My Husband Died. Now What?

[free_spirit_etc]

My husband died February 5th. He had a claim for service connection for lung cancer pending at the RO. I am thinking that they close the claim -- and I have to file a seperate claim for his claim (as it stood) to be granted for back pay. And that I need to file for DIC even though his claim has not been approved yet. I am assuming we lost the ability to apply for the life insurance that would have been availbale to him had they approved his claim before he died.

I am not really at a place where I can research all of this yet. But looking for some words of wisdom.

Free

[Pete53]

Free:

If you are happy than so am I. It seems like there are still some who honor promises and I hope that you take the time to send a letter commending the man who is going to arrange TAP's for your husband.

Please let us know when the ceremony is supposed to happen so that I can take a time out to think of you and your husband.

I will light a Mexican Novena Candle and ask God to give you comfort and peace. The candle usually burns for 7 days and every time I look at it I will pray for you.

[Berta]

I commend you for pursuing this Free-

this is NOT a small thing-

and I wondered-thinking at first this was a VA cemetery- how could they possibly screw up-and I am glad the VA didnt. Their cemetery system is usually excellent.

We did have an awful problem- last year no one contacted the Legion or anyone for a color guard and military services for a widow whose husband ws SC and died-I think he died right at the VAMC next to the cemetery.

The minister or one of the cemeteries guys-forget who --- told me she was livid over this-

but appearently it is up to the family to get this stuff arranged.

As I recall the funeral director didnt even ask me if this had all been taken care of-maybe he did- but maybe it is their job to ask and then help with that.

Good thing for vets to know- not only make sure the spouse knows where all the important paperwork is but also how to contact someone if a military service is desired.

There is great Peace when a military funeral goes well.

VA even allowed all the people at the Chapel to use the bus and we didnt have to walk up the hill into the cemetery.

I dont know who arranged that. I was surprised on the VA bus to see his shrink and many of the day treatment vets and many VA employees get on the bus too as they were sitting behind me in the chapel.I didnt even know they were there.

3 or 4 vets got here from the PTSD inhouse program Rod was in 3 weeks before he died-

The wannabee didnt come but two of the social workers came- all the way from Buffalo-

I am sorry I am going on here maybe should be in social-

but men and women -death is inevitable and there is great Peace knowing that the vet, in their death, can be showed final honor and respect.

I am glad Free told us here what happened- because the memory of your service lingers long after your eventual death and it has a value that MUST be acknowledged in a proper way.

Edited February 16, 2007 by Berta

[Pete53]

When my Father died my oldest son accompanied me to go to the funeral and arrange it. Truthfully I did not do much and just paid for my share of costs as my brothers and a sister shared to cost.

At the end of the ceremony they presented the flag to my Sister and she gave it to my son. To this date 25 years later my son treasures the flag and displays it at his house to honor my Dad's Service.

Sometimes you never know how others will be affected .

[free_spirit_etc]

Thanks Berta -- I am glad I pursued it too - and didn't just let it be explained away as "those things happen." I was NOT being petty to try to assure my husband got the honor he deserved. He expected it. He deserved it. He will get it.

Free

I commend you for pursuing this Free-

this is NOT a small thing-

and I wondered-thinking at first this was a VA cemetery- how could they possibly screw up-and I am glad the VA didnt. Their cemetery system is usually excellent.

We did have an awful problem- last year no one contacted the Legion or anyone for a color guard and military services for a widow whose husband ws SC and died-I think he died right at the VAMC next to the cemetery.

The minister or one of the cemeteries guys-forget who --- told me she was livid over this-

but appearently it is up to the family to get this stuff arranged.

As I recall the funeral director didnt even ask me if this had all been taken care of-maybe he did- but maybe it is their job to ask and then help with that.

Good thing for vets to know- not only make sure the spouse knows where all the important paperwork is but also how to contact someone if a military service is desired.

There is great Peace when a military funeral goes well.

VA even allowed all the people at the Chapel to use the bus and we didnt have to walk up the hill into the cemetery.

I dont know who arranged that. I was surprised on the VA bus to see his shrink and many of the day treatment vets and many VA employees get on the bus too as they were sitting behind me in the chapel.I didnt even know they were there.

3 or 4 vets got here from the PTSD inhouse program Rod was in 3 weeks before he died-

The wannabee didnt come but two of the social workers came- all the way from Buffalo-

I am sorry I am going on here maybe should be in social-

but men and women -death is inevitable and there is great Peace knowing that the vet, in their death, can be showed final honor and respect.

I am glad Free told us here what happened- because the memory of your service lingers long after your eventual death and it has a value that MUST be acknowledged in a proper way.

[free_spirit_etc]

Thanks Pete. This is beautiful - as is the story of the flag. And yes, I do need to send a letter commending the man who is arranging this. I know those letters mean a lot. My husband saved each and every one he got.

The Novena candle sounds beautiful.

Free

Free:

If you are happy than so am I. It seems like there are still some who honor promises and I hope that you take the time to send a letter commending the man who is going to arrange TAP's for your husband.

Please let us know when the ceremony is supposed to happen so that I can take a time out to think of you and your husband.

I will light a Mexican Novena Candle and ask God to give you comfort and peace. The candle usually burns for 7 days and every time I look at it I will pray for you.

[free_spirit_etc]

Thank you Josephie. You have always been one of our favorite cheerleaders on this claim. :)

Free

Free Spirit,

I am so sorry to hear of your husbands passing. I sure wish that things could have been settled for you and him.

I was thinking about you just a couple of days ago.

I know how deserving he was of his claim.

If I can do anything, please feel free to let me know.

Always,

Josephine