ptsd Fear, What Is The Reason

[sgmdae]

I have held my Vietnam time inside since 1969. I have had very little conversations about it. I was so proud of what I did by the direction of the officers in charge.

My real fear, is now I suppose to tell the true story, of what happe in Vietnam

I am scared to death, that I will lose my stern, non flexible demeener.

I have been trying to talk myself out of asking for PTSD treament

Do I really need to do this. My life is almost over. Is it going to worth it, \

will it do any good. My fellows brothers are dead, I didn't help them then, how is this help them now

My nightmare of killing a female NVA, will never go away, and I will never know if its true. I just can't remeber

[sgmdae]

Thank you Cowgirl, appreciate you being up and on watch

Thanks for the prayer

[Cavtrooper088]

Hang tight SGM. Maybe we can get extracted yet. Looks like I took the next watch. Nightmares woke me up at 0302 hrs, and I had to check the perimeter. K-9 Private Bubbles provide overwatch for me. Well, she did. I'm hearing snoring under my feet as I type this.

Hang tight old friend.

Cav

[sgmdae]

The sun came up at about 4:45, and all is clear, going on my next mission, one of the hardest in sometime

I will return for another night of Watch, is ongoing, when will the guard duty come out with me not on it

Thanks Cavtrooper for the encouragement

SGM

[cowgirl]

Sgmdae, wow, 4:45 thats early - hope your appointment gave you insight on what you need the VA to do for your health and welfare.

Cg'up2009!

[sgmdae]

Yes it was OK, but not any closer to talking to anyone, I hope next week, I can get my first refferal

[clw4514]

I have held my Vietnam time inside since 1969. I have had very little conversations about it. I was so proud of what I did by the direction of the officers in charge.

My real fear, is now I suppose to tell the true story, of what happe in Vietnam

I am scared to death, that I will lose my stern, non flexible demeener.

I have been trying to talk myself out of asking for PTSD treament

Do I really need to do this. My life is almost over. Is it going to worth it, \

will it do any good. My fellows brothers are dead, I didn't help them then, how is this help them now

My nightmare of killing a female NVA, will never go away, and I will never know if its true. I just can't remeber

sgmdae -

im coming in late on this one....been in a fog of my own the last few weeks. it is absolutely worth it!!! do not ever think for a minute that it isnt. anytime u can talk to someone about all of this madness we live with daily and they do not judge u but give u guidance, it is a good thing. as for helping ur fellow brothers, u getting help for u is helping them. im sure they would want u to live the best life possible. if u get a moment of peace out of talking to someone, it is worth it! took me 20 yrs to ask for help. i just thought i was bat shit crazy. well, come to find out, i am bat shit crazy but with reason!!! ptsd and the usaf dropped the ball in helping me. hang in there - u will do just fine! u have a great support group on here.