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MKAH
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Posts posted by MKAH
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I'll try and make this brief,
#1) My 86-year-old, air force retired biological father's health has declined to a point where I have contacted his VA primary care doctor to determine his ability to drive safely. His GP agreed with my assessment and sent the DMV a retest required suspension. After talking with my father, he admitted he would not be able to pass a driving test, so he has voluntarily given up his license and now has a ID card only which I was directly involved in. I have sold his truck and paid off the loan that he had on that vehicle.
#2) I have been added to my father bank account where his social security is being deposited
#3) I have recently had him fill out
a. Advanced Health Directive
b. Durable Power of Attorney
Both of which are notarized.#4) I have created and account in MyHealthEVet, and upgraded that account to premium so I can review his medical care and direct message his healthcare team (which I have been doing)
#5) The MHV login credentials allow me to log into VA.GOV under his username.#6) I have created an Ebenifits account for him, however after multiple attempts to upgrade that account (he is not able to successfully recall the answers to the challenge questions in the allotted time). After speaking with the Ebenifits DS Login staff on the phone (multiple times) while my father was present we were still not able to upgrade his account. Recently, My dad and I again called the DS login tech support staff to try and work out the upgrade problem, but I was told that his account is now LOCKED due to suspicious and or fraudulently (me and my dads) activity and would be available for upgrade status in 31 days. What a Fng shit show.
#6) I believe it's prudent for me to apply for Fiduciary responsibility for my father for the following reasons.
a. I asked his wife, (my step mother) about his service connected disabilities and she said the only thing he gets from the VA are free hearing aids and medical care. When looking around in MHV and VA.GOV I found that for the past ten years he has been service connected for PTSD (Viet Nam Combat) and is also SC for hearing loss. VA.GOV shows that his combined SC is 40% and is paid approximately $750 dollars each month. After recently asking my father several times if he was aware of any service-connected benefits from the VA, if he has ever applied for such benefits or if he is aware of any monthly compensation for SC disabilities. He said no. I don't; know if his mental decline prohibits his ability to remember, or if he simply doesn't know. In either case, I feel that this needs to eventually be brought to his attention for the following reasons.
b. My father’s Airforce retirement and his SC disability income are direct deposited into an account controlled by his wife (my step mother) which he has no realistic access to. My father is ware that his retirement income is deposited into this account, as is his wife's retirement income and that this account is used for the expenses related to the home, utilities, mortgage, tax and related expenses. He has no idea of the balance oif this account, or what the money is being used for. He certainly does not know that SC income from the past ten years is being deposited into this account. After speaking with his wife, I inquired with her about becoming a co-signer on this account but she is reluctant to do so.c. I am not suggesting any nefarious action or motive by his wife of 50+ years, as she has historically managed the finances within there relationship from the beginning. However, there relationship after 50 years if marriage from my point of view is rather caustic and I believe that they remain married (sleeping in separate rooms) for financial convenance more than anything else.
d. My stepmother is aware that I now possess a notarized durable power of attorney relating to my father’s health and financial well fair. However, I am curious about the reluctance of my stepmother to allow me direct access to the joint account where my fathers retirement and SC disability is being deposited. Also, I am curious about the SC disability and how she claims she does not have knowledge of that income. Especially considering COLA notification and other VA letters specifically describing topic pertaining to SC income.
For the past few months, I have worked with my stepsister (whom I get along with well-but does not have a positive relationship with my father) in working out the details of a TRUST that is being put together by a local lawyer. The trust will be designed to instruct me and my sister on the distribution of assets and keep a surviving spouse from transferring the property into his/her name and excluding the other children. I will mention that the estate after expenses (eg, Mortgage to Value) appears to be very low if not negative.
I have purposefully not been more aggressive in attempting to find out the answers to the above questions, until the TRUST is finalized, which will happen sometime late April.
Now, the question(s)
#1) Do you believe I should apply for fiduciary responsibility for VA and also SS income and all of my fathers related expenses? (If so, where would I start)?
#2) Do you believe I should mind my own business and not risk stirring up trouble which would possibly lead to the remaining years of my stepmother and fathers’ lives being even more caustic and complicated?
If you have made it this far, thank you for letting me explain my situation and ask the two questions?
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I agree OCR is much better than in the old days. But I think the O in OCR is: Optical.
