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MKAH

First Class Petty Officer
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Posts posted by MKAH

  1. Hi everyone.

    My BVA appeal for PTSD-MST  on Vets.gov was just updated with a curious message as follows:

    "Current Status

    The Board made a decision on your appeal
    The Board of Veterans’ Appeals sent you a decision on your appeal. Here’s an overview:
    Please see your decision for more details.
    What happens next?

    • The Veterans Benefits Administration completes the remand instructions
      They may contact you to request more evidence or medical exams as needed. When they’ve completed the remand instructions, they’ll determine whether or not they can grant your appeal. If not, your appeal will return to the Board of Veterans’ Appeals for a new decision.
      16–29 monthsThe Veterans Benefits Administration usually takes between 16 and 29 months to complete remand instructions."


    One footnote: I have never received a C&P for PTSD-MST.

    I am surprised the BVA has updated "The Board made a decision on your appeal", and then state the need to "complete(s) the remand instructions"

    #1) Is this pretty common?
    #2) When they mail me this decision, I assume I'll be able to read the remand instructions?



    Thank You

  2. Hey Vync,

    " Have you checked this out yet?"
    I did follow the links on the VA.gov URL that you suggested.  The closest location from where I live is San Francisco, roughly 5.5 hours away (each direction).  I called them anyway, and they said the program is not available in every city, but they were very polite and professional.  I could tell that they would much rather have been able to given me better news.  Your suggestion of checking at my local VSO is a good one and I will do that today.

    " It sounds like you are unable to work. It might be worth also exploring TDIU and/or SSDI. "
    I am not service connected for Menier's disease, so TDIU is out for me.   I did not start having symptoms until pretty recently (well after my ETS from the military) , so I think connecting Menier's to military is out of the question?
    Currently, I am receiving SSDI for PTSD-MST with a case review of (MIE) 3 years with a start date of July 2016.  Interesting that my SSDI was approved after only 45 days from the date of  submission which included my VA medical file.

    Since being diagnosed and treated for Menier's disease, I have contemplated updating my SSDI claim information to include that, but I am not sure if I should do that now or see if I get better closer to the expiration of my PTSD-MST SSDI review period?  Any suggestions on that point?

    "Your profile mentions being SC for bilateral hearing loss, so if you suffer from vertigo and cerebellar gait issues more than once a week, you may qualify. "
    Yes, I am SC 50% bilater hearing loss and 10% tinnitus and it is getting worse every year.  Yes, even after TTG ablation treatment for my Menier's, I still have more than one huge episode per week and stagger around like a drunk with a cane the rest of the time.  The worse part right now, is uncontrolled head shaking due to the ablation treatment.  I'm hoping that this settles down at some point, but its been going on since my first TTG treatment.  The TTG treatment has reduced the severity of my Menier's episode which I am grateful for but has unfortunately further damaged my hearing. 

    Sine I have not seen any medical or scientific studies linking NIHL to Menier's, I am not planning on perusing that a SC course of action.  The fact is, this disease is such a mystery that no one seems to have a real grasp on what actually causes it. 

    Vync, were you having vertigo attacks while in service, or did this occur later on?

     

    Thanks again Vync,

     

    Off to the VSO now to see of I can get information regarding a ride(s) to the VA Dr. office  :)

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  3. Several months ago the VA diagnosed me with severe Menier's disease which required Trans Typanic Gentamicin Ablation.  This treatment was performed in San Francisco SFVAMC and have been approved for NON-VA CARE for vestibular rehabilitation therapy for three months twice per week, in the city where I live.

    I am absolutely unable to drive due to the Menier's and/or the TTGA treatment.  The VA ENT has approved and I am now have a parking placard so that I can limit the distance I need to travel with my cane, in order to go to the grocery store and my VA appointments.

    My wife has had to get a job in order for us to make ends meet, and it is very difficult for me to find someone that can take me, then pick me up at from Vestibular rehab appointments.  I contacted to local VAMC travel office and they do not offer a shuttle service for local transportation.   I have also contacted to DAV and they also do not have service available where I live.

