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CptDT

Seaman
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About CptDT

  • Rank
    E-3 Seaman

Previous Fields

  • Branch of Service
    USMC
  • Hobby
    Brooding.
  1. So I got a call today from the MST folks at the VA, 800 827 1000, three days after filing, which I’m guessing is a good sign... And then I accidentally hung up on her. And she didn’t call back. Blah.
  2. Well guys, I finally filed. It took 6 months of building myself up to the prospect of having to talk about it but the deed is done. I assume they'll request a C&P whereat I get to detail everything to some random Dr. Here's hoping that doesn't get messy.
  3. Yea, the plea agreement with my name all over it should be enough. Also, since this thread is already going... Any opinions on submitting unestablished secondary claims along with the initial claim? The tinnitus is almost certainly caused by medication for the primary diagnosis. And I've another secondary I'll likely add after consulting with a civilian specialist I'm already seeing. Here's how I've got it structured on ebenefits: Primary: PTSD - personal trauma Secondary: major depression Secondary: anxiety disorder Secondary: tinnitus Also listed as... Primary: major depression Secondary: tinnitus Primary: anxiety disorder --- Does it really matter how it's listed?
  4. Was it worthwhile contacting the MST coordinator? As in, what good did it do vs just filing without having contacted them?
  5. Thanks for all the advice guys. Also, should I address inaccuracies from my records in the statement somewhere? The inpatient record says I have two cousins who committed suicide, which isn’t true, and that seems like it might influence the rater. Mom agreed to write a statement so maybe she can slip that in there.
  6. Ok so I'll split into two docs, trim down the history, and expand on the effects.
  7. Well the whole story is certainly more than 1 page, and contrary to my username, I was enlisted. Male. I know it’s a bit long so any advice in trimming the diatribe is appreciated. I mostly want service connection so that therapy will be free because right now I have a copay every time I go to the VA. --- Year 0, December: Enlisted in Marine Corps. Year 1, June: First duty station; assigned to personnel shop (orders, assignments, etc). Year 2, January: other Marines in my shop relocated to another building. No further social contact with other Marines, no PT, command events, or anything else permitted due to customer service demand. Year 3, March: Depressive symptoms. SSRI, sent to therapist for depressed mood, social isolation, etc. I made multiple requests to civilian supervisor and my staff NCO to switch work sections; denied. Wife leaves. Found civilian roommate on Craigslist. Still, little to no social support, no peers. Year 3, September: Burst into tears while assisting an O3 with something. Captain talks to 1Sgt, and I'm moved to a new work section. Isolation over. Year 3, November: Promoted to CPL. Depression in remission. Therapy no longer needed. Had peers, friends, social life, productive and varied work, appreciative supervisors, etc. Life's was pretty good. Year 4, March: After night out with civilian and friend, crashed at friend's place. Me, three others (two military friends and a civilian), and some Navy O3 that was tagging along who I had never met. Sleep in shared bed with my civilian roommate, with door opened, I wake up at some point afterwards with penis of this guy i don't know in my face; told him to f-off. Woke up again in the middle of a fairly-successful penetration attempt. Went to living room, told my friend who was his acquaintance, and fell asleep on the floor three feet from friend. Woken up mid-BJ, which had been completed sufficiently enough for whoever he was to finish himself off, then he left. Recollect the evening with civilian roommate the next day. Didn't tell anyone else though; the friends of my roommate were officers, and NCIS would have been keen to know why a Corporal was hanging out with Captains. Some Marines overhead a bit of the story, and gay rumors begin. I didn't care. Depression returns full force, complete with suicidal ideation. Back to medical. GySgt says it's time to go to the range. I told him that I didn't want to requal. I only had a few months left on AD and that it would be a waste of time and money. He said I had to go. I said I would prefer not to go. He insisted. I told him how i was feeling and that medical said no weapons. He tells CWO2, who tells the CWO5, and then it goes on and on from there. The whole chain of command was made aware. I didn't mention the assault because it would only fuel more gossip if the leadership got word. SSgt messes with me because of rumors. Assignments after duty hours, assignments on the weekends, showing me porn on the government computer complete with commentary. So I ask CWO2 if I can go back to previous work section; request denied. Year 4, mid-April: Enough was enough; it was Friday, went to PX for a weapon, but I didn't have money, so I go home to think it over and return with credit card. Roommate was home, so we talked and I went to