Dic

[LizR]

My mother is entitled DIC. I applied for her in May but have not had a response about the DIC. They did send her a check for $800 for burial expenses from 20 years ago they said they owe her. They just said they did not service connect my dad at his death but they have now determined that he died of a service connected disability in a VA hospital. I did request back pay even though they said it was not authorized because my mother did not request service connection when he died. They said at the time his prostrate cancer was not service connected so why would she apply?. I argued their reasoning.

Anyway, my mother needs assisted living because she falls and she also takes too many pain pills and gets hooked. Spends too much time in hospitals getting off meds and comes home and starts all over. She will not stay with me..I tried that for 3 months. She fights me when taking control of her meds. She is too hard to handle and I am 100% S/C . The stress is too much for me. She has been in a rhab center 2 days now and I am getting ready to see a social worker Monday or Tuesday. I am her only caregiver and I can not handle her anymore along with my S/c disabilities. I have power of Attorney but so does my sister who lives in Milwaukee. My sister just says she does not want to get in the middle. It is easy to say when not living near mom. My sister does own the house my mother lives in. here in Florida. She bought my moms house about 3 months ago. That is all she wanted and went back home. She expects me to care for Mom and keep the house from going to medicare. I can not do this anymore and stay healthy myself.

She is on Tricare and has all the military benefits. Are there some benifits with DIC that will help with assisted living and help with some of the expenses?

Any suggestions greatly welcome...

Liz in Hudson Florida

100% S/C USAF

[Pete53]

For your Mom to get proper care the House may have to go to Medicare even with DIC. You did not say if she got Social Security or a Pension. This is really to much a burden for you to take on you need help. Maybe your sister should come down and meet with a Social Worker and a VA Service3 Officer. My guess is that if a miracle happens you Mom could get DIC but it would go back to when you appllied. This is my opinion as I am no expert on these matters.

Please get some help this is way to much for someone in your spot.

[Guest Jim S.]

Since your sister has bought the home, you will have to accound for the money she paid your mother with.

i.e. This includes any money she gets from any sources. Also did you or sister make allowances for capital gains on your mothers earnigs from the sale of the house? As long as these are accounted for and the money is spent for her care, then their should be no problem with medicare or anyone else taking the house or saying the sale of the house was in order to prevent them from doing so. Plus the sale of the house must be for fair market value.

With the kind of money we are talking about, I hope you are keeping very good books.

Jim S.

[LizR]

For your Mom to get proper care the House may have to go to Medicare even with DIC. You did not say if she got Social Security or a Pension. This is really to much a burden for you to take on you need help. Maybe your sister should come down and meet with a Social Worker and a VA Service3 Officer. My guess is that if a miracle happens you Mom could get DIC but it would go back to when you appllied. This is my opinion as I am no expert on these matters.

Please get some help this is way to much for someone in your spot.

Thanks Pete;

My Mom does get Social Security and Military survivors benefits. I personally do not care if the house or her money goes towards her care. My sister has a different opinion but she only comes here to Florida for a few short weeks a year. She does not see or does not want to see the problems. She will not go see anyone that will want to put my mother in assisted living as that will make her possibly lose the house. I will be the "bad" person if mom gets assisted living and her money is used up. I will see what the social worker says on Tuesday.

Liz

[LizR]

Since your sister has bought the home, you will have to accound for the money she paid your mother with.

i.e. This includes any money she gets from any sources. Also did you or sister make allowances for capital gains on your mothers earnigs from the sale of the house? As long as these are accounted for and the money is spent for her care, then their should be no problem with medicare or anyone else taking the house or saying the sale of the house was in order to prevent them from doing so. Plus the sale of the house must be for fair market value.

With the kind of money we are talking about, I hope you are keeping very good books.

Jim S.

My sister did not pay but a $1 to transfer/buy the house. The deal is I get the money my mother has in savings and mys sister gets the house. Both apx equal 50K. The money is still in my mothers name and mine. I do not care about getting the money. Especially if I can stay healthier if my mother is taken care of by professionals. I just can not continue helping a difficult parent. I wish I could and I have tried but it has not been good for me.

Liz

[Guest Jim S.]

["My sister did not pay but a $1 to transfer/buy the house. The deal is I get the money my mother has in savings and mys sister gets the house. Both apx equal 50K. The money is still in my mothers name and mine."]

As I said, the Medicare and/or State, County agencies will look upon that type of deal as possibly trying to hide her assets, They only concider the fair market value and the same for capital gains on the sale.. As to money in the bank, even if it is in both your names, they would compair her monthly contribution and yours and if you are living with her, they will probably split the money according to the percentage that she puts in compaired to what you put in.

I would whole heartedly recommend that you consult an Estate Attorney to see what is legal to do and what isn't so both you and your sister don't loose out in the long run or short, for that matter.

Oh! one more thought, since the home was sold to your sister, has she changed the name of ownership with the personal property tax registrar and are the taxes up to date? Ownership change should be recorded, to help show the legal convaence of the home into your sisters name. Again an Estate Attorney could tell you more on what has to be done and what needs to be paid and to whom.

Jim S.

[LizR]

["My sister did not pay but a $1 to transfer/buy the house. The deal is I get the money my mother has in savings and mys sister gets the house. Both apx equal 50K. The money is still in my mothers name and mine."]

As I said, the Medicare and/or State, County agencies will look upon that type of deal as possibly trying to hide her assets, They only concider the fair market value and the same for capital gains on the sale.. As to money in the bank, even if it is in both your names, they would compair her monthly contribution and yours and if you are living with her, they will probably split the money according to the percentage that she puts in compaired to what you put in.

I would whole heartedly recommend that you consult an Estate Attorney to see what is legal to do and what isn't so both you and your sister don't loose out in the long run or short, for that matter.

Oh! one more thought, since the home was sold to your sister, has she changed the name of ownership with the personal property tax registrar and are the taxes up to date? Ownership change should be recorded, to help show the legal convaence of the home into your sisters name. Again an Estate Attorney could tell you more on what has to be done and what needs to be paid and to whom.

Jim S.

Thanks for all your help Jim...This is getting away from my orginal DIC question so maybe I need to switch to Social Chat not to upset the rules of the board....Liz

Edited October 31, 2005 by LizR