KevinB1900

Hey, I’m service connected at 100% (multiple service connections) for my service in the DMZ along the border of North Korea in 1981 and 1982, I was 11-B (infantry, M60 machine-gunner). I didn’t know I had problems until years later, I was living a hard dangerous life, had violent - suicidal and homicidal tendencies. I didn’t expect to get 100%, but I got it. When I ended up stateside from my tour in the DMZ, I was flipping out in the barracks, had problems focusing on my duty / responsibilities, eventually was discharged. When I was being discharged I was handed my Army 201 file by an E-6, he said, “here, you’re gonna need this.” My Army 201 file has a stamp on it stating my security clearance form (I signed) was removed. We (my unit) was comprised of tier-level specialist, we conducted / participated in ops that I don’t feel comfortable talking about, I was told by a high level VA employee to be careful what I share or talk about with staff or mental health practitioners. So, I don’t share, and that causes me to struggle, because some of the things I struggle with have created moral-injury. It took me many years to receive my service connection. The VA had no record of me ever serving in that theater, they said, “you weren’t there.” I had to produce a medal I had received stating I was there and mentioned my combat duty / patrols along the border of North Korea. Even then, the VA Claims refused to acknowledge my involvement, I contacted the library back in Virginia (DC) and asked for unclassified records of my units ops, I received an email from a Ph.D. stating, “we have one brief mention of your unit doing ops,” he recommended I contact the department of the Army at the Pentagon. This told me my units operation records were still, classified, hence why the VA claims had no way of verifying my presence and participation in classified ops. I also think it’s because my company commander/s were Green Berets and others in my unit were Tier-Level specialists / operators. I took my Army 201 file to one of my hearings and showed it to the person who interviewed me, he said, “where’d you get that? You’re not supposed to have that!” At that time they were able to see records in my Army 201 file, proof! After many years and an attorney, I was granted service connections, one being for PTSD for my duty in the DMZ. Note: I witnessed the death my team leader who was a Green Beret, and I almost died (one of my team saved my life). I have never been the same since I returned stateside. One more thing, we were out on an op and I got sick, they put something in our water (canteens), it made our water turn blue and had dark blue globules, to this day I have problems with my heart and digestion and kidneys, I also have head aches, sometimes massive ones. I didn’t have those issues before I went to Korea. The Agent Orange recognition by the VA only goes to 1971. However, the foliage along the DMZ and surrounding the guard posts was either non-existent or appeared to be stunted. The water we drank I believe was treated by a radioactive substance, it tasted metallic and chemical. I haven’t applied for Agent Orange because of the recognition cutoff year by the VA’s recognition for claims for Agent Orange on the DMZ, but the half life of Agent Orange is 10 years. Our water was taken from the river or wells, hence, the defoliant would still be present to come degree in the ground and run off water. When people ask where I served, I tell them, I don’t like talk about it. In the past when I spoke of it I was either dismissed or they thought I was lying. “You’re too young to have fought in the Korean War.” I struggle and have problems and live in my vehicle, I can’t handle living in an apartment or house, and suffer with PTSD pretty bad, there are times I wake up screaming, sweaty, angry, homicidal and suicidal ideation, feeling guilt and rage. The propaganda speakers that blared constantly keeping us awake, masking enemy movement and impacting us with PSYOP’s caused me sound hearing sensitivity and triggers. Sounds of screaming or crying can send me through the roof and I have end up in a rage! I was hesitant to write this but hope it helps. Take care.