissions as the psychologist attempted to paint me as a person that I am far from. The physical portion of the exam ended up with a statement saying that, "no evidence of pain, muscle spasm, or redness was found." And they are attempting to drop my thoracic pain issue to 10%. I talked to the DVA in hopes of getting some help and my guy there filed for a DRO hearing. It has become painfully obvious to me that I don't know what I am doing and I don't know how to express myself in a way that communicates my day to day issues. I have no family or friends due to my PTSD (they all think I'm evil) and I don't have anywhere to turn for help or an explanation. What do I need to do to ensure I don't destroy my only chance of not ending up homeless? What does the DRO hearing look like and what should I be doing in the mean time? Should I wear a tie? I am at a point now where I am afraid of going to the VA for help. I'm a afraid that if I say something wrong they will use it as an excuse and jump all over me and leave me with nothing. I know I was wrong for trying to go for IU, I just want my 80% rating back and I'll disappear.