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On 6/3/2021 at 10:48 AM, aggravating_coyote said:
My concerns relate to benefits, such as SSDI, county property taxes and disabled veteran license plate. The applications state that the veteran must be 100% permanently and totally disabled. I'm worried that even though my TDIU is P&T, and I am paid at the 100% level, my actual service-connected rating is not 100%.
I'm worried that the agencies will not see me as 100% rated...
This is what the property tax exemption rules are for the county I live in. Shasta county, California.
....The property must be the veterans’ principal place of residence.
and
The veteran, veteran’s spouse, or both the veteran and veteran’s spouse must be on title
to the property (including ownership in a corporation).
and
The veteran, due to a service connected condition, is rated by the Veterans
Administration as 100% disabled, is compensated as 100% disabled, is blind in both
eyes, or has lost the use of two or more limbs....I hope this helps..
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Thank you Berta, and thank you for the links.
YES, His wife does get SS. It seems you might qualify for the Dependency allowance but I am not sure how that would be affected by his wife's income.- SSA etc.
Yes, I think so, he gets hearing aids from the VA, but I am not sure of he is actually service connected. Does your father have any service connected disability rating ?
Yes, some kind of military retirement, I assume he might get CRDP or CRSC???? After 20 years Ret.,
No, He was a three tour Viet Nam vet, Maybe not - Was he a Korean War Veteran?
Yes, I assume he does get Military Retirement from USAF.
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I hope this is the correct place for this question rather than the CAREGIVER section. Anyway, here goes.
My father (a 20 year honorably discharged, retired air force veteran) that is now 88 years old, now requires assistance that his wife, my stepmother (also 88 years old) is not able to provide for him as she is also, no longer capable of doing so.
By next week, I will have full power of attorney over my father's healthcare, property, banking & any other assets and liabilities going forward until he passes away.
While he is currently able to watch TV, dress, bath, groom, cook simple meals and feed himself, he is not able to do the following:
Drive, as he has severe, and uncontrolled vertigo, forgets where he lives and can no longer see in low light conditions. (Soon, I will ask his VA primary care to consider reviewing his health and possibly contacting the DMV regarding suspending his driver's license due to safety concerns).
He is unable to schedule, get to and from, hear or comprehend medical information or directions, get to and from pharmacies for his medications, from any Doctor or healthcare representative he encounters. Or anyone for that matter.
He is not able to pay bills specifically relevant to him (Phone and car, mortgage, payments), understand debt, income, savings or any fiscally related task or topics. (His wife, my stepmother, is currently paying the household bills thru a joint account and his personal liabilities thru his account which she is a signatory on).
His mental acuity is what I personally consider to be notably worse than a person of his age. Such as him possibly attempting to work on household electrical systems, climb ladders, etcetera. I visited him yesterday and his land line phone does not function, he does not understand how to use his cell phone, his doorbell does not function, and he cannot hear me knock on his front or rear door, requiring me to enter his house without permission.He may qualify for a bed in a local VA resident retirement facility, but I want to see how he does with my help before I make that inquiry.
Anyway, this will pretty much be a daily, nearly daily or on demand activity for me, but I will not have him living at my home and I will not be living at his home. When we reach that point I will find him a comfortable full care facility for his to reside in.
While he does have some days that are better than others, he remains consistently unreliable pertaining to the topics I have described above.
After looking around the internet and VA forums, I am not able to determine if he qualifies, and can be listed a dependent parent with the VA which would provide me about $112.00 monthly to me while I care for him. This would help to offset some of the expenses that I would incur while helping him thru this difficult portion of his long life.
If someone can give me an idea where to look, or let me know if that's even a thing I would be grateful?
Thank You so much.
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Good morning, everyone. First of all, I want to thank everyone for contributing to my question with a wide variety of perspectives and personal experience.
My attorney's case manager finally returned my email where I asked:
"In your recent message, you mentioned "....We are currently pending a Rating Decision in response to the Board Appeal filed 05/18/21...." (my assumption that we were making recent progress)
Did the BVA reach out to your legal team or send you some kind of electronic or written notification that my claim was pending a Rating Decision?"The attorney's case manager replay was:
"Your Board Appeal was filed on 05/18/2021 and we received fax confirmation on the same day. Board Appeals typically take longer to process than those sent to the Regional Office – the rough timeline is approximately 1 year pending."So it appears to me, that private VA law firms like mine, are as far behind as the BVA. Considering they filed the appeal seven months ago with same day fax confirmation, and I am just now being notified that my case is "..pending a Rating Decision...." Unfortunately, due to the recent email from my attorney's case manager, I allowed myself to believe that this seven-year journey was close to a conclusion. On the flip side, I suppose another year or so, is certainly nothing to complain about.