bed. I had a rough Saturday the next day. I tried to eat dinner and then started drinking. After a few drinks I ground up my roommates prescriptions and some remaining concerta I had left over from late the previous year. It got a bit crazy after that, but I woke up the next day in the parking lot of my apartment. My suicide attempt was a failure. I didn't tell anyone for a week until I went to my next medical appointment. Told medical about events and this got me an inpatient stay for about 7 days. I never gave specifics to anyone there or at the regular clinic about the causes. I just repeated what I had told the psychiatrists what I had told the therapist a year before. I didn't want to complicate things more than they were. If other parties got involved, I'd have been in there forever and would have been forced to come clean about identities and details. I get out of inpatient, having decided while in there that gay rumors were my way out. I return to my unit, SSgt gave me some shit, but I refused to talk to him, and instead reported only to the new SSgt who had just arrived a couple of weeks before. The gay rumors and inpatient trip opened up some very blunt topics. He asked directly and I said I was gay, and he told the CWO2 and so forth. The worst thing that could happen is that I was discharged, and second to that I only had 4 months left on my contract anyway. I only made the gay statement once. That same day, I sought counseling at the BN level; not medical. It was mostly to escape, and to discuss the potential effects of what had just happened. He sympathized and offered regular counseling. He asked for, and I gave, my personal email address and phone number just in case. I thought it was strange, but I wasn't a great judge of anything at that point. This person suggests that I come work for him. I make this request to the CWO2; denied [thankfully]. Year 4, end of April through May: The person at the BN had taken an interest in me. He asked me to come to his office to help him with something and said that he had a job for me to do. I went to his office, one floor below my work section. He started openly sexual dialog, which included his talking about how he coerces Marines and sailors who came to him for marital counseling into sexual activity. I was shown photos to support the claims. Then he wanted pictures taken. Once the photoshoot was over, I went back to my desk freaked out and was asked by a few people what was wrong. I said I'd tell them once I was out of the Marine Corps. I was moved to my previous work section in the other building shortly after. I began receiving sexual images at my personal email address from the person at the BN, and numerous suggestive messages to my government email, to include emails like "I saw you at your office today." I discussed with my best friend what to do, and how to proceed. I had tell someone but doing so would ensure I was retained long past by EAS until any investigation and proceedings were over. So I told no one, but I made sure to save everything. I never asked the person at the BN to stop because I suspected it wouldn't make a difference anyway, plus i thought it would prompt him to hide anything he had saved. I ignored most of the messages. Meanwhile, the investigation into my comment that I made a few weeks earlier was in full-swing. I wasn't aware though that anything was going on until I was called down to see the XO, who had interviewed persons from my previous section. I still didn't care. I answered his questions directly. I didn't elaborate. I didn't refute anything anyone had said, whether it was rumor or not. Year 4, June: Still receiving email messages from the person at the BN, being watched at work, getting txts, and getting the occasional phone call at my work phone. The word had been out among my Marines about this person at the BN after a one saw my emails. They had agreed to not say anything and we discussed what to do in case something happened again. We all thought the situation was ridiculous, so we definitely had more than a few laughs about it all and I decided to take advantage of any future in person events for the sake of evidence. Then one day, the person at the BN calls to tell me that a discharge had been recommended by company XO and the CO endorsed. He said he wanted to go over to legal with me about it but that I should go by his office first because he had something else for me to do for him. I knew this job he had was sexual in nature. I told a couple corporals, and headed to his office. The meeting proceeded like the first encounter, except that he was more insistent, and then grabbed my hand and placed it on his penis for a few seconds of nonconsensual handjob time, complete with fluids. I yanked my hand away, dropped the camera, and got out of there. I went back to my work section and refused to do anything else for the rest of the day until I asked to leave early, which was ok-ed by my civilian supervisor because had told her a very generic version of the story from before to explain why I was so nuts when i was reassigned to her. Got home, roommate got home from work, and Ii told him what had happened. We drank a lot. He went