Lagin02

Sorry! I can only speak to what I have seen . I absolutely will be posting a big name dropping detailed post with a nice donation from my husband’s backpay. I am so thankful for this forum! There oh go ruining your reputation again! I will be fine. If I can have the peace of mind that my kids will be okay and my husband can get the help he needs, 90% my stress will be gone. I feel like the last year has been a series of unfortunate events. Next year will be better and this will just be a bad memory. Thank you. Thank you! THANK YOU!!!!!

I want to but I have to take care of the kids and I don’t want the baby to distract from his sessions. We don’t really have a lot of social support mainly because he has pushed them all away. It’s Cognitive Processing Therapy. His spiral started as soon as he started going to the VA. He hasn’t talked about what happened with anyone. I found out about it from other wives in the FRG. I think just having to talk about it has exacerbated his symptoms. The therapist isn’t focusing on the stressor anymore and mainly just coping strategies until he can go to the program they are recommending in Chicago. He is seeing a VA psychiatrist for his medication but the guy spends about 20 minutes with him and he only sees him once a month. I don’t understand this either but he doesn’t tell them everything. I interrupted his session to report he was making comments about suicide and he was pissed off at me for doing it. He yelled at me to get out. Once I left, he did disclose what he was thinking in regards to ending his life. The therapist developed a “safety plan,” which didn’t really do anything. He admitted to being aggressive towards me and others but not the severity of it. If I could give them information I would but I don’t want to do it while he’s there because honestly he scares me when he gets angry. He hasn’t been this bad in a long time. I don’t even think it was this bad when he first came home. He actually wants to go to the program in Chicago because he’s afraid of his aggression while being in treatment (at least according to what he told the therapist.) He has told me that he plans on going but not the reason. I wish we could have him go before the claims are worked out but that means leaving me to try and move out of our house with our young daughter and infant son. I literally can’t do it by myself. I’m still recovering from the preeclampsia I developed during my pregnancy with our son last December. He wants to do electroshock or ketamine something? He keeps saying that he can’t talk about it and views these as alternatives that can treat it without having to face it.

So I just checked my husband’s ebenifits and we finally have movement! It went into preparation for decision! Estimated completion between 9/17-9/23.

Fortunately, I discovered my husband had a TSP which can get us to December 1st: if it’s still not resolved by than my best friend said we could stay with her. This is what I’m afraid of because I read it can take even longer to resolve but I followed he advise of VetQuest, Geekysquid, and Shrekthetank1 and informed (threatened) them that I had contact the media. However, I’m hoping that it doesn’t come to actually having to humiliate our family like that You are so kind! I really appreciate the offer! Fortunately, my best friend said we could stay with her if needed. She lives in my daughter’s district too so she won’t have to switch schools. I am in awe of the kindness and generosity shown on this site. So many of you have taken time out of what I’m sure are busy schedules to help and answer questions. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart! I honestly don’t know what I would have done without everyone providing me with the information I need to advocate for my husband. Thank you for offering us a place to stay! It means so much to know there are kind hearted people like you, VetQuest, Shrekthetank1, and of course (even though he will never admit it), GeekySquid.

It is a three week program through Rush University and Wounded Warriors Project. Is there any reason the VA would be referring him outside the VA system? How do you get them to talk to you? I tried calling in when he started to become suicidal and they told me to “have the veteran call in.” If that was an option, I would have done that to begin with but he’s not rational sometimes. This makes sense because that is what seems to be driving many of his issues. He made a decision that led to the insistent and blames himself. It’s not even rational as anyone would have made the same call but there is no talking him out of it. You can here but not when your terminated for misconduct. He had a civilian job. With the guard you only drill one weekend out of the month when inactive. He went off on his boss and called her some pretty derogatory things. The guard is still paying him for drill even though he can’t attend until “a physician determines his fitness for duty” but it’s only about $300 a month. He also has been diagnosed by the VA with Major Depression. He did get a TBI but he never showed up for his appointment for that. I wonder if this isn’t also an issue because he has delayed responses. Like it takes so long for him to respond that people end up repeating themselves because they think he didn’t hear them. Maybe an issue with his receptive language? I’m pretty sure the staring off into space started when he started taking medication though. I don’t know! The VA doesn’t really tell me anything and he doesn’t talk to me so the only things I know, I’ve read in his blue button notes. I really hope your right. I thought treatment would make him better. He just keeps spiraling and I don’t know how much lower this can go. I’m afraid I’m going to lose him.