Thank You again, I really appreciate the support of members on this forum.
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14 hours ago, asknod said:
I'd add one comment to this chain. I was told I would never be granted access to my own file in VBMS back in '16. Just for S--ts and grins, I put in a VAF 21-22a on myself and bingo-I was in 4 days later. I don't think they dialed in on it. Most of us are granted what's called Level 6 clearance in VBMS. I had a glitch preventing me from seeing a client's file last month and my point of contact here in Seattle bumped me up to a Level 7 which is as high as an asst. RO director.
We can see rating decision ready for promulgation. We can see all the ratings decisions, code sheets, c&p exams and the medical opinions. We have access to VHA's VistA computer records on the client. We can see the rater's notes and the rationale for deferrals of claims. We cannot change anything in VBMS but I can change things like a Veteran's current address in VACOLS or upgrade an incorrect POA in CASEFLOW.
Best of all, we are given a VA Outlook email account which comes with an address book of every VA employee from a janitor to a nurse... or a DRO or a rater and his/her title, email address and telephone number. Even Denis the Menace' number and email.
A tech answering the 800 Dial-a-Prayer number has about a Level 3 and is extremely limited in what they can see. Oddly, my POC here in Seattle says they (VA employees) are not granted access to CASEFLOW. Period. It's like VACOLS and only deals with BVA appeals. I've also been told we can't access VACOLS but I haven't told them I can and do frequently. We can "see" a BVA decision grant or denial roughly 2 weeks before it's published and mailed.
One of these days VA will grant Vets access to this system in a very limited way. The operable phrase is "one of these days". Here's a partial screenshot of my landing page in VBMS. Each item under Document type is a .pdf we can open to view. There are approximately 3500 Attorneys accredited in this business. Most do more than just VA claims. Oddly, of the 1200-odd NOVA attorneys/agents who only do VA claims and appeals, only about 500 have VBMS access. It's not an arduous process but you have to pass a stupid idiot test for VSOs to get started. Then the fingerprints and the CBI. Then the six month wait as only the VA can make you wait. If I didn't know any better, I'd think they didn't want me nosing around in their computer.
Having VBMS access is a godsend. You can react almost as quickly as they publish it. Since they postdate the letters they send out, some of my §5103 acknowledgements arrive before the date they are mailed to me or the client. That really messes with their minds.
Happy New Year to all the Hadit crew and all you wonderful Vets.
Wow, that's very interesting. Thank you.
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3 hours ago, GBArmy said:
Also,ebenefits is going to be phased out. Veterans should use VA.gov as well as ebenefits so you can learn to navigate and find what you need going into the future.
GBArmy, Absolutely sir.
When I want to check the status of a given claim, I first look at disability % in EBenifits. If I see no change OR a change in percent, I then log into VA.GOV and look at the status of the specific claim.
It's been my experience that if VA.GOV describes we agree with your appeal and have over-ruled the claim bla bla bla, but Ebenefits shows no percent change, the claim was approved but rated at zero %. I know, because that happend to me.
Also, it's been my experience that Ebenifits updates the percent if any, about a day or two prior to VA.GOV describing the final status of the claim... for better or worse.And of course, "review your payment history" in VA.GOV is usually updated (if an increase was awarded - resulting in retro pay) about the same time as the disability percent in Ebenifits.
I'll certainly be happy when this process eventually comes to a conclusion and that future Veterans will eventually have one portal that provides everything, they need to follow claims and related information.
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18 minutes ago, pwrslm said:
One thing is the documents submitted with a claim. In va.gov it only shows that something was submitted, but EB showed the actual documents that could be read/downloaded. We can no longer insure that submitted evidence is actually what the RO has. Anything missed when documents get scanned into the system will not show up until the Vet gets a copy of the CFile after the claim is closed.
Since I have always been able to view documents that I have personally uploaded, in EB, I have never actually looked for them in VA.GOV.