    Question:  Should I take a bus or maybe an Uber to my VR appointments during the next three months, and submit them to travel?   Or am am on my own regarding this matter?

    Thank You

  4. I am so happy that you have made it thru this process. 

    Many years ago when I was rated for hearing loss, I received  a direct deposit notification from my bank and about two weeks later I got the brown envelope explaining the decision.  Interestingly, the letter misstated the rating decision percentage and award, so I had to file a CUE with my VSO (clear, unmistakable error) which got corrected about three months later.

    If you have a premium account on benefits, you make be able to login take a look at the following link to see "possibly updated" current ratings: {  https://eauth.va.gov/ebenefits/download-letters  } .  

    However, as senior member will certainly advise, the actual printed letter that you will eventually receive is the document that matters.

    Congratulations,

     

     

  5. On 06/06/2017 at 5:18 AM, MikeR said:

    I think men and women that are attacked are not likely to come forward due to the memories, feelings of shame, guilt, anger, so often they need a caring person to pick up the torch for them.

    You are absolutely correct MikeR.  I thought I was doing the hard core soldier thing by sucking it up and getting my $hit together.  30+ years later (at 57 years old) , it finally caught up to me and I spent nearly 5 months of last year locked up in phyc ward of  various VA Mental health care facilities accross the country . 

    The RO denied my claim without a C&P, since I did not tell my commander or  ave a police report. However, the denial letter confirmed a medical diagnosis of PTSD pursuant to the criteria in DSM-V

    The denial  was the second worse thing that ever happened to me in my life.

  6. After the denial of my PTSD claim, I received a poorly written canned form letter, hap haphazardly pointing to all the reasons for the denial.  Some of the reasons were used several times in the same letter, as if it had but cut and pasted from some master document of denial reasons. 

    The letter  contained numerous errors, eg;
    No sudden request duty assignment change, lay statements from family, service members, deterioration on work performance, behavioral changes, excessive leave, changes in your performance without explanation ...bla bla bla.

    Well, that's total BS, I provided detailed statements from my wife, father, mother, daughters and the Lt. Colonel  of the unit I was assigned to during the assault, all detailing deterioration my work performance, behavioral changes,
    I provided documentation that I applied had for and was rejected a transfer to another unit, and also applied for and was approved for terminal leave.

    However, the letter did clearly state, "VA evidence shows a medical diagnosis of of PTSD, pursuant to the criteria in DSM-V."

    Anyway, I thought it may be helpful to get a hold of my C-File regarding the claim to review what was actually considered rather than what the denial form letter stated.  I thought by doing so, this  would allow me to better address those points and any other incorrect information in the original decision that could potentially be used in developing my appeal.

    I submitted the FOIA request about ten months ago, and it remains in the collection evidence stage with a completion estimated date of over a year.  Interestingly, Ebenefits lists; "Requested Documents are Past Due".  After contacting "Peggy, this is not actually the case and they were not missing anything regarding my FOIA request.

    Is it normal for this FOIA request process take so long?

    Thank you
     

  7. Katnboo2,

    I think everyone suffering from PTSD or any other illness really, has slightly different symptoms.

    Anyway, as hard as it may seem to do, try not to get into a funky rut which keeps you from; " become somewhat of a loner, even distancing myself from the family " as I have done.  You only have one of those, and they can help you more than you think as long as you have a relationship with them that allows it.  Try and find a hobby or something positive to keep you busy so that you are not constantly thinking about your PTSD.  If the medications are making you feel worse or not helping, ask you VA doctor to work with you on alternative medications.  It has been my experience that they will be eager to help you if you show an interest in the treatment they are providing.

    And as you have discovered, the fine people on Hadit.com are alway here for you.

    Good luck and I hope to see you posting soon.

    BTW, If you don't mind me asking, how where you able to discover that the VA accepted your stressor?

  8. On 06/03/2017 at 11:18 AM, SoulArcher said:

    Thank god for this community.  

    I thought my military service was ancient history (NAVY 88-93), but it turns out I have lived longer than my capacity to continue running.