The senators office got back to me today. They requested documents to prove what I was saying and I sent them everything. The DHS notice of cancellation of our food assistance over $10, the VA homeless note out of my husbands blue button report, past due bills, and case status with completion date on VA.gov. I sent everything and including a form for my husband to sign allowing the senator to do a inquiry. Under the section asking for details I wrote “a news organization is interested in doing an interview but they want to do it while we are throwing our stuff out to go to a homeless shelter and I would prefer not to humiliate my children and husband if I can prevent it. They called my 10 minutes after I faxed it and said they are requesting a “dire need decision” and senators aid said she already spoke with her VA lesion to let her know that the paperwork would be sent by tomorrow morning and this needs to be resolved quickly. She also said that someone from VBA (I think) would be contacting me soon to assist with past due bills.

I’m just taking it one day at a time. Thank you! I’m not giving up!

even bureaucrats have family and heart strings. If you get them on your side they can move mountains. If they are unwilling then bring out the proverbial flame thrower and burn that mother down in the press and social media. The roof! the roof! the roof is on fire, we don't need no water let the ........... if you know the rest of that lyric you know my opinion on what you should do to anyone who pulls this BS on a family about to be kicked to the curb by bureaucratic nonsense. They said there are other veterans with hardships as well. I did ask to speak to a supervisor and they said one would call in 24-48 hours. I’m definitely calling the numbers you posted because the representative said the supervisor will just repeat she already told me, which was essentially nothing. It’s a Thrift Savings Plan through the military. Apparently we can borrow from it but have to pay it back (they take out a portion of his drill checks) or the IRS will charge us 10% tax on it. They didn’t need proof of hardship to take it out. They just sent me a form to fill out and it had to be notarized and sent back. Do they though? I don’t know. They seem to be the ones with the “cold, black, ink sac hearts.” When I told the representative that my kids are going to be homeless, she offered to reconnect me to the VA homeless hotline to get “family housing.” The same line that told me they could put my husband in transitional housing but me and my kids “would need to find somewhere else to go.” Ugh! So frustrating! It’s like a maze that leads to the same dead end. Careful, your going to ruin your reputation saying stuff like that. In all seriousness though, this must happen quite frequently. I have never encountered a situation with any bureaucracy quite like this. I had an easier time dealing with an IRS audit a couple years ago. No one will tell you anything! I asked the woman what they were still trying to determine so I could see what I could do to get additional evidence and she said “they will contact you if they need anything.”

It is pretty clear this is going to take a lot longer. The initial estimated completion date was October. When I expedited it, they changed it to November. Tonight they said it changed to January of 2020. They have all the paperwork and they said they aren’t waiting for anything so I’m not sure why they keep increasing the date. I found out my husband has a TSP and we can pull the money out of it so I am waiting for that to transfer. It’s enough to cover our bills for 2 more months. I did get the job! I got it so I can buy groceries and diapers. DHHS gave us emergency food benefits but we only got them for one month before they shut them off. Apparently it was because we didn’t include the $10 in my daughter’s savings account in our assets on our application. They said it will take a couple weeks to resolve but that was a month ago. Every time I call they say to call back the following week. I’m not holding my breath. I appreciate your prayers! I am definitely pretty close to involving the news. I have been writing out a letter to send to all the local and national news organizations that I can find. I figure at least one may pick up the story. It just makes me so upset that they treat people like this. We have literally taken every avenue to resolve this and each road is a dead end. Maybe some bad news coverage will make them reevaluate how they handle these situations in the future.

I’m still waiting to hear something. His e-benefits came back up. The portal and the VA representative I spoke with said that all documents are turned in and they aren’t waiting for anything but only one document as been reviewed. I clicked the Make Decision Now button last week but still nothing. I have a job interview tomorrow doing in home ABA therapy. It’s nights so I’m hoping my husband will be able to manage while I’m gone. The baby usually sleeps but it scares the hell out of me because my husband is just not doing well. The medication seemed to help at first but now it’s back to staring at walls. I just don’t have a choice right now. I’m just trying to stay positive.