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19 hours ago, brokensoldier244th said:
What can you specifically not see? I haven't used VA.gov at all except for printing up to date letters, or Ebenefits, in about 7 yrs. I finished filing my claims a long time ago. I do have an email to one of the development teams that works on VBMS and I could ask them about the team on VA.gov and who to contact for pushing feature requests if I have a list of something to give them.
My attorney stated in the email that: "...pending a Rating Decision in response to the Board Appeal...", however, VA.GOV shows "
Status: Your appeal is waiting to be sent to a judge." -
9 minutes ago, broncovet said:
Yes, its likely. "If" your attorney jumped through the hoops to obtain VBMS access, and it appears as if he did, yes, he can see much more than you.
VA does not currently allow Vets access to their VBMS file, only both VSO's and attorneys who have gone through the VA's vetting process which permits access to files he has POA on.
broncovet,
That is very helpful. A few minutes before you replied, I called the 800 number, and Peggy could not tell me anything other than it's "waiting to be sent to a law judge". However, Peggy did mention the claim went to the DOCKET on 05/18/21.
I forgot to mention the second part of the email from my attorney. Not that it matters but it is an interesting question.
" If you have received any recent VA correspondence, please be sure to inform our office. If there have been any updates to your medications, contact information, etc., please send the updated information."
I did have numerous mediation changes which I forwarded as requested.
Thank you again.
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A few days ago, my attorney sent me this email on a PTSD claim I filed back in 2016 and have appealed to the BVA. After getting this email, I checked eBenifits & VA.gov and they still read, "waiting to be sent to a law judge".
"I am reaching out to give an update on your case. We are currently pending a Rating Decision in response to the Board Appeal filed 05/18/21. If you have received any recent VA correspondence, please be sure to inform our office"
Thank You
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On 8/2/2020 at 4:58 PM, Lemuel said:
It really varies with the Director of the VAMC. I had a similar round trip in February from Torrington, WY to Hot Springs, SD for a C&P by a Nurse Practitioner. Hot Springs gave me the night before and because a snow storm moved in the night after. I was TDIU with a 70% base at the time. A little older at 78 with a 72 year old driving companion.
Denver VARO scheduled me to a CBOC in Golden, CO with traffic problems including a travel time in rush hour. Denver VARO wouldn't provide transportation. My wife, who drives in that situation, was out of the country. Both lodging and alternative transportation to POV were refused. I was at the same TDIU rating.
Two years earlier I was provided a Fisher room for a visit to the VAMC in Denver on a less stressful trip. Guess it depends upon the side of the bed the travel agent get up on more than anything else.
Lemuel,
Thank you for sharing your VA travel experience.
It really interesting that the disabled veteran travel policy is so poorly written and undefined while the VA employee travel policy is actually decently written and well defined (much like a large corporations employee travel policy).
If that were not the worse part, the Mileage Deductible that veterans pay and the 50% reduction veterans are supposed to get that VA Employee allowed food expense costs (which BTW has never been when I have submitted for it on my travel voucher). The response from the VA travel department employee simply said, we don't do that here.
I have seen plenty of stupid $hit in my life, but who actually decided that any of this is even close to a good idea?
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Another possible contact:
U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs
Office of Accountability and Whistleblower Protection
810 Vermont Avenue, NW, Mail Stop 70
Washington, D.C. 20420
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Link to Veteran Travel Policy
https://www.va.gov/health-care/get-reimbursed-for-travel-pay/#va-travel-pay-eligibility-for-I believe I found the correct contact address:
Agency overview Formed July 21, 1930
(Cabinet rank 15 March 1989)Preceding agency - Veterans Administration
Jurisdiction Federal government of the United States Headquarters Veteran Affairs Building
810 Vermont Avenue NW., Washington, D.C., United States
38°54′3.25″N 77°2′5.37″W
Employees 27,000 (Est) Annual budget $58.4 billion (2010) Agency executives -
Paul R. Lawrence, Ph.D.,
Under Secretary
for Benefits
Child agency Website vba.va.gov -
Just now, GBArmy said:
MKAH This isn't going to get you a very prompt answer probably, but why not try to contact Paul R. Lawrence, PhD, Under Sec. for Benefits. Give him the details and I suspect that he will direct it to someone in benefits that can give you direction. You'll have to do some searching on getting Lawrence's mail address.
OK, thank you. I'll do exactly that.