    May I ask for help here in navigating this? I've filed my claim and am on stabilizing medication, but I feel an almost adversarial relationship with the VA and my family is in crisis.  Squatting in a falling apart rv on a now estranged friend's property.  We have just received a VASH/HUD section 8 voucher and are hopefully getting into a place with plumbing in a few weeks, but our financial crisis will not be helped by our inexperience and naive handling of this claim, not to mention my current level of incapacity which is complete.

    About 7 years ago my life started to unravel.  I was having difficulty with my job as a plant manager for a large bottled water company.  I was missing easy things, forgetting important and essential deadlines and I was becoming less and less able to focus.  I was prescribed adderal and that helped for a time, but by 2009 I had to resign.

    That began a downward slide into homelessness for me, my wife and 2 small kids as my capability was eaten away and replaced with panic, sudden bursts of anger and frustration  and implacable feelings of it all ending very soon.  I've become almost completely isolated and have been unable to support my family at all for 22 months now.  I was hospitalized in december (st joes in tacoma) for 5 days due to suicidal thoughts and a comprehensive nervous breakdown. It was from here that I was able to see the events without conditioned filters and my wife (the absolute most patient woman in the world) helped me file a claim with the va.  I've been diagnosed by a psychiatrist in Arizona, the staff at St Joe's and by the VA as having PTSD/MDD and am on a lot of stabilizing medication.

    During my active service while deployed to Diego Garcia in support of the gulf war effort I was told during a routine physical that I had blood in my urine.  My flight surgeon was concerned because she did not have the necessary equipment on hand to rule out bladder cancer.  The decision was made to take me off of flight status and medivac me to Japan for more detailed diagnostic testing.  I was in Japan about a week and had several examinations that ruled out bladder cancer.  During one exam, conducted alone and in an unprofessional manner by a naval officer I was sexually assaulted and it left me in a great deal of physical pain, feeling violated and deeply ashamed.  

     

    When we were alone in the exam room, the doctor nodded at my wedding ring and asked if there was any ‘other’ reason that could be causing this problem.  I said ‘No’.  He pressed authoritatively, “You need to be honest with me, I’m your doctor, are you telling me that you have not fooled around on your wife on deployment?”  I was concerned that there was evidence of something bad like HIV that needed my honesty to secure needed treatment and the truth was that I had cheated on my wife with a girl in my squadron.  And though I was reasonably sure that the protection we had used and the time that had elapsed since our triste was enough to ensure that I was safe from such things, the doctor’s demand for complete honesty and the fact that I felt reasonably safe sharing the truth (he’s my doctor after all) had me answer his question in the affirmative with the explanation of why I didn’t think it material given the explanation of time and protection cited above.

     

    The doctor’s demeanor visibly changed.  Like a mask had come off.  He looked very disappointed, on the verge of open anger.  His face grew red and his breathing changed, like he was trying to control his temper.  “Now I’m going to need you to turn around and drop your drawers.”

     

    As a Naval air crewman, I’ve had over a half dozen prostate exams.  Only one of them could be defined as digital sodomy.  He held me forcefully and told me to, “BE QUIET” when I cried out from the shock and intense pain, begging him to stop or at least tell me what the hell he was doing. It felt like he was trying to force his entire hand inside of me in a procedure that lasted at least a full minute in which the doctor exerted a tremendous amount of effort, nearly lifting my feet from the ground several times.  I started crying as he finished. He released my shoulder and told me to “HOLD STILL OR WE’RE GOING TO DO IT AGAIN” and he squeezed my prostate producing a burning and painful discharge of fluid from the tip of my penis that he collected on a glass slide.  He removed his hand from me and said, “Get your clothes on and next time, keep your dick in your pants.”  He did not answer me when I asked what he had done. 

     

    The exam left me in a great deal of pain, feeling ashamed, punished and deeply violated.  This proved to be a very destabilizing experience as I slowly began to realize through intense and intrusive flashbacks, that this was not the first time I had experienced this combination of emotions at the hands of an angry male authority figure.