to bed. I called my Mom, said bye. My previous attempt had resulted in my apartment being picked clean of any potential ways to harm myself, so I drank a lot more and ran a razor deep up my wrist. Police show up; Thanks, Mom. Then emergency room followed by another inpatient hospitalization the next day for a few days. Everyone in the BN thought I was nuts because I really was by that point. The base commander had my separation orders done the next day, I had a DD214 about 4 days later. I packed all my stuff in a U-Haul, and went back to base right after I was packed up to tell whoever I needed to tell. The BN XO was the first to hear it, followed his chain, NCIS, etc. Turned out i was the least assaulted of all his known victims. Court martial, and plea agreement. He had really been up to some shit over the years, apparently. It was all over, and I shrugged it off. I had escaped what had to be the worst three months ever, and things couldn’t do anything but get better. -- How I’ve been affected... I’ve been seeing the VA psychiatrist for medication ever since I separated, but I’ve maintained that everything was ok. I made sure to mention the entire history, including the sexual stuff, on our first meeting though, just in case. I finished undergrad, then moved back into the area wherein all the events happened for grad school. I had gone to college before the Marine Corps, so I only had 60 credits or so to finish up. The people at undergrad were great, probably because most of them were military, or because it was a Psychology program. Then 2 years Master’s program, which took 4 years. Graduate school was different though, the other students were put off. I didn’t fit well, and only got along with one guy who used to be Army infantry and with one girl I went to class with. Even she commented about me but was reassured by the Army guy that it’s just how Marines are. I’ve had very limited social interaction outside of work since then, and even work has been difficult. I would get a job and keep it for a year, maybe two, up until my current position. I can pretty much do what I please at my current job so I can take a time out if needed. If it got way too much, I’d take leave that same day. Can’t do that anymore because my performance standards require that I submit most of my leave in advance. What really tipped my off to something being wrong was that I had been avoiding work related social events. I was invited to several that were hosted by agencies outside of my regular work. And by that I mean Embassies and diplomatic events. I couldn’t do it. I declined. I made up reasons. I knew I should go but couldn’t. I excused my not going because I might run into the person from the BN years ago who was registered as a sex offender in the area. Anyway, that all started about a year and a half ago, and I’ve realized that I will never advance until I fix these issues. I don’t know if I my issues are related to the assaults directly, or if my maladaptive behavior from before the events was cemented by the assaults. I’m not even sure I have PTSD or depression. I don’t know. The first assault doesn’t bother me now at all. I’m instead bothered by everyone’s reactions after it. I’ve been rotating different stimulants for more than a decade to maintain some semblance of motivation to do anything besides site on the couch when I get home from work after leaving early without telling anyone. I’ve started numerous projects that are half done. The house is an insurance claim nightmare waiting to happen. No one ever comes inside except for me, so I’ve yet to be sued for injury caused by half-done staircases. I realize my avoidant, obsessive/compulsive behaviors, and the apathy are maladaptive. I have suicidal ideas that I don’t act on because I don’t want to mess up my nieces, who I don’t ever talk to anyway. However, I think that if something were to happen that required my action to save my life, I probably wouldn’t act at all. Then at least it wouldn’t have been death by suicide. I turn on the TV and look at it, but I don’t really watch it. I just zone out with my eyes open. This and more has been going on for years. -- Opinions? Should I bother submitting a claim?
  8. I started with a succinct, matter-of-fact approach but it's ended up like a long, winding soap opera recap. The actual MST events are easy. The guy even wrote out and signed everything, to include names, as a plea agreement. My concern mostly is what led up to it, and why those events at the very end of my active service were so impactful, but detailing that would mean giving an overview of at least three years of service, which might be a bit much. After I'm done with it I can post it here for feedback on it and if I should even bother submitting the claim, if that's ok.
  9. I'm putting together a narrative of what happened during my service. There are court martial records, so establishing the events isn't an issue. My question is how much detail should i provide about my experiences? That is, should i detail just the exact events or should i explain what happened during my service that led up to the events as well?
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