My personal opinion is that a person with a “cold (squid) ink bladder heart” wouldn’t dedicate so much of their time assisting others. I must have asked at least 50 questions. I sincerely appreciate your help and everyone else who has responded. I have gotten more information here than I have from the VA and the many hours on the phone with different agencies and researching on the internet. I will let you know what the end result is. I hit the button that I have nothing further to submit so now I just have to wait and see how it goes. Thank you all!!!

I don’t think your being mean! I sincerely appreciate you answering all my questions. I’m going to submit it now. I was just nervous because when this happened, the police showed up at my house and threatened to take my daughter away if I didn’t tell them my husband was abusive. The hospital staff and police acted like he was a criminal.

So do you think I should submit it? Would it even help his claim at all? He’s sincerely not a violent person normally. I don’t want to paint him out to be a abusive POS because he’s really not. I realize most DV victims say this but this doesn’t follow the cycle of abuse. It literally came out of nowhere for no reason. I was just walking past him sleeping in the chair with a laundry basket.

He is still in but not active. He’s in the National Guard now but they put him on disability leave while he’s in treatment.

I’m worried he will get in trouble with the military. Can they see what I submit to the VA? I know they are tracking his treatment but I don’t know if that’s the same as his disability case. I meant to block anything identifiable but I missed it twice.

So I just got the hospital records from the incident and I’m not sure if I should turn them in. I posted below. Do you think he will get in trouble? The police were screaming at me to tell them the truth like they were going to haul him off to jail but I see the doctor didn’t add that he was sleeping when this occurred even though I told them that multiple times.

Yes, I filed for hardship back in June. The VA put a flag in the account a week later. It’s actually flagged twice, once for financial hardship and once for homeless veteran, although we technically still have until the end of September before that happens.

Where do you get these? That is hilarious!

Just the first four. The ones you posted below is what got me to buddy to buddy and the VBA, which is part of the reason I think this got moved along. I really appreciated those! I have the reporters number still too just in case.

The first link took me to a form to fill out for the Michigan Veterans Trust Fund but apparently it’s not the actual find but the county VSO office who when refers you to the trust fund. The VSO responded to my form by calling and telling me to call my VSO at the DAV. Which has been a dead end. The second link took me to other links for organizations are authorized to give out vouchers for HUD-VASH, which we are not eligible for because we have no income. Some of the places were senior living homes. Others were for the main state funds that we aren’t eligible for (SSVF, MVTF, & SRF) Almost all funds require you be able to maintain your financial situation if they assist you in getting caught up. It’s amazing that so many organizations offer housing assistance but they all tend to lead back to the same sources with high requirements for eligibility. There were other forms of assistance too like food banks and shelters but fortunately I have been able to maintain our groceries. The third link was a news release on how the county VSOs “mission to end veteran homelessness but when I called they said they only do assistance in applying for VA disability and process applications for the funds I posted above. The fourth link led me back to the Michigan Veterans Trust fund. It seems to me that all these organizations advertise offering these services but they all led you back to the same 4 main state funding sources which you can apply for without them not that it matters because the have such a high eligibility threshold. Of all the many numbers I called the only one that was particularly helpful was the buddy to buddy program. They sent me to MBHV who helps with rent and utilities and a program called Vets Returning Home which allows for families to stay in their shelter.

Here is everything but his history. It would be easy to identify him based on that and it provides names of others in his unit and command

Thank you!

So I just got his c&p report. The examiner confirmed ptsd and stated that “it is at least as likely as not that it was caused by or as a result of his in-service stressor.” Under opinion it says “direct service connection.” Do you think he will be rated based on that?

I actually submitted one in the very beginning of this process. I gave them my lay statement, his lay statement, a signed memorandum sending him to the combat stress control unit in Iraq after the incident, the PHA forms (like the one I posted above), his VA treatment records with his diagnosis, and a Statement in Support of Claim form that they sent us a couple weeks ago. I was thinking about pulling my hospital records and the report the hospital made to the police after he strangled me while having a nightmare 2 years ago. I stupidly told the hospital what happened and that he had PTSD (thinking they wouldn’t consider it domestic violence since he was sleeping). Do you think that would help or could it get him in trouble?

Will this impact his rating? This form was filled out about 6 months after his deployment to Iraq where the stressor occurred. I’m not sure she actually talked to him because he marked off nightmares and she said he was sleeping well. I know he wasn’t sleeping well at that time. I had to buy sheets at least once a month because he would flail around in bed and it tore the elastic edges.