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Update: I was able to find some recently published VA information, but it really does little to answer the question other than the VA travel office can essentially do anything and get away with it.
In some cases, we may reimburse you for the actual cost, up to 50% of the local government employee rate, for meals or lodging. You’ll need to provide all receipts.
(Your medical condition, and) does not provided specifics on which condition(s) are required to qualify?
(How far you need to travel for care, and) does not provided specifics on distance required to qualify?
(Other circumstances) this is my favorite non answer... does not provided specifics on what Other circumstances are required to qualify?However, the VA Employee policy is very specific about the requirements for things like dry cleaning, interpreters, dining, ect...
I personally feel like a the VA treats me and my fellow compatriots like second class citizens, because the can get away with it.
*********see below for policy***********
Last updated: July 13, 2020
We determine the need for meals and lodging on a case-by-case basis based on:
- Your medical condition, and
- How far you need to travel for care, and
- Other circumstances
Except in certain unusual cases, you can only get this reimbursement if we approve it before you travel. We won’t reimburse you for lodging or meals if you chose to stop or take a less direct route to a VA or VA-authorized health facility.
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Hi everyone,
After waiting months for an appointment, three days before my travel date I was denied hotel lodging (by the travel department of the destination hospital Mather VAMC) that my neurologist properly submitted a referral for lodging for imaging & EEG (electroencephalogram) to rule out brain injury due to SYNOPE, which was estimated to take several hours. I lost my drivers license due to this condition so my wife would be taking me. We are in our sixties and I am 80% SC disabled.
The destination hospital is 175 miles away making it 350 miles round trip. Since the VA hospital is located on the far side of a major city from my location, the travel time is listed at “Typically 2:30 to 3:20 hours each way” on google maps. It has been my experience the actual time is usually 3:10 to 3:15 not counting unexpected traffic and or stops for restroom, food, and gas.After the denial, my VA Neurologist contacted the local patient advocate who confirmed I qualified for VA lodging for this specific appointment. The patient advocate then called the travel department of Mather VAMC, and was told by the travel department that it would not be covered as my appointment to not involve a “surgical procedure”.
My local patient advocate called me and said the Mather VAMC travel department was not going to approve the travel because the visit did not specifically involve a “surgical procedure” and was mystified by the decision. The patient advocate then contacted my neurologist and recommended that they place a referral for community care for the same procedure(s).
I have looked for the official VA policy on travel / lodging and am not able to find any reference to lodging for surgical procedures only. The VA policies I have found are somewhat vague regarding lodging other than they must be submitted in advance and pre-approved.
From my perspective, the Mather VAMC "Travel Department"" has independently decided to save less than $100 on a hotel in exchange for delaying my treatment, which required my Neurologist to outsource treatment to community care, that will likely result in paying a local hospital many thousands of dollars more than VA costs, to accomplish the same tests. In the old days, my generation referred to this as serious "overreach and red tape".
It is my impression that the Mather VAMC travel department has improperly denied the lodging request that my neurologist has properly submitted.
In order for me to better understand this issue, can someone please point me to the direction of the actual and official VA Policy regarding travel and lodging?
Thank You
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39 minutes ago, pacmanx1 said:
Words of encouragement. You still have the right to appeal. Since you already/still meet the TDIU criteria, I am quite sure that your attorney has it well in hand. About ten years ago when the BVA remanded my claim I thought my fight would be over soon. The VARO continued to deny my claim and sent my claim back to BVA. The BVA judge that remanded my claim then decided to deny my claim also. My VSO at the time told me I had no claim and I should quit before VA look into my other claims and reduce my ratings. I did the only thing I could do and fired him and his organization. I hired a lawyer and filed a claim to CAVC. When my claim got to CAVC my lawyer and VA lawyers filed a joint remand and when my claim went back to BVA, this time the BVA granted my claim. You can still win, don't give up.
Thanks you sir, your advice is noted and greatly appreciated.
Yesterday I was pretty down in the dumps but after I heard from several Hadit members and my lawyer, I am reinvigorated to continue this fight to the end. I have excellent friends, legal representation and I now service connection for PTSD, so I consider myself more fortunate that many other deserving Veterans.Until now, I thought the term; “delay and deny, until they all die” was largely exaggerated and that the VA would ultimately do the correct, legal and right thing. But as I crawl thru this broken system year after year, I now fully understand the relevance of that term.