     

    I began to withdraw from friends, I took myself off flight status, I was no longer able to shoot my bow, something that had always been effortless before.  But now I was starting to unravel, unable to face the shame of the reality of what the doctor had done and the overlap it had with the, until now, completely repressed memory of being handcuffed and violently raped by my best friend’s uncle at the age of 7.

     

    By the time I was discharged from the service, I was suffering greatly.  It was as though a plug had been pulled and I couldn’t stop the flow of effluent that was leaking out.  And I couldn’t get away from it either.  I desperately needed help.  But I was terrified, confused, intensely embarrassed and depressed.

     

    Within a few months of discharge my increasingly impulsive and erratic behavior led to me causing a vehicle accident while street racing my car (something I had never done prior to the assault, but was now doing compulsively) that killed two elderly women returning home from church on a Sunday morning.

     

    My wife, pregnant at the time, lost the baby shortly thereafter and our relationship imploded.  That KO'd me for a while.  I shunned treatment, counseling anything associated or linked to the accident.  My shame over having killed two people by my irresponsibility became a massive boulder that sealed everything associated with that event off like a tomb.

    I did not want to be seen as a victim myself and set out to become something.  I worked my way up in a company willing to take a chance on a felon and went from a $10/hour night loader to the Plant manager and near 6 figures in 10 years without a degree.  I started racing ATV's (I'd never ridden a motorcycle before) and in 4 years had climbed into the top 10 as a national pro.

    But my life chaos was increasing exponentially as was my self destructive behavior.  after 13 years I again divorced.  This coincided with resigning my position at the water company and and marrying my 3rd wife.

    From there we had our first child while we blew through my retirement trying to figure out what in the hell we were supposed to do.  We moved in with friends and I got a job doing driveways for $12/hour.  My degrading social skills put huge strains on the friendship status of the family that was good enough to help us.  We ended up living in a small camper for 5 months with no plumbing.  I called my old boss who now lived in Georgia and was running a consulting firm to the energy sector and asked for a job.  This guy thought I walked on water at my last place of employment.  We moved in late 2012 across the country.  It was an unmitigated disaster.  I lasted 18 months before I had to resign.  the physical manifestations, panic attacks, loss of focus, inability to follow direction, intense and growing phobia for talking on the phone (it was phone sales job) and an increasing tendency to freeze in stressful situations. (on the phone or in person) just really weird long silence from me.

    We moved to Arizona to live with our in laws.  My wife flew ahead and I met up with my father in law, who was only 6 years older than me in NM.  15 minutes after meeting up, he, died of a massive heart attack in front of me on the side of the road, I had to call my wife and tell her dad had died.

    the two years spent living in phoenix with a wrecked mother in law going through menopause and losing her mind over her grief now had me and my incapacity to focus her pain on.  I started smoking pot heavily (I had not had a substance abuse issue prior to this) and my capability continued to recede.  I was working in a tiny post office in a rural town for 4 hours a day. My beard hair fell out and my panic attacks were happening 3 - 12 times a day and everyone felt like the heart attack I saw my father in law have.  My Daughter was born in August of 2015

    The relationship with my mother in law deteriorated until she sold her house and bought us this little rv we are in now, early in 2016

    I went to the doctor in phoenix for the first time in April of last year where he diagnosed me with PTSD and we picked up and moved back home here to washington to flee the intense stress from living in a dirt parking lot in July in Phoenix in an rv, not to mention the now open hostility directed toward me from my in laws who weren't buying any of it.

    By some miracle my wife was able to locate my Pink medical folder and it has the doctor's name in there and the dates, though he doesnt mention in the chart notes the procedure in question, at least from what I can tell.  This guy was a ltcdr in the NAVY, I'm fairly confident I am not the only person he taught this lesson to.

    So now we are in process.  My wife has done all the filing to date and has been as thorough as possible, but there is a lot of water left to cross and Im not entirely sure of the strength of our case and I dont want to learn on my own experience the lessons of those who have successfully navigated this.

