ArmyWife

Well honestly for some reason I thought your first reply to my post was offensive. So forgive me for that. I appreciate all you do for vets out there, truly. His exam was spectacular in a sense that It went smoothly. I was allowed in the room. His C & P is today, which I will not go to bc no one to sit our daughter. Anywhos. Have a great day everyone.

Well thanks for your help? We don't have time to read over a million pages of regulations. His combat infantry badge should hopefully be enough. Should I take a picture of the hole in the wall to show the VA Dr. for proof of PTSD? Maybe a video of him ducking every time he hears a loud noise. Perhaps a recording of the hundreds of arguments we've had about him never wanting to talk about his feelings,staying reclused in his office for hours at a time. Getting high every day because of his anxiety issues. Maybe he should have taken a picture of the dead Afghan soldier he had to drag at three in the morning while getting shot at... or when two of his good friends almost died and he had to lay on top of them in the helicopter so dirt wouldn't get in their wounds. Those are just a couple of things. Of the many things. My husband was out for missions weeks at a time, he wasn't a POG sitting on some FOB. JW how much proof the VA needs. And of course I wasn't there Berta, -obviously- but when our husbands are in pain we feel it too, it affects us too. Its pretty upsetting how difficult the VA makes this process. We don't even know what stressor letters are. We have been to two different people at the DAV and they did not help us AT ALL, because they had no idea what they were doing. I just want him to get the disability rating he deserves.

Hey ya'll I had posted here a few months ago about my husband having trouble getting his exams. Well here we are a year and a half later and we FINALLY got our exams THIS FRIDAY and the following Monday. Only problem is, we are pretty nervous. We went over everything we are going to mention, and hoping that the TRUTH will ensure us a good rating. I do know some stretch the truth, in order to get a good rating. We aren't all about that, but are there tricks or something? I am so afraid this Dr. will be short with us and not fully understand what my husband is trying to convey. My husband is claiming PTSD, he cannot bend his toes,he lost full ROM in his back,he has terrible knees,his feet are worthless,he doesn't sleep,he stays in his man cave most of the time, doesn't have a job, and he has trouble connecting with me and people,and he hits the MJ probably too much,he is on anti-depressants and sleeping pills (which don't work) his hygiene is non existent to say the least, he also has been seeing a VA psychologist and psychiatrist (no help at all). (Long story short) He was in 1st Cav in Iraq...then he went to the 25th for Afghanistan. 11B (Infantry). He was in for 6 years. Lets just put it this way, he has seen a lot of sh*t and has had numerous close calls. Been in numerous fire fights and seen a lot of blood and guts. Uh anyways...so how do we properly convey that to this guy? I am going with him to the appt. We have gone over which stories to tell, should we just go with the flow? Not sure how these appts. work! Also for the C & P exam. Do you literally have to have documentation for every single thing you claim? Because in his platoon, they weren't to keen on "sick calls". You had to pretty much suck it up. So its going to be pretty disappointing if they want every single documentation because quite frankly there aren't many. And when he did finally get to go to the medic...they would just give him pain medication for his back and wouldn't give him ANY x-rays. He went asking for X-Rays THREE TIMES. Wellp...thats my post, pray for us!!!

Why does my profile say E-3 Seaman?How do I change that?

Also, why does my profile say E-3 Seaman?How do I change that a?

Thank you everyone, we truly had no idea that dealing with the VA would be so flipping COMPLICATED. Dealing with his PTSD is a daily battle. But I know it can be won. Thank you everyone for your responses.Truly.

^You're absolutely right.Drugs are just his way of "dealing". I have given ALOT of tough love,it just doesn't seem to work. Thank you all for your posts I will take ALL of these things into consideration. I wish you all the best in healing. God Bless, Ann

Well my husband wasn't told about his first C & P Exam...so now while we were dealing with that I thought I would get some tips ,if and when we ever do get one. 1. Should I go with him? 2. Should we bring these "letters"- I have heard of people bringing "letters" from family members and battle buddies. My husband says that all he needs to bring is his CIB and that should be proof enough (he is quite stubborn) 3. What should or shouldn't we say? Since he has been out he has had a drug problem, should we not bring this up? 4. It seems like you have to do all of these tricks to get proper treatment/disability rating..I just want to do the right thing. He has : Depression Anxiety Never sleeps Spurts of anger Lack of interest in sex (its been 6 months ) Drug problem He has many many dreams about the Army Trouble expressing emotion Trouble staying focused He just can't relate to people, its like he lives in his own world 24/7 He is such a great father, but I feel more distant from him each day. He shows pretty much all the signs, which at first I think we were both in denial about. But its like it came on full force...I am currently seeking counseling but I can only get counseling after he goes at the local Vet Center. I guess I am worried he won't be able to express all of these things to the Dr. ...as he does have trouble talking to people. So maybe I shouldn't be there, or maybe I should to contest? I am giving all of this to God and praying constantly for him. At first I was so angry, because i didn't think it would happen to him, but now I sort of have some peace,I guess. -Ann

Thank you everyone. It truly is a battle. We called several places and met with several people and they ALL said to do something different. Sounds like we are in the Army all over again. Anyways, he met with a DAV guy located in the Medical Hospital here in OKC. He filled out some paperwork, wrote some letter, and put a stamp on it. Said to wait up to 60 days for a response letter/package that tells us when his exams are. He said that the "other" DAV guy didn't know what he was doing. Does this sound about right? Ugh. So tired of the run-around. Also have heard that DAV people are somewhat sketchy if they are located inside Va Hosp. , is this true? We don't know who to believe!!!!

So glad I found this forum. When my husband ETSd this past May...nobody really told him to what extent he needed to go through in filing his claims. Letters from doctors? We had no idea about ANY of that. He just filled out the paperwork and sent it off. We called month after month asking the VA when the heck his Dr. apt. was, they said "Oh it should be in about six months,just be patient, just wait." So SEVEN MONTHS LATER, we get a huge envelope in the mail, YES! Its about his doctors appt! WRONG! We were entirely SHOCKED to see that it was the VA, denying all his claims, WHAT? Apparently he missed his appt. which was MAY 1ST. So when he called them asking about his appt, they didn't even look up to see that he had missed it? They never even notified by phone email or mail about his appt. So we called, and they did not give us a clear answer on what to even do. Its totally disheartening. So we raced to the Federal Building downtown (45 minutes from our house)after we received the letter and didn't get anywhere with them on the phone, my husband was on the phone with the VA. in rush hour traffic. We rush in, to be turned away by some fat security officer because apparently the VA doesn't accept people 15 minutes before closing time. it was 3:44. I cried the entire way home. He is an OIF and OEF Combat Vet who has seen a lot of sh*t. ALOT. Has a crappy back now, he can't even bend his toes. He doesn't sleep,like ever. He just floats through each day, somewhat of a zombie. I have FINALLY talked him into going to the Vet Center to get counseling. He stopped taking his anti-depressants. So when we got the huge envelope, we thought we had caught our break. It is hard for him to keep a job. I just can't believe this happened.Honestly. So we called the DAV, and some guy seemed pretty confident we would figure it out. But honestly, I just don't trust anyone at this point. And I am really not sure what we should do, since filing an appeal takes months/years. I had no idea they would take the time to even process a claim without the Vet even being at their Dr. Appt. Please help us, I am trying to put this into God's hands, but here I am on Saturday night surfing the internet for answers. -Ann