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6 hours ago, GBArmy said:
MKAH It's discouraging, but you have a total rating of 80%, so this isn't your first rodeo. Get your letter and go over it carefully. You and your legal team will come up with a plan. It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings! Keep us informed.
Thank you so much GBArmy, I'll copy you on the same message I sent to T-Bird.
After some thought, I feel a bit relieved that the VA appears to have finally rated this as service connected which is probably the hard part?
My direct contact at my attorney's office emailed me back this morning and said that after we get the official written decision from the VA, we WILL be filing an appeal.I really appreciate the members on this board and will not let the VA break not let the VA break my will to pursue what is right.
The Army trained me to be a soldier and I'm gonna fight like hell until I win or I'm dead of old age. -
6 hours ago, Tbird said:
agreed it ain't over yet. take a deep breath and go over things with your lawyers and plan your next avenue of attack. Remember you are not alone we are all with you on this.
Thank you so much Tbird.
After some thought, I feel a bit relieved that the VA appears to have finally rated this as service connected which is probably the hard part?
My direct contact at my attorney's office emailed me back this morning and said that after we get the official written decision from the VA, we WILL be filing an appeal.I really appreciate the members on this board and will not let the VA break not let the VA break my will to pursue what is right.
The Army trained me to be a soldier and I'm gonna fight like hell until I win or I'm dead of old age. -
Well, unfortunately, it looks like bad news on my claim.
A week or so ago, Va.gov described that the BVA had reversed the original VARO denial and agreed that my PTSD was service connected.
However, Ebenifits just updated and its looking bad.
PTSD shows a rating of zero percent. And the effective date seems to be in error as it is the same as a more recent Migraine claim. I filed my PTSD claim on 11/14/2015, not the same as my Migraine claim which I filed on 8/1/2017. How strange is that?When I was originally rated for hearing loss and tinnitus, my VA letter stated that I had been awarded SC for both and that my hearing loss was 30%, but the bottom of the page said I was rated at zero %. I filed a CUE and about five months later is was corrected, as it had been keyed into the system incorrectly. I don't know if this recent ruling falls into that (CUE) category or not until I read it.
I guess when I get the official written decision with I hope a very detailed explanation, me and my attorney Woods & Woods will decide the best course of action.
As you can imagine, I'm heart broken over this incorrect decision.
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42 minutes ago, pacmanx1 said:
Hey, be forewarned but I don't know what is going on with VA but that 1 to 2 months is a lie/joke. I won a BVA grant last year and it is going a little over a year and no rating decision from VA. Yes I did have a remand and I did have to have a C & P exam which I don't know why since my claim was granted back to 1998. The decision will have to be determine from my records back then and not now. Just the games they play. I know some clams are faster and some take longer, just wanted you to know.
Its tough to read about the delays your have experienced.
I hope that in the future, the efficiency of this process will be improved for the sake of other veterans.
Thank you sir.
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7 hours ago, MKAH said:
pacmanx1
...Now your claim has to go back to the VARO to actually be rated and given a percentage of degree...pacmanx1, I recall that exact thing happening with my Migraine claim which was a BVA remand.
I did some quick math, and regardless if the PTSD claim is rated at 30, 50 or 70%, I will be moved into the 90% overall spot. Of course, it could be rated at zero, which would be terrible.
Anyway, as I mentioned my attorney will file for TDIU based on the addition of the Service Connected PTSD claim which has the earliest filing date. Unless of course the combination of service connections is ruled TDIU by the RO during the rating process.
eg; 10% tinnitus, 50% hearing loss, 50% Migraine = 80% combined, plus XX% PTSD. Only time will tell?At least that's what my attorney said to me a few months ago.
Thank you
Ebenifits, Fiduciary Duty
in VA.gov Questions (formerly E-Benefits)
Posted
Thank you broncovet, that's exactly why I came here for advice.
"Instead, I would have a frank heart to heart talk with your dad..take your time. Get him to talk about it. Mostly, as far as possible, you should honor his requests "unless you know for certian" those requests will harm him and are made when he is not fully sane. "
Considering your well thought out comment above, my father would insist that I take over. And I am also certain my father and his wife, would be much worse off than before I got involved.
It's easy to understand when you explain it that way. Much respect to you sir!
I'll just focus on keeping my dad and stepmom safe and comfortable with the least amount of grief during this last phase of life.