Hi:
I know exactly where you are at. What you need to do is hang in there NOW, and deal with this as soon as possible. Things get different, better in some ways, but your old self won't return.
Don't do like I did, and put it off for over 40 years! That's a perscription for disaster. I went for decades not being able to hold a job, violence, broken marriage, became homeless for 10 years, until I finally got into the VA and started dealing with my shit.
What I am saying is; as hard as things seem to be now, they can improve. Your best chance of regaining some of the old you back is to deal with this as soon as you can and don't put it off even if you get discouraged.
Welcome home, and good luck.