    Any help is greatly appreciated.

     

    As a soldier which indured MST back in 1984, reading your post literately brought me to tears.  I have no expert advice or knowledge f how best to proceed, but you will find it on the Hadit website.  All I can offer is my personal support as an MST survivor and my best wishes as you work thru this process with the VA.  And probably more importantly, is finding a way to live with this problem as comfortably as possible.

    Feel free to message me if you just need to chat, or anything really. 

    T-Bird from Hadit.com saved my life by holding her hand out to me, and providing me the immediate guidance I needed early last year.

    I wish you well and will be following your progress.

  9. 15 hours ago, deerdown said:

    hi everyone I don't have a diagnosos for mst related ptsd they scheduled my cp exam for a few weeks away and I was told that I dident need a diagnosis? is that true? anyway what I'm terrified about is talking about the assult with the examiner!!! I believe I have evidence of the stressor.. suicide attempt but I was told by a few people in 91 and 92 that "men don't get raped son" or "he must have just made a pass at you" which was documented by the psyc guy.. also one njp for telling  an e6 to xxxx off...major decline in performance and eval record scores.,,,,followed by admission of homosexuality ...I was confused and wanted to get out so badly...no one believed me.  really hit the self destruct button after with documented assaultive behavior..,,,cant keep a job,,terrible nightmares,,waking up soaked in sweat if I can even sleep.. no friends 2 failed marrages ect..I used alcohol to help me cope with the symptoms when I wasn't in jail.

    TBird an others have given you great advice.   Tell the CP and any other doctor for that matter , exactly what happened, how it has effected you and completely answer any questions they have.  I am sorry sorry that you are going thru this... you are not alone.

  10. On 01/07/2017 at 11:44 AM, Andyman73 said:

    Found out yesterday 50% ptsd due to MST.  Overall comp rate is now 90%.

    Great news Andyman, I am so happy for you..  That seems really quick for a claim to completed, if fact...that seems incredible? 

    It took the VA about 10 months to deny my PTSD-MST.  The denial statement was full of errors, omissions and looked like a stock form letter that was poorly filled out.  My nod has been simmering for over a year.

    Mark

  11. 1 hour ago, Buck52 said:

    I believe my therapist has not a clue as to how I feel, to me no matter how much education a person has  if that person has never been traumatized then how do they know how a person can feel that has? (they don't) they are like Robots in my opinion and just try to use reverse physiology and all these Hippocratic words they use  ...in other words a make believe world in a therapist eyes.

    I go to see my therapist weekly and I dread every minute of it...but I have to  b/c if they pay you compensation and you don't go to treatments  the VA will find out and Assume your PTSD has shown improvement and  send a letter to reduce your benefits

    Buck52,

    I feel your pain about the therapist visits and you are spot on regarding how no one except those that have experienced this terrible crime can really understand exactly how it feels and how it effects your life.  In my case, the VA doctors and therapists have been extremely supportive and provided me the best treatment they know how to give.  This is a complicated problem to solve for sure.  I am so very thankful for the flexibility and variety of treatment I do get. 

    However when the RO sent me my canned poorly written denial letter (without even the decency of even a C&P exam) that basically read; "nope....that did not actually happen 30+ years ago because you didn't file a police report....", I became blinded with guilt, shame, self blame and absolutely sickened by the audacity of the denial and overall failure of our Government to deal with this problem that has been going on just about forever now. 


    While I am still very proud to have served my country, I read that callous and incorrect denial letter often and think back to that terrible life changing time in Germany back in 1985.  Don't get me wrong, I understand that no system is perfect, but I do know first hand that the system has failed me in my specific case.  It is my sincere hope, that others that have experienced MST as I have, will have a better outcome than me.....this has got to change....it should be given the highest priority by our leaders.

     

    Thanks for listening.

  12. I am attempting to collect information regarding my early exit (Terminal Leave) from the Army back in 1986. My military records do not seem to contain documentation of my actual Terminal Leave request and approval, so I submitted an LES payroll request for the time period involved.

     The LES documents that were emailed to me are pretty mediocre quality so they are difficult to read and I was hoping someone can take a quick look to see if I am missing something regarding the terminal leave?  I believe I took about a month plus/minus of total terminal leave before my scheduled ETS date of Nov 9, 1986. 

     The LES websight has legends of what all the boxes pertain to on the wage and earning statements, however they were a bit different back in the 80’s than the examples shown, so I am having trouble sorting out if leave shows being liquidated during the last month of service just prior to my ETS date of November 1986?

    I do see an interesting caption in the REMARKS section, on the last two stubs: “Member Removed for Early Separation” and the one prior to that reads: “Member Removed for Normal ETS".

    Any help in this matter would be very helpful to my claim.

    https://1drv.ms/b/s!AlTZWWBnj5J27TKxSO5h2aoqAHTw

    PS, I attached the LES file just in case the link above does not work. 

     

    Thank You

    LES_PAY_INFO.pdf

  13. @MKAH  Thank you for your offer and show of support.  It's strange how you think you can out run this with family, career and just life just to find out when you finally slow down it hits you like a steal wall.  I just went for my MH eval at the VA this week and do see a civilian therapist, but do to finances I had to see what VA had to offer in terms of specialized therapy for MST.  We will see.

    Michigander

    You are so right "you think you can out run this".  My last specialized inpatient program was specifically designed and geared for Male MST veterans.  We had drill sergeants, Rangers, Tankers, Infantrymen, you name it...some hard core tough guys. The situation was the same for all of back in the early 80's. Admitting MST to your command would result in you being, labeled as GAY,  chapter'd out of the military,  dishonorably  discharged with a DD214 that permanently reflected your "homosexual conduct" and or psychological reasons.

    I am shocked by the ignorance of people that I personally know, that have no idea how a person can have a family, a relatively stable job while being slowly eaten alive for the past 35 plus years with this terrible mental illness due to MST.  The only way to properly understand it, it to live it.... and of course I would never want anyone to go thru that...

    I hope everyone gets the treatment they need to overcome this.  In my case, it keeps getting worse, the older I get.

     

     

     

     

  14. On 6/1/2017 at 7:27 AM, Michigander said:

    @MKAH  Thank you for your offer and show of support.  It's strange how you think you can out run this with family, career and just life just to find out when you finally slow down it hits you like a steal wall.  I just went for my MH eval at the VA this week and do see a civilian therapist, but do to finances I had to see what VA had to offer in terms of specialized therapy for MST.  We will see.

    The VA does have many programs that focus on PTSD and PTSD from MST.   Last year I spent roughly 2.5 months at a VA hospital SIPU (only 10 patients in the program at a time) located in Roanoke Virginia. It was grueling difficult  work but was the best treatment I have had so far, but unfortunately I continue to have incapacitating anxiety, depression, OCD and SI from my MST.

    Early last year I spent 10 days in a high security BICU unit located in California and 2 months in a regular PTST residential program  in Oregon.  Spent another 10 days in a high security BICU in Oregon as well.

    Pre and post those hospitalizations, I am have been seen at behavioral health clinic where I see a variety of social workers, nurse practitioners and  clinical physiologists at least twice per month.  I am currently being treated via  tele medicine with a clinical physiologist which I feel very comfortable doing.

    My advice is simple, do your very best to follow the instructions of your doctors / therapists, take you medicine as prescribed, don't miss appointments and work hard at getting better.  If something about your therapy is not working for you, politely tell them.  In my case, the VA staff have been very cooperative, supportive and interested in helping me get thru this.  I consider myself extremely fortunate to have great VA medical care.

     

    If you need anything, just say the word.  You have plenty of helpful, kind people on this message board that will reach out and help you if you need it.  eg; T-Bird (in my case).

     

    Good luck, keep working to get better.

     

     

     

     

  15. I was originally stationed at Furt (Nuermberg) and then I was sent to Erlangen..  My unit ID was 1/94 FA MLRS C-BTY.  C-BTY MLRS was a part of the 94th battalion located in Furt, but we were in Erlangen since they did not have room on the cassern for out rocket launchers.  I worked as the combat medic for C-BTY locaed near Ferris Barraks.

     

    " I'm sorry you suffered MST... "   Thank you, same here.  I know you have a complete understanding of the physiological baggage this causes.

  16. On 5/24/2017 at 11:41 AM, Berta said:

    Did your request from NARA your complete 201 Personnel file? It might be in that.

    Don't forget-the VA accepts outcry statements....in essence 'buddy statements from anyone who knew of this incident right after it happened.(outcry)..it could be a unit member or a family member and they could give a detailed statement on your behalf to the VA. The VA needs to have their contact info and they should either write an oath on the statement ( or use a 21-4138-I think it has an oath on it) or get their signature notarized.

    Your unit will surely have a web site and maybe even a Reunion Roster or '

    looking for' area. Sometimes a buddy can be found by simply googling their name and trying to narrow that down.

    Berta,

    Thank you for this information.  Can you tell me more about where to find resources on MARA and getting my complete 201 personnel file?  I googled it but did not see anything that looked like what your are talking about.

     

    Thank you so much.

     

     

  17. On 4/23/2017 at 6:46 PM, Michigander said:

    Hi,

    I am a victim of MST.  I have a police report in graphic detail of the assault while I was serving active duty in the Army.  The events (more than one) occurred 30 years ago, however, the images replay in my mind daily and to this day.  I somehow managed to get through life and was married once and have three children.  I have suffered internally (mentally) for years and have had a multitude of health problems including panic attacks and anxiety.  I want to file for compensation, but also to get the mental help I know need through the VA I understand it there for me...if I can finally get myself to be able to talk about it with a counselor.  I worked full time my entire life (now age 51) but was approved for SSD disability (civilian) for other medical conditions 3 years ago.  When reading some of the blogs proving my MST is not a problem as I have the police report, however, how or what do they need to prove my suffering of panic attacks and PTSD to access if my life has been affected by the MST for compensation purposes.  I have hid the MST events my entire life and even though I have taken anxiety medication on and off and even have seen a few counselors over the years I rarely talked about the MST and focused my sessions on other issues I think mostly so I didn't have to relive the events by talking about them.  So again I am wondering if the proof is there for the MST what proof is needed that it had impaired my life in such a way that compensation would be awarded.  I am not trying to find out how I can manipulate the system, but rather so that I can get an idea before putting myself through all the trauma of going through the application process if there is clearly no way I will even be awarded a disability rating if for example I do not have a trail of doctor's or psychiatry sessions stating I was talking about these events etc. to proved it has affected my life negatively.   

    Michigander

    All I can say is hang with it and get the treatment that the VA has available to offer.  If you can afford private medical treatment, I would consider that as well.  

     Like you, I managed to get into my late fifties before MST (which occurred in Germany in 1985) gradually destroyed me and my ability to provide for my family.   

    If you ever need to chat or email, shoot me a message. Don't forget the crisis help line and all the good folks Like Thunderbird on this message board.  Many of us share your pain.

     

    Good luck,

     

    Mark

     

     

     

  18. On 5/19/2017 at 6:32 AM, Raza2009 said:

    Good morning. Another option would be to order all of your LES's for your entire military career. On the LES it does have when you took your leave. I do know this for fact not from 3rd party. It will take a while to get the LES's but you have to wait to find your records anyway so you have nothing to lose by requesting them. You can go to the DFAS site and search for the link.

    Raza,2009,

     

    Thanks for the tip...I got the link and submitted the request.

  19. Back in late 1984, early 1985 I had filed with my headquarters company a duty station transfer request (which was denied) not long after I was exposed to MST while serving in West Germany. I wanted this information in support my original PTSD-MST claim and now my NOD DRO review.

    During the development of my claim, I personally ordered my military file from the NPRC which contained very little information and did not specifically detail my transfer request or actual Terminal Leave.

    Does the  NPRC collect , archive or possibly have this type of information?

    Thank you in